


Merlin's Guide to Love and Murder

by fatigued_fan



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Author Is Not Religious, Bi Arthur Pendragon, Bilingual Character(s), Bilingual Merlin (Merlin), Complete, Counselor Gaius, Dubious Consent, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Gay Merlin (Merlin), Gay Panic, Gwaine Being Gwaine (Merlin), I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Lesbian Morgana (Merlin), M/M, Mentions of Myth & Folklore, Mentions of Suicide, Minor Character Death, Minor Gwaine/Merlin (Merlin), Minor Morgana/Morgause, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Philosophy, Poor Life Choices, Protective Gaius (Merlin), References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, References to Supernatural (TV), Religious Conflict, Religious Cults, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Arthur Pendragon/Merlin, Slow To Update, Stuffed Dragon, The Good Place (TV) References, Underage Drinking, arthur's a spoiled brat, minor homophobia, minor merlin/Mordred (Merlin), morgause and morgana aren't related, philosophical arguments, philosophy kicks merlin's ass, slow start but picks up, stressed university students, tutor merlin (Merlin), university students arthur/gwen/merlin/lancelot/gwaine/morgana
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:42:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 32
Words: 66,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25679818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fatigued_fan/pseuds/fatigued_fan
Summary: When Merlin Emrys gets a full ride to the prestigious Avalon University, he feels like his life is finally turning around. If he's going to rise through the ranks and truly become successful, there's no distraction he can afford. (Though his best friends thinks he atleast could afford a boyfriend)Enter Arthur Pendragon, spoiled brat extraordinaire and legacy to the university. He's egoistic and brash and most importantly, he cannot stand Merlin Emrys (until he finally can).But students at the university are going missing and like it or not, the two rivals are thrust into a world of danger and mystery where no future is set in stone, not even their own.
Relationships: Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 95





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This starts off slow but it'll ramp up within a few chapters, hopefully. Updates will likely be slow due to work and university classes.

The devil came to Avalon one frozen windy day,  
Called to earth by a scholar fair, a master if you may. 

Untold knowledge the master sought and the devil did obey,  
Granting him the powers of old, the powers of the fade. 

The boon of knowledge did require a certain ancient way,  
A sacrifice of innocent souls, six who would be slain. 

The slain lay at an altar, their souls within the fray  
And the power did transfer that cold and frozen day. 

The powers that were gifted drove the man insane  
And within the year, decaying his soul became. 

A society formed, secret in their ways,  
And now and forever they honour the devil’s deadly gaze. 

So beware to ye, those of Avalon fair,  
For the devil is among you, residing in his lair. 

Magic lives within these elder walls,  
But beware when the dark prince calls.


	2. We're not in Ealdor anymore

“No, mom, I swear that I don’t need Aithusa. I don’t know why you’re even bringing her up!”

The outburst came out of the mouth of a man, well- more like the mouth of an 18 year old boy who thought himself a man. After all, in the eyes of the law he was in fact a man. This boy seemed embarrassed at the mere thought of Aithusa, as if she was a secret to be kept hidden away from others. The woman in the room, the boy’s mother, only rolled her eyes. The roll was somewhere in the valley between exasperation and amusement. Who was the boy, her son, actually fooling? It certainly wasn’t her and he wasn’t foolish enough to delude himself. 

“Honestly, Merlin, there’s no shame in admitting that you need her. We both know that the second I turn my back you’ll scoop her up and tuck her away. So please just take her.” Hunith, for that was her name, knew more about her son than he realized. He was tall and skinny, a bit like a bean pole, with large ears and dark wild hair. If he stood up straight and fixed his unruly hair, Hunith knew that he would attract the attention of many people. He already had back home, though that attention wasn’t exactly favoured by him. But Merlin was not one for confidence, he never had been, and his currently slumped shoulders indicated defeat in regards to the current matter of Aithusa.

Aithusa was a stuffed toy, a small white dragon with holographic sequins and more patches than a patchwork quilt. The dragon had seen the bottom of mud puddles, the tops of the tallest pine trees, and the horrendous mess that had been Merlin’s room from the age of four to present day. There was something about the toy that resonated with Merlin, like it was actually part of his soul. Perhaps it was that Aithusa had been Merlin’s very first toy or maybe it was simply the fact that Aithusa had been the only present that Merlin had received from his father. Regardless of what the toy meant to Merlin, he didn’t want it. Eighteen was far too old to have a stuffed toy in his opinion, and he could only imagine the leer that he would get from his roommate when the other boy arrived. Sensing Merlin’s unease and trepidation, Hunith sat down on the freshly made single bed.

“Come sit with your mother, it’s time that we have a heart to heart.” She said gently, patting the fabric of the flannel comforter. Merlin seemed grateful that his mother wanted to assuage his worries and that she was the one to bring it up. It wasn’t that Merlin didn’t want to talk about his worries and feelings, it was just that he had a hard time doing it when new situations arose and there was so much change. “I know that this is a big change for you and I know how hard this is going to be.”

Merlin sighed and tugged at his shirt sleeve, a nervous gesture that he had picked up at the age of thirteen after a particularly rough year at school. “This is just so different than what I’m used to. You know that Ealdor is small and that everyone knows everyone else. I liked being able to walk down the street and say hi to everyone but Avalon is just so big… And not just that, it’s just- it’s this university. Something about it feels off.”

“What do you mean by it feels off?” Hunith asked. She didn’t feel anything to indicate things being off but then again she had been to Avalon before and knew it better than Merlin. Had Merlin’s father been with them at that moment, Hunith had a sneaking suspicion that he would have only confirmed Merlin’s fears and made it harder for him. 

“Well the campus is already twice the size of school back home so I feel like I’m just going to get lost every time I step outside.” Merlin explained. “And it’s Avalon University, you know how exclusive this place is. The fact that I’m even here is already enough to stress me out. What if I don’t actually belong here?”

Avalon University was a lot of things and exclusive certainly was one. The university itself had a lush sprawling campus filled with nature and buildings with stonework that made them look almost medieval. This gave the school an almost otherworldly feel, as if it were trapped in a time of myth and magic, a time lost to the modern world. At any given point there were close to 100,000 applicants all vying for a coveted spot in the school’s student body though there were no more than 10,000 students at any given time. When one graduated, another was admitted and that was how it had been for hundreds of years. There were legacies, those had familial connections and no problems gaining access to the university, and they had everything at their disposal. Then there were the others, those who had worked and given up everything just for a shot to attend the university, and they had not. At Avalon, it was a have or have not world, and Merlin had not.

Hunith’s frown deepened the wrinkles in her face and she shook her head. The notion that Merlin didn’t belong was absolutely absurd and anyone who knew him and had half a brain would be able to notice that. Everyone except for Merlin it seemed. “I know that you feel out of place given that many of the students are in better circumstances than us but that doesn’t mean that you’re an outsider, dear. We may not have the money to buy our way in but look at you, at what you managed to accomplish. You got a full ride, Merlin! You impressed them so much with your intelligence and your personality that they want you here. They want you badly enough that they’re willing to pay for you to attend. It’s an incredible feat and you know that I couldn’t be prouder of you. Your dad would be proud of you too.”

“I know, mom. Thank you.” Merlin smiled, leaning his head against her shoulder. Part of him was beyond thrilled to be starting this new chapter of his life but the other half of him was dreading when Hunith would leave him. She would come back, Merlin knew that, but it didn’t stop the panic from welling in his throat. What if something went wrong and she bailed on them like his father had? This nagging thought was less than helpful and Merlin had a feeling it would nag at him for the first week of classes and perhaps longer if things didn’t improve for him. 

Hunith sighed tiredly and turned her head, pressing her lips to the top of Merlin’s head in a gentle kiss. “I must be going now,” She said as she stood. “You’ll be okay, Merlin. I’m always a phone call away if you need me for anything. Don’t forget how proud I am of you and that I love you.”

When Hunith left, Merlin began to unpack his suitcase as well as the boxes of other personal items, setting up his side of the room. There wasn’t much, just a few framed photos of himself with his mother and his best friend and Aithusa of course. Close to an hour passed in silence before it was rudely interrupted by someone dropping a large box onto the tiled floor. Merlin guessed it was his roommate as no one else should have a key and looked up in curiosity to see who he would be spending the next eight months with. Hopefully it wasn’t a psychopath or worse yet, someone who took forty five minute showers at inconvenient times. 

The other boy was tall and dressed only as what Merlin could perceive as fuckboyish. A snapback rested on his head, obscuring his long brown hair, and there was a mischievous grin upon his face. His sweater was loose but gave indication of the muscle underneath and the logo was a tongue and cheek phrase akin to a poorly timed joke about breasts. The boy looked like someone who liked to get into trouble and have a good time and that worried Merlin. There would be no dragging into mischief and shenanigans for him, he needed to keep his nose clean.

“So you’re the roommate then, good to know. You seem like a quiet dude so I dunno how well this is gonna work out for you. I kinda get loud and obnoxious but it’s all in good fun. I’m probably gonna have people over a lot but I’ll give you a heads up” The boy grinned, haphazardly shoving his clothes into the dresser without as much as a second look. That alone made Merlin want to take them out, fold them, and then place the back in the drawers. If this guy was going to be messy this entire year Merlin could see himself having an aneurysm or a stress induced breakdown.

“Yeah, I’m the roommate.” Merlin chuckled, stretching out on the bed. There was something about the guy that relaxed Merlin. Maybe it was the friendliness or how his roommate was forward enough to let him know that he tended to get obnoxious. “Just call me Merlin…and yeah, I know that it’s kind of a weird name. My parents were obsessed with mythology and stuff when they were younger.”

“You said Merlin, right?” The other boy asked, eyebrow raised. The name was absurd but also kind of ironic given his own. Should he make a joke about it? Probably not. Was he going to? Absolutely. “Well, my name’s Gwaine if you can believe it. All we have to so now is find an Arthur and we can start the round table.”


	3. Pendragon my stuff into a dorm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lowkey just want to say that moving into a dorm is way more stressful than this.

“I don’t understand why this is necessary? Honestly, dad, living in a dorm is completely pointless. It’s small, cramped, and now I have to have a roommate. I don’t exactly like the idea of sharing a room with some random dude who probably already knows who I am and hates me for no apparent reason.”

Before the blond boy could speak again, he was interrupted. The interrupter only shook her head and sighed, exasperation clear in her tone. “Seriously Arthur, you’re going to bitch about something like this?” She sighed. “You find every excuse to just try and convince dad to let you stay at home and drive to your classes. You literally know that mom wanted us to live in dorms so we could get the experience that she had. So just shut up and stop being such a whiny bitch about it.”

As the two bickered, their father watched in the corner with his arms crossed over his chest and a scowl of displeasure on his face. Uther Pendragon was a harsh man with a short temper and no lack of ambition or willpower. Having built a multi-billion dollar company up from the ground, Uther understood the need for hard work and knew what it was like to come from nothing and end up with everything on a silver platter. It was this metaphorical silver platter that had affected his two children, Arthur and Morgana.

Arthur was strong and willed and stubborn just like his mother had been, a blond beauty with a nasty ego and an attitude that many found to be abrasive. The boy had never been cruel to another person, at least to Uther’s knowledge, but he could see in his son that sense of entitlement that drove people away. It was this entitlement and this ego that was specifically the reason why Uther and his wife had wanted Arthur to live in a dorm. That need to share his space and open up to a complete stranger who might not come from the same background as him would hopefully mould Arthur into a respectable young man, and one who could potentially inherit his father’s business. Uther doubted that that would be the outcome but who knew, maybe a miracle would happen. 

Now Morgana, Arthur’s twin sister, was another story entirely. She was short tempered and fierce as well, her tongue even sharper than Arthur’s, but she lacked that inflated sense of ego and self-importance that made Arthur so intolerable at times. Morgana was fiercely loyal and compassionate to those who she cared for, unafraid to stand up for others and for what she felt was right. Many times Uther had to pick her up from school after a scuffle, nursing a cut or a bruise with ice and copious amounts of Ben and Jerry’s. Uther couldn’t have been prouder of her and he knew that if Arthur ever inherited the company, it would more than likely end up in Morgana’s capable hands.

“That’s enough from the two of you!” Uther snapped, breaking his silence. “Your mother wanted this and I agree with her. Arthur, you need to realize that not everyone has been afforded the opportunities that you’ve had and that people of all backgrounds come to this school. This is a good way for you to gain exposure to those who aren’t so privileged.” Arthur, who had been near protest, shut his mouth when he heard how firm Uther’s tone was. That was the businessman's tone and for all of Arthur’s life it had been synonymous with punishment and coldness.

“And Morgana, you aren’t faring any better. I appreciate that you are welcoming to the idea of a roommate and dorm life but you need to stop antagonizing your brother. All you’re doing is just making the transition harder on everyone involved. Besides, you have your own room to unpack so I suggest you go do that. I’ll be around when Arthur is finished.”

Uther’s tone left no room for discussion or arguments so Morgana simply picked up her purse and left the dorm room, sticking her tongue out just before she closed the door. Thank God Uther had given her an out. She had been mere minutes from hitting Arthur. At this point she hoped his roommate would be worse than him simply to give Arthur a taste of his own medicine. Arthur rolled his eyes at the antics but stuck his out in response before he knelt down and began to unpack his clothes. “I don’t think there was a need for that. I can take care of myself just fine without you standing up for me.”

“I’m sure that you can, Arthur, but I don’t have the patience nor the time for your childish squabbles with Morgana.” Uther sighed, running a hand over his face, “and I wanted her gone so that we could have an adult conversation. There are some things that we need to discuss that I don’t wish for her to hear. You know how she is when she hears something that she doesn’t like.”

Arthur knew that this would only end in another lecture and he sighed internally. All Uther ever did was lecture him on every little thing, as if a lecture would finally get Arthur to change how he acted. This one was likely based on all the rules that would be implemented while Arthur was at school and he didn’t want to hear it. It would be something like no drinking or hookups and focus only on grades.

“The only reason you’re here is because of me.” Uther said bluntly. The utter lack of tact truly shocked Arthur but he couldn’t deny that what Uther was saying had a kernel of truth to it. Arthur had thrown away his chances at a good school by partying and blowing off his final year in high school and had simply relied on his status as a legacy, the child of an alumni at the university, to get his way in. Uther’s charitable donations had been two fold in their intent; one, to contribute to the school in order to make it better for the deserving students and two, to ensure that Arthur was admitted when he applied for the school. The entire ordeal was shady but it had worked for Arthur so he knew to keep his mouth shut.

“I know. I’ve thanked you several times for what you’ve done to get me the best education I can have.” He replied almost curtly. His father would lord that fact over him until he graduated or died, whichever came first. 

“Good, then you know not to disappoint me. You’re a Pendragon, we do not fail and we do not look weak. Succeed in this and I will be prouder of you than I ever have been.” Uther didn’t wait for a response from Arthur, preferring to let his son stew on what was said, and Arthur was left reeling.

He sat in silence for what seemed to be an impossibly long time and when he finally looked up, there was someone else standing in front of him and looking concerned. The boy had to be his roommate. The roommate was tall and handsome looking with deep brown eyes and charming smile, the aura around him disarming Arthur almost immediately. “Hey, uh, are you good? You look kind of freaked out.”

“Yeah, fine- I’m fine.” Arthur mumbled, pausing in order to collect himself. “I’m Arthur, Arthur Pendragon.”

“Well it’s nice to meet you, Arthur. Call me Lance. My full name’s Lancelot Arturo but it makes me sound too stuffy and old-fashioned.” Lancelot smiled. He set down his suitcase and the box of belongings, beginning to unpack in silence. He could tell Arthur was rich and perhaps entitled but planned on giving him a chance. Everyone deserves a chance, regardless of their background.


	4. Girls, Girls, Girls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try and update every sunday if possible.

From the moment that Guinevere set foot on the grounds of Avalon University she knew it was leagues away from what she had grown up with. Avalon felt ancient and cold, the stone and mortar concealing secrets that Gwen didn’t want to know. Each building appeared like it was straight out of a gothic romance; towering spires and iron encased windows overlooking the cobbled paths and dorianesque statues. This old place had its secrets, Gwen could see that. The ancient halls had legends of spirits and demons, dark creatures who snuffed life out like it was just a candle flame. Gwen found it rather morbid.

Ealdor was diametrically opposed to Avalon in every way. The town was small, maybe sixteen thousand residents in total and most of them were seniors or farmers (though they were sometimes both). Everyone knew everyone and the community itself was close-knit. Gwen had lost count of the number of times she had been looked after by an elderly grandmother or the next door neighbour who made artisan soap for her etsy shop. What made Ealdor especially memorable was her best friend, Merlin. Merlin had grown up next to Gwen for all of their lives and they had become the best of friends, absolutely inseparable. Every year they were placed in the same class and sat next to each other and every day after school, they would spend time with Hunith or with Gwen’s father. Every so often they would spend time with Gwen’s older brother, Elyan, but those appearances became less frequent as the years progressed. The pair had survived the trials and tribulations of high school and sworn to attend the same university. It was no surprise when both were accepted into Avalon and immediately went to tell the other. Gwen wished they could have been roommates but the university didn’t allow co-ed dorm rooms so that dream had been dashed at its conception.

Speaking of roommates, Gwen had hers to meet. She had no idea who the other girl was and that only heightened her excitement at the entire experience. It would be wonderful to meet someone new and maybe make a friend that didn’t know all of her embarrassing childhood incidents. Gwen had always wanted a roommate who was similar to her, one who knew how much fun something as simple as picking flowers or hiking in the woods could be. What she didn’t want was some rich spoiled kid who grew up with silver spoons and enough money to feed a small army. A rich girl would be frivolous and obnoxious and probably make fun of the hardworking way Gwen had grown up and of her kindly, albeit somewhat naïve and innocent, nature. Literally any girl would be fine save for someone like Morgana Pendragon.

Morgana Pendragon, in Gwen’s opinion, was the worst of the worst. She was spoiled, entitled, and hadn’t had any sort of hardship growing up. Not to mention the fact that she looked like a raging bitch and while not every girl with a resting bitch face was, in fact, a bitch, Gwen had no doubts that Morgana lived up to it. Gwen was in high spirits until she finally brought in the last box of her belongings and laid her eyes upon her roommate. Her roommate had high cheekbones, long brown hair, blue-green eyes, and an unmistakable face. Out of everyone it could have been, of course it had to be her. Of course it had to be Morgana Pendragon.

“You’re Morgana Pendragon.” Gwen said bluntly, disdain dripping in her voice. Her feelings were more than obvious and Morgana picked up on them right away, almost chuckling at the blatant display. This chick had balls, Morgana could appreciate that. 

“And you’re wearing a vintage 1920’s flapper shirt, what of it?” Morgana shot back, giving Gwen a bit of attitude in return. She didn’t like being judged by anyone who didn’t know her, especially someone she would be sharing a room with for the next 8 or so months. That being said, the other girl was kind of cute in a farm girl cottagecore kind of way. But now was not the time to be a useless lesbian.

Gwen looked taken aback at the fact that Morgana had sassed her and that she had known that her shirt was from the ‘20’s. Not many people had an eye for clothing like that. Maybe she had misjudged Morgana, maybe she should give the other girl a chance. But then again, maybe Morgana was just acting nice in order to use her. The entire situation just made her uncomfortable. “I take it that you don’t like being judged. I’m sorry. I just, people like you aren’t super well liked where I’m from. Rich people tend to hate people from small towns and I assumed you were like that.”

“Well, not to burst your bubble, but I really am not like that. I’m not my idiotic brother Arthur, I don’t automatically assume that you’re awful because you aren’t rich.” Morgana replied, pausing to give Gwen a once over. The other girl was certainly attractive, long black hair and deep chocolatey eyes. Her style was impeccable, the flowery blouse she wore paired with mom jeans and ankle boots. Morgana guessed she had a sort of cottage core vibe and she could get behind it. Maybe things would work out after all. “I don’t think I caught your name.”

“I didn’t give it,” chuckled Gwen as she began to unpack her suitcase. “It’s Guinevere but just call me Gwen, all of my friends do. You were the last person I was expecting to have as a roommate if I’m being honest. You’re about as similar to me as water is to oil. What made you want dorm life?”

“Dead mom wanted it if I’m being honest. That and I figure dorm life is going to help me network and meet people. No nefarious purpose here.” She chuckled, pausing to stretch out on her back. Her answer was candid but it was the truth. “What about you?”

Gwen’s brow creased into a frown when she heard the mention of a dead mother. But hey, at least she had something in common with the Pendragon. “Sorry about your mom but I get it, mine died when I was young too. Dad’s raised me my whole life. And I got a full ride where part of the contract says that I have to live in a dorm for all the years I attend. It’s something about making sure I can maintain grades and not squander the amazing opportunity I have. It’s a load of bs if you want my honest opinion.”

“That’s definitely a stupid rule but you’re not missing out on anything so I guess it works out. I should probably let you know that my dumbass brother’s going to stop by a lot. He’s kind of an arrogant dickhead but he’ll soften up eventually. You got anyone I should know about who might stop by, like a boyfriend or something?”

Gwen raised an eyebrow when he heard that another Pendragon would be coming around. She had a feeling that Arthur would need to be put into his place but she didn’t mind knocking him down a peg or two. There had also been a tone in Morgana’s voice when she had mentioned a boyfriend that Gwen had picked up. It wasn’t a negative tone but one of mild disdain and it said a lot about Morgana whether or not she realized it. “No boyfriend but there is Merlin, my best friend. He’s a sweetheart and shouldn’t be an ass so don’t stress about. He’s like one of those floppy eared puppy dogs who needs to be protected so I kind of have to keep an eye on him all year, promised his mom and everything. But you know what, I think this is going to be a good year.”

Morgana nodded her head in agreement, smiling. A good year it would be indeed.


	5. A Moral Quandary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honour of spending $463 on textbooks, here's another chapter.

“If you could go back in time and kill baby Hitler, would you?”

The faces of every student in the lecture hall stared back at the professor, incredulous looks on their faces. Merlin was no different, the shocked expression blatant and almost comedic in its proportions. He knew that Philosophy 101 was going to be a strange and likely difficult course given how fluid the course material was. Nevermind all of the rumours that had been floating around the professor who taught the class, Professor Kilgarrah, but he hadn’t expected such a question at the very beginning of the first class. It was a doozy, honestly, but Merlin was more than happy to think about the question. Another student in the class, a well-mannered boy, spoke up before Merlin had the chance.

“Is that a serious question?” The boy asked the professor, earning a raised eyebrow and chuckle from the older man.

“Of course it is Mr. Arturo. Since you’ve spoken up, what would you do?” Professor Kilgarrah grinned, leaning against his wooden desk with amusement written on his face. He could tell that an argument would break out in the class and that he would hardly have to teach the first class. There was something about over eager first year students that warmed his heart; perhaps it was the passion in their eyes, or the fact that with all the talk of morality and ethics all of them were still incredibly clueless as to how the world actually worked. 

Lancelot paused to think and shrugged his shoulders before responding. “Obviously I would go back in time and kill Hitler. By doing that the holocaust wouldn’t happen and more than six million people would live.”

“You’d go back and kill Hitler? I wouldn’t do that.” Merlin blurted out, not even realizing that he had spoken out. His cheeks grew red when he heard his own voice and immediately he wished he hadn’t spoken. Had it been any other class Merlin would have gladly remained silent and hung out in the background but this was philosophy and Merlin was passionate about it. It was fine, he just had to argue his point while pretending no one else was there. Super easy peasy. 

“Why not, Mr. Emrys?” The professor asked, having noticed and given Merlin a slight nod, urging him to continue. Here was a student who could excel in the course if forced to share his thoughts and be more vocal. All too often Kilgharrah had seen socially shy students fade into the background.

“Well there’s a lot of issues with the whole argument. Yes, killing baby Hitler could potentially stop the holocaust but there isn’t a guarantee with it. The Nazi party simply could have elected another leader who was better or worse than Hitler which could potentially make the devastation worse. His views were the views of the Nazi party, all Hitler was was a megaphone and figurehead to spout their rhetoric.” Merlin explained. “Even then, is killing a one year old baby morally justified?”

“If the baby is going to grow up to be a monster then yes, it’s totally justified. It’s basic utilitarianism; society does what is the most beneficial for the most people at the expense of others.” Lancelot replied. He hadn’t expected a debate to start and this Mr. Emrys guy knew what he was talking about. Maybe speaking up had been a bad idea.

“The key word there is if. A baby has no morality, it cannot decide that it will hate an entire race of people. It’s not morally justified to kill a child who has no concept of itself just because there is the potential for it to commit genocide in the future. If the issue is Hitler’ upbringing then simply swapping him with another child might be what it takes to correct his behaviours and prevent the atrocities. This doesn’t even take into account if time travel is functionally possible.”

“Well science is progressing far enough fast enough that time travel should be possible and that shouldn’t hinder anything.” Lancelot sighed. This was all getting complicated and he knew just from looking at the other boy that he was about to get another lesson. The professor himself seemed impressed by the discussion that was occurring, not having expected to have a student who actually participated and knew something about philosophy prior to the class. He could sense that it was going to be an interesting year.

“What I said,” began Merlin, “was that it had to be functionally possible. The technology could reasonably exist but we need to take into consideration if going back in time could actually change history or if the universe operates like it does in The Terminator. Most scientists, mainly physicists, and philosophers follow the Novikov self-consistency principle which stops paradoxes but also means that the past can’t be altered. Aside from all of that, there is just too much that’s unknown about the ramifications of what killing baby Hitler could do to justify it. So in short, that’s why I wouldn’t kill baby Hitler if I had the chance to go back in time.”

By the time that the discussion had wrapped up, the class was over and all of the students practically rushed out. It was only the first day and already their heads hurt. Merlin packed his messenger bag up and made his way over to the boy he had been discussing the moral quandary with. He didn’t know why he was doing it, he hated having to meet new people, but he knew that Gwen would be on his ass the entire year about meeting new people. It was better to start earlier so that she couldn’t yell at him for it later. The other boy looked up and grinned a bit. “You made me look like an idiot, I’ll be getting you back for that in class. I’m Lancelot by the way.”

“And I’m Merlin.” Merlin smiled. Lancelot seemed nice enough and Merlin did promise both his mother and Gwen that he would be more social so this was his attempt at making an effort. “I was just going to meet my friend for coffee, you’re more than welcome to join us. I think she’d be happy that I brought someone else along. I think Gwen might be bringing someone else too and they say three’s a crowd…”

“I could spare a few minutes for coffee. I don’t have any more classes today.” Lancelot shrugged, slinging his backpack over his shoulder before following Merlin out of the lecture hall. He hadn’t expected to be invited anywhere so soon by someone he didn’t know but it felt nice to be included. In the back of his mind he knew that his parents would be disappointed and part of that made him sick to his stomach. All his parents wanted was for him to be a doctor or a lawyer, some sort of profession they thought worthy enough, but that wasn’t him. That and they wanted him to date and marry some nice girl from back home and have grandkids. It was old world values at best. Mechanical engineering was hard enough and he thought that that deserved respect as well. Not that it mattered, he hadn’t told his parents about the shift in major yet. Nor had he told them that the very nice girl back home wasn’t looking for a nice guy. 

The café on campus was a well-known and frequented place, the overstuffed chairs and plants giving it a homey feel that was inviting to many students. By the time Merlin and Lancelot had arrived, Gwen and the friend she had brought were there. Merlin couldn’t tell who the friend was by the back of his head and edged closer to get a look, exhaling a sigh of exasperation when he recognized the face.

Gwaine.

“Well this is a surprise.” Gwaine grinned, moving his coffee aside so that Merlin could set down his bag. “Gwen did say a friend was coming and I should’ve guessed it was you from the description. I gotta say, I like her. We’re in theatre together and she’s a damn good actress. She’s pretty easy on the eyes too.”

Merlin raised an eyebrow when Gwaine mentioned Gwen’s looks and let out a snort, unable to hide his amusement. He wasn’t shocked that Gwaine had noticed Gwen and he had an idea of just how well it would end if Gwaine decided he wanted to make a move; not well on his part. “Take it from me, you do not and I repeat, DO NOT, have a chance with Gwen. You’re not her type. You’re too uh- what’s the word… unpredictable.”

“That from personal experience?” Gwaine asked, leaning back in the chair. “Cuz, and no offence, you don’t look like the type of guy who would be interested in a girl like Gwen.”

“Well I’m not interested in girls, period, so you’d be right about that.” Merlin shrugged. It didn’t seem like a big admission to Gwaine but Merlin went through all the stages of mourning in one fell swoop, unsure of how his roommate would react to the news. Gwaine simply didn’t care and just moved on from it. 

While Merlin and Gwaine caught up and chatted about Gwen, Lancelot had gone to get a cup of coffee. It had gone off without a hitch up until he turned around and felt the hot cup of coffee connect with something solid. Time seemed to slow to an impossible crawl as the coffee spilled from the cup and found its mark on a white peasant blouse. Lancelot was more than concerned as to the well-being of the other person but his heart nearly stopped when he finally looked at the victim of the spillage.

The girl had stunning brown eyes and curly black hair swept over to one side of her head. Her white peasant blouse was soaked through with coffee and it had trickled down to her skinny jeans, leaving what Lancelot would assume was a nice stain and reminder of the incident. The expression on her face was one of pure embarrassment but also one of anger and somehow it only made her all the more appealing. She broke the silence first, clearing her throat awkwardly and covering her chest with her crossed arms.

“Hey, uh, can you maybe turn around? You kind of just soaked my entire shirt and I don’t feel like showing a random stranger my bra.” She mumbled. Gwen had felt anger when the incident occurred but then she had the chance to look at the offending party and somehow her anger lessened. Naturally she was still irritated but the guy looked just as embarrassed as her and he was attractive so it helped. There was an odd sort of fluttering in her stomach and a thumping in her chest and she knew that she wanted to get to know him. She couldn’t help but think how ridiculous it was that the first hot guy she had seen had spilled coffee on her

“Shit, yeah, sorry.” Lancelot mumbled. He turned sideways to give her some privacy and found himself handing Gwen his hoodie. The hoodie was soft and yellow and Gwen gratefully accepted it, pulling it over her soaking shirt before turning back to him.

“I don’t think I caught your name. I’m Guinevere, Gwen for short.” She smiled, pausing to seat herself in the empty chair beside Merlin.

“Lancelot.” He replied, seating himself beside Gwaine. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Gwen.”


	6. Advice

The academic advising office was a desolate place, a place full of dashed dreams and hopes squashed underneath a boot like a dying butterfly. Hard plastic chairs lined the white hallway and the wooden doors concealed a litany of offices where those who could determine the very outcome of a students’ academic career worked. It felt like a maze, like a collapsing ant tunnel where workers would go to die. Merlin sat on one of the plastic chairs tapping his foot in time with the clock ticking away on the wall, desperately wishing he could leave. He knew that he would have to visit an advisor’s office at least once but he hadn’t expected it to be bright and early on a Friday morning during the first week of the semester. Merlin’s musings were interrupted when he heard his name being called and he begrudgingly got to his feet, entering the office.

The office was cozy to say the least, a comfortable looking chair sat in front of a hardwood desk that seemed crammed with all sorts of files and books. A shelf had several pictures of the counselor with what looked like professors and older students and a lively ivy plant hung from the ceiling. A particular picture caught Merlin’s eye: three smiling students huddled together in a group hug. He dimly wondered who the boy to the right was and why he looked so familiar but pushed it to the back of his mind. Wondering wasn’t going to get this meeting over with. There was an air of comfort though, aside from the picture, and it made Merlin feel more at home, more like this meeting wasn’t going to be an omen of ill fortune in the future.

Merlin’s counselor, Gaius, was an older man who dressed the part in a sweater vest and loose fitting dress pants with wire rimmed glasses and mid length white hair. He smiled at Merlin and gestured for him to have a seat, setting down a manila file folder that no doubt had all of Merlin’s information in it. “It’s nice to meet you, Merlin. I’m Gaius and I’m the counselor that’s been assigned to you. Typically we don’t have specific counselors assigned to students but given your full ride and the additional stipulations that come with it, you do have the need for a specific counselor. I know your mother and father which is why I asked for this assignment.”

“Okay, I do think my mom might have mentioned you once or twice so that makes sense. What’s this meeting about, I wasn’t exactly given a lot of information.” Merlin replied. He thought Gaius seemed nice enough but that did little to assuage his worries. The fact that Gaius knew his mother didn’t trouble Merlin but knowing that Gaius knew his father did. Maybe he would be able to shed some light on why he had abandoned them. 

“Well, it’s largely just to make sure that you’re on track with the courses that you’ve chosen as well as making sure you’re aware of the extra requirements given your scholarship status. You have nothing to worry about, this isn’t the kind of meeting where I say that your grade is in danger or that you’re being expelled for plagiarism or something of that nature. You’re majoring in religious studies and philosophy, correct?”

Merlin nodded his head to confirm and leaned back in his chair, fiddling with the end of his sleeves. He was aware that his major wasn’t exactly one with high demand for work but it had always fascinated him and he couldn’t see himself doing anything else but that for the rest of his life. There was just something so interesting about how religion and philosophy seemed to pervade every facet of society and daily life. “Yeah, those are my majors. I’m minoring in French too, just in case you don’t have that in your file folder.”

“I do have it but thank you for confirming that as well. You’re already aware that you need to maintain an average of at least eighty percent to keep your scholarship and that you need a science class and a language class to cover your broader, non major specific credits. French will cover the language and your statistics course will cover the science credits so all of that is taken care of. This meeting is largely about an opportunity that you have due to your minor. Because you’re in French, you have the opportunity to get your tutorial credits by tutoring a student who may need some extra help. I bring it up now because we already have a student who is looking for a tutor and you are only one of about five students who could tutor him and receive credits towards your degree.”

Tutoring some guy on French sounded interesting. Maybe the guy would be cute and it would be like some tropey fanfiction where everything was sunshine and roses. The fact that it would also count towards his degree was certainly encouraging and Merlin figured he could use the extra practice with the language. “Yeah, I’ll do that. I can tutor him.”

~

Why was the french language so absolutely ridiculous? Honest, who thought that a word with eighteen vowels and ninety letters where only seven of the letters were actually pronounced was a good idea? Arthur certainly didn’t want to know who had thought the language was a good idea. 

Like oiseaux. Practically the entire word was vowels and somehow you pronounced it like wah-zo. How in the hell did that make any sense?

It didn’t matter, Arthur had to stick with french that year but he would be free come april. The whole language credits thing was utter bullshit in his opinion, he just wanted to have fun and maybe study history, but rules were rules. French would have been fine had it not been for the entire class he had had that morning. They labelled it a beginner class, said that all were welcome and that it would be easy to learn, but he had shown up and immediately that was wrong. Half of the students could speak limited french and the professor spoke a mile a minute which did nothing to ease Arthur’s anxiety. 

Hell, he hadn’t even been able to introduce himself properly. It shouldn’t have been hard to say “Bonjour, je m'appelle Arthur” but he had biffed it big time and his mood was sour. Arthur knew he would need to have a tutor and he resented himself for it but whatever, it was fine. Provided of course that Morgana didn’t find out about it. This realization that university would actually be hard work was enough to sour Arthur’s mood as he turned the corner to the academic advising hall. He just wanted to get back to his dorm and forget all about that day. 

~

The remainder of the meeting went smoothly and Merlin left the office in high spirits, relieved that the meeting hadn’t been too serious. Immersed in his own thoughts he hardly noticed another boy walking towards him and with a loud thump, they knocked into each other. The encounter knocked the other boy on his ass and Merlin stumbled back, the rough brick of the wall digging into his back but preventing him from falling.

“What the fuck, watch where the hell you’re going!” The other boy yelled, picking up his bag and getting to his feet. Merlin knew almost instantly that this kid was a legacy. The entitlement rolled off of the boy in waves and the preppy way in which he dressed did nothing to help that.

What frustrated Merlin the most, besides the fact that the other male was clearly an inconsiderate dickhead was that the inconsiderate dickhead was hot, stupid hot. Merlin had always liked blonds and this guy was blonder than most, his hair catching the light and looking far softer than it should. His eyes were a deep brown shade and those lips looked positively inviting.

“Hello, are you dense?” The boy muttered, waving a hand in front of Merlin’s face and snapping him back to reality. “Watch where you’re going next time. I don’t want poor getting on me.”

Merlin had planned on letting the incident go but red flashed before his eyes when the other boy mentioned being poor. Poorness had absolutely nothing to do with what had just happened. “Listen here you arrogant clotpole, I don’t care if you’re rich or even royalty at this point, you have no right to yell at me for something that wasn’t solely my fault. I don’t know how life works for you but here’s a tip; try being nice, not an arrogant dickhead, and you might find that people will like you better. And if you want to know who finally stood up to you, it’s Merlin. Now have a good day.”

“I beg your pardon?” Arthur asked, damn near anger at the other boy and his clear lack of remorse.

“Then beg.”

With that Merlin brushed past the other boy, Arthur according to the name on a textbook, and began the walk back to his dorm. Arthur watched Merlin go in stunned silence. No one had ever talked to him like that before and it startled.

Just who was Merlin?


	7. He's a P(r)etty Asshole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Am I posting to procrastinate studying for my neuroscience course? Maybe.

Standing there, shellshocked, Arthur’s brain began to process what had happened. Some kid, this random Merlin, had run into him and then had the gall, the absolute balls, to blame it all on him. The nerve on that boy!

Honestly, who would even consider naming their child Merlin? It sounded like some medieval peasant who died of dysentery. The name was ridiculous but Arthur couldn’t deny the way it seemed to roll off of his tongue and how it did in fact fit the other boy quite well. And who would ever come up with an insult like clotpole? What the hell was a clotpole, Arthur certainly didn’t know. The insult itself didn’t anger Arthur but the fact that someone else had been rude to him and he treated him like less than he was did upset him. It was this level and the upset Arthur felt that triggered something inside of him. This thing had always been there but Arthur had never acknowledged it, preferring to keep it secreted away like a princess in a castle. He had gone ten years of his life acting like it never existed and Merlin, the absolutely gorgeous idiot, had forced it awake and forced Arthur to acknowledge it.

This all started when Arthur had been knocked to the ground and looked up to see who had done it. The other boy was tall and lean, almost like a runner, and Arthur found himself wondering if they were at eye level while standing. He would love to give the other boy a piece of his mind and just maybe stare at his eyes. They looked like they were a deep blue and Arthur was reminded of the ocean in its infinite depth and strength. The second thing Arthur noticed were the boy’s ears, how they stuck out like dumbo, and how wisps of black hair curled around them. A flash of panic shot through Arthur when he thought about running his hands through the other boy’s hair; he wasn’t gay, not at all. This was some fluke, some cosmic joke that his mind was playing on him. All of that changed when he rose to his feet and yelled at the other boy, his anger fueled by the panic fueling his racing heart. The boy had looked stunned and then opened his mouth, his voice and defense only shocking Arthur more. This boy was soft-spoken and gentle sounding, only adding to the jarring effect of the insult. Clearly he rarely raised his voice and Arthur could only imagine that Merlin would be someone good to talk to, someone who would understand and offer decent advice. Unfortunately for Arthur, he had opened his mouth and shot back. He knew that he had made an ass out of himself but he was too conflicted to care. Morgana would be able to help, he was sure of that.

~

Morgana and Gwen were laying on their beds in their dorm when the first set of knocks on the door rang out and a blond walked into the room with a look of panic on his face. Gwen didn’t know who he was but seemed concerned and figured Morgana knew him based on the smirk that had spread across her lips. “You look like you’re having a crisis, Arthur.” Morgana grinned. “I’m surprised it took this long for you to have one. A week is a more than generous time slot.”

“Maybe. I need to talk to you. Does your roommate have to be here?” He muttered, glancing over at Gwen. He meant no insult but it came across as judgmental and Gwen raised an eyebrow, rather irritated at Arthur who Morgana had already said was a bit of an arse. She had dealt with worse than this blond back in Ealdor. 

“I live here so yes, I’m going to be staying here. You can always pretend I’m not here or maybe I can even give you some advice. Provided of course that you aren’t ignorant to me because I’m not in the same circles as you. I may not be rich but I will not hesitate to beat you if you’re being rude.”

Arthur paused to ponder Gwen’s response and nodded his head, mildly ashamed of what he had said. Maybe he was acting like a bit of a spoiled brat after all, but that didn’t matter now. “Sorry, yeah, you can stay. So uh, Morgana, you’re like gay right?”

Morgana’s grin only widened and she nodded in agreement. She had figured it out at the ripe old age of 10 and decided that she was going to own it. At school she was out and proud but at home, at home she kept it hidden. If Uther knew, he would likely disown her and that was not something that she could afford at the moment. Aside from that little hiccup, Morgana owned her identity and proudly displayed it. The Hawaiian dad shirts, flannels, and doc martens in her closet only added to that as did her propensity for Girl In Red songs and flowery tattoos. “Yes, I’m very obviously a raging lesbian. Why is that important to whatever your crisis is?”

Arthur sighed and ran a hand through his sandy hair, pausing to sit down on the empty space at the foot of Morgana’s bed. He had already started and put his foot in his mouth so the last thing he could do was chicken out and say nothing. It was hard though, to even think about saying what was running through his mind, especially when there was some random chick that he didn’t know who was listening to the conversation. Lord knows how scandalous any rumours could be if they were leaked to the press. It was fine, Arthur thought, it would all work out in the end. At least he hoped so. “I uh- well, I sort of don’t know if something that happened like an hour ago makes me gay… This guy bumped into me, insulted me, and then all I could think about was how pretty his eyes were…”

Before Morgana could answer, there was another knock at the door and Merlin came waltzing in. His eyes were lit up and he immediately sat down on Gwen’s bed, completely ignoring the fact that Arthur was sitting on Morgana’s bed. “Gwen, you would not believe what happened today. I went to my academic advising meeting and then I swear to god that the hottest guy I have ever seen barrels into me in the hallway. So I yelled at him, called him a clotpole, and honestly I don’t regret it. Is it weird that I wanna know who he actually is so that I can find out if he’s single?”

Both Arthur and Morgana had frozen, their conversation falling silent as Merlin walked in and began to explain what Arthur had just finished explaining. Morgana clued in near the beginning and had to turn away to hide her smirk, her stomach beginning to hurt as she held in laughter. There could not have been a funnier scenario than what was currently happening, Arthur hadn’t seen who it was but immediately he recognized the voice and felt a heat rush to his face. He did his best to hide his face but eventually his eyes met with Merlin’s and they were just as blue as they had been a few hours ago.

“You have a habit of following guys around or am I just special?” Arthur asked. He meant to sound inquisitive but it didn’t work out that well. It came across more as condescending and clearly it rubbed Merlin the wrong way, judging by the sudden sourness in his expression.

“I happen to be friends with Gwen and simply wanted to vent about how rude you were earlier that’s all.” Merlin muttered, rather unimpressed with Arthur. The last thing he wanted was to give Arthur any satisfaction with an answer that he obviously wanted. “Can I at least know your name since you so rudely didn’t give it to me earlier?”

“Arthur, Arthur Pendragon.”

The silence in the air was palpable as Merlin realized just who he had insulted and just how much power the other boy had. Not only were the Pendragon’s some of the most influential people of the century, they also had direct ties to the university and to Merlin’s own past. He knew they were connected to his father but not how they were connected and that thought alone filled him with anger. “So you’re basically a royal clotpole then, good to know. Can I get an apology for earlier or do I have to kiss your hand?” Merlin mumbled sarcastically.

“As if I’d want your lips anywhere near me.” Arthur muttered defensively. “But whatever, I’m sorry I ran into you.”

“And I’m sorry that I ran into you.” Merlin shrugged. He hadn’t needed an apology from Arthur but it felt good to knock him down a peg or two. “And Gwen, I’ll see you tomorrow morning. We can walk to French together.”

There was another set of prolonged silence as Merlin rose to his feet and left, shutting the door behind him. The first to break the silence was Morgana and she couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all, almost laughing at Arthur in a way that was both mocking and playful. “Who are you and what have you done with my brother?” She teased, wiping away the tears from the corner of her eyes. “In my eighteen years of dealing with your bullshit, I have never seen you apologize for anything and that includes apologizing to me for beheading my barbie and sticking gum in my hair.”

“I have so apologized!” Arthur protested, not particularly liking the avenue of the conversation, “but yeah, that’s the guy that I kind of knocked over. The one that I think is kind of a pretty asshole. I just called a guy pretty…. Does this make me gay? I’m so confused...”

Both Gwen and Morgana shared a knowing look and Morgana sighed. “You apologized to him and mentioned several times that you think he’s pretty. You could just appreciate guys but I’m pretty sure that you’re bi at least. The only way you’re going to know for sure is if you take a chance and fool around with a guy.”


	8. Falling in Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there is no once a week posting any more, I've decided spontaneity is the key. That and procrastinating any kind of homework from school.

A month had passed since the beginning of the semester and the mild weather of September had turned to the chilly weather of October. Green leaves had shrivelled into reds, yellows, and oranges and they coated the cobblestone paths with their brilliant colours. The stone arches and statues littered around the campus were damp with dew and the smell of fall, of wet leaves and pumpkin spice lattes. There was a sense of contentment in the air but along with it, an ever growing sense of heaviness as if something nefarious was brewing. No one felt this more than Merlin.

From the moment he had set foot on the first cobblestone of Avalon University, he knew there was something off. It looked perfect, too perfect, like a painted façade hiding something rotting underneath. The ancient buildings loomed overhead and trapped Merlin in a dizzying maze of claustrophobia and nervousness, as if at any moment he would look up at one of the numerous stained glass windows and see a figure shrouded in mist staring back at him. He knew the stories of course, about the ghosts seen on campus and about the very founding of the university. The legitimacy of it all was questionable at best but Merlin had always been fascinated by the supernatural and this was a mystery worth unlocking. Not only were the buildings and the layout of the school full of mystery, its professors were just as mysterious. Kilgharrah was eccentric to say the least, and professors Cenred and Morgause were like ghosts. Merlin had tried to dig up anything he could about their personal lives after a rather tense encounter with Cenred that left him reeling.

Said encounter occurred when Merlin had first attended Cenred’s class on classical poetry. The poetry studied included both Milton’s Paradise Lost and Dante’s Inferno which wouldn’t have been out of the ordinary for a class like that if the unit had been centered on religious imagery involving the devil and not just epic poems. Cenred had focused on the depiction of the devil and opened up the class for discussion so, naturally, Merlin spoke out and entered into a debate with the professor. The discussion had been fruitful and Merlin thought he had held his own pretty well but his heart had plummeted into his stomach once Cenred had asked him to stay after the lecture. It was never good when a professor asked someone to stay after class. The discussion after class involved Cenred berating Merlin for being so vocal in the class and asking increasingly more personal questions as he tried to ascertain how Merlin knew so much about the devil in classical poetry. Merlin answered as best as he could but he was too focused on Cenred himself to be of much help. The man was tall and classically handsome, a structured face and eyes so dark they looked like black holes. He gave off an air of danger and mystery so intense it almost made Merlin sick. It had been weeks since the encounter and even now Merlin still thought about. What was his professor trying to play at with that power trip?

Before Merlin could even begin to ponder the question, Gwen jogged up to him and poked his ribs. Merlin scrunched a bit before turning to Gwen and smiling, grinning when he noticed she had on Lancelot’s hoodie from the coffee incident a few weeks prior. “You’re wearing his sweater again. You do know that we’re going to meet him and everyone else at the library, right?”

Gwen turned her head to glance at Merlin and her expression said it all. “Obviously I’m wearing it knowing full well that he’ll be there. I haven’t seen him since the incident and his sweater is comfy. Besides, maybe I want to get to know him a bit better.”

“Ooh you like like him.” Merlin grinned, playfully pushing Gwen. “And I have it on good authority that he likes you. He literally asks me about you all the time in philosophy. I bet you could get him to play nurse with you.”

“Merlin!” Gwen laughed, half offended but not hating the idea. She punched his arm in mock offence but felt her cheeks heat up at the suggestion. “I mean, it isn’t a bad idea, but not yet. Anyway, I think Gwaine and Morgana are joining us too. I told her we were doing like a group Halloween thing and she was down. Apparently the library has a librarian who’s drop dead gorgeous and may or may not have been flirting with Morgana. I’ve given up on trying to guess who she thinks is hot because I’ve gotten both Meryll Streep and Ruby Rose within the span of five minutes. ”

“Well I’m sure Morgana can get who she wants. You know I don’t like girls but Morgana is pretty hot.” Merlin shrugged. “And Gwaine is coming, I said we were going to trade Halloween stories or something and he was down. I honestly just think that he likes having the entire group together because your pitiful attempt at flirting with Lancelot the first time was hilarious. I have to get through my tutoring session first though and then I’ll join you guys.”

“You have any idea who your tutee is?” Gwen asked, pulling out a chair to sit down before setting her bag down beside her. “And my flirting was not that awful. You know I get intimidated around hot guys.”

“Just that he’s a guy and a freshman like us.” Merlin shrugged, sitting at the table next to Gwen. Merlin, being bilingual, was tutoring in French like Gaius had suggested, Gwen knew French as well so he didn’t mind if she sat there while the session went on. A few moments later Arthur walked into the library and Merlin noticed him immediately sighing. “C’est Arthur.” He muttered. “Mon dieu, la terre n’aime pas moi.”

Gwen took that as her cue to leave and moved seats to sit at another table, offering Arthur a small smile before she sat down. Arthur returned the smile before sitting and glancing across the table at Merlin. He had already been apprehensive about the tutoring, feeling like he had to be stupid if he needed a tutor, and the fact that it was Merlin of all people only made that worse. Of course the universe had to pick the one person he didn’t want to deal with again. After the discussion with Morgana and Gwen, Arthur hadn’t had a peaceful night. The revelation that he might not be completely heterosexual was causing a great deal of inner turmoil. Did he only fancy Merlin and then girls or were there other guys who he might also fancy? He didn’t know the answer. And how exactly did that work, being with another guy? He understood how it worked with girls, he had had plenty of experience, but this was something else entirely. That didn’t matter now, he just needed to get through the session without making an ass out of himself. The last thing Arthur wanted was to give Merlin any ammo to use against him. “So, this is happening… you, uh, you’re bilingual huh.”

Merlin snickered at Arthur’s nervousness before nodding his head. He seemed so unsure of himself, Merlin would have to take it easy on him. “Yep, have been all my life. So, you’re taking French for your language credit then. Do you know anything in the language or are you totally green? And I’m gonna be honest, this session is gonna be short. I kind of have plans with friends after this.”

“Morgana and Lancelot were telling me about that, something about ghost stories in the archive room.” Arthur had heard about the plans and knew that he wasn’t included kind of hurt. He knew that he wasn’t technically a part of the friend group but having usually been the one to leave people out, he didn’t like being on the other end of things. The experience certainly wasn’t enough to humble Arthur but it did open his eyes to how his behaviour had affected others. “I know the curses, the alphabet, and I can count to ten I think. That’s about it.”

“Got it.” Merlin nodded. This Arthur wasn’t being a prat, maybe this session wouldn’t be so bad. If it went well enough, maybe he would ask Arthur to join the group activity. It would be nice to not feel like a 5th wheel for once, and maybe it meant that Merlin could get closer to Arthur. Arthur was still an ass but he was also still stupid hot and judging by what Merlin had overheard in the dorm room, potentially in the market to find a boyfriend. Or at least someone to help him figure out his sexuality. “Let’s get started.”

~

A few minutes after Arthur arrived to begin the tutoring session and Gwen had sat down with her nursing textbook, the rest of the group arrived. Gwaine sauntered over first and dropped his bag, saluting Gwen with two of his fingers. “I’m going to give you and Mr. Charming some alone time, there’s a cute barista at the café downstairs. Be back in 10 with coffee and a number.”

Gwen flushed red when Gwaine left and looked up just in time to see Morgana flash her encouraging thumbs up before she left, presumably to go flirt with the cute librarian who currently had her arms full of books about Sappho. There was little time to react as Lancelot sat down across from Gwen. Immediately she noticed that he had put some effort into his appearance, having combed his hair and put on a knit sweater that hugged the curves of his arms and chest. He looked nice and Gwen felt her face flush even redder when she met his eyes. “I like your sweater, it looks really soft.” She smiled, reaching out to touch his shoulder. 

“Thanks.” Lancelot replied, glancing down at her hand. The touch had been simple yet it took his breath away, Gwen took his breath away. “I see you're still wearing my sweater. You should really keep it. I think it looks better on you.”

“Is that your way of flirting with me?” Gwen grinned. Her own heart was racing, the steady beating drowning out any nervousness. She hadn’t meant to be so forward but it was working so she didn’t feel like stopping. Hopefully it would work out with Lancelot, Gwen didn’t know if she would be able to handle a heartbreak. As tough as she was, matters of the heart had always been Gwen’s downfall. But enough about that, it was for another time to worry about.

Gwaine had returned with the barista’s number and Morgana in tow, the two of them snickering about some sort of inside joke. Knowing Gwaine it was probably dirty. Merlin had finished up his tutoring session and apparently invited Arthur along for the excursion to the archive room. Having sworn to Hunith that she would look after Merlin, Gwen was apprehensive about Merlin and Arthur. Clearly Arthur didn’t know what he wanted and that didn’t bode well for Merlin who had a hard time even talking to someone new, let alone thinking about dating them. This Halloween night would prove to be interesting but Gwen didn’t know if it would be the kind of interesting that they wanted.


	9. Scary Stories to tell in the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up that a lot of chapters from here on out, including this one, may contain triggering topics.

“So what exactly were all of you planning to do down here?” Arthur asked as he followed the group down the long spiral staircase into the bowels of the library. The archive was on the lowest level of the library, shelves upon shelves of ancient dusty tomes towering over the group and obscuring the weak rays of light from the flickering bulbs. It felt claustrophobic and tight, like a maze that would trap its users until their eventual demise. 

“Well, that’s a hard question. It was supposed to be Merlin and I down here looking for an old text about the history of the university for one of Cenred’s classes but then everyone else got wind of it.” Lancelot shrugged. 

“I suggested we go drink since it is halloween night and it’s friday but apparently a party is a bad idea.” Gwaine added rather dramatically. “So now we’re going to sit down here while the two history nerds do their research and tell ghost stories to try and spook everyone. There’s a ton of urban legends on campus and apparently it’s like super haunted.”

“Oh, I see.” Arthur nodded, silent as he followed the group to the large table in the center of the archives. Gwen and Lancelot sat next to each other, even Merlin picking up on the difference in the vibe between the two of them, and Morgana sat next to Gwaine. Merlin and Lancelot took the corner of the large table which left Arthur to sit in between Gwaine and Merlin, awkwardly glancing at Merlin. Their session had gone well enough and while it was nice to be included, it felt so strange to sit next to someone who had done the impossible, insulting and confusing his feelings of annoyance into mildly amicable ones. Perhaps Merlin had magic.

“Alright, time for stories,” Gwaine grinned. “I’ll go first.” 

~

“Her name was Annalise Carlyle but everyone who knew her called her Annie. Annie was a fourth year med student specializing in psychiatric disorders. They say that she had become close with a professor who had taught her since freshman year. Some say that it’s professor Cenred but that’s just a rumour at this point. According to the story, she discovered a particularly nasty experiment one of the professors was conducting on volunteers desperate for extra credit in their classes. No one knows what the experiment was but there’s rumours that it involved lobotomies and extreme religious beliefs, like the kind that convince someone they’re going to hell for even thinking about using God’s name in vain. She went to the ethics board about it and apparently they turned her away, laughing at how ridiculous it was. This totally set her off and she started this crusade against all of the professors, trying to uncover some crazy conspiracy theory.”

“What conspiracy theory was that?” Morgana asked, kicking her feet up onto the table and stretching out. The idea that a professor was involved in some crazy unethical experiment was beyond ludicrous and so was the inclusion of the supernatural. Morgana didn’t doubt that the supernatural actually existed but the likelihood of it existing in avalon was slim to none. “It had to be something ridiculous.” 

“I don’t actually know,” Gwaine replied, running a hand through his hair, “but it’s probably something about how the school got founded and the professor's involvement in it. There’s some book all about the history of the university down here, it’s what Merlin and Lancelot are off looking for at the moment. As I was saying, she was convinced that there was this huge conspiracy and set out to try and prove it. One night she found herself in this very archive room searching for the same book that our two buzzkills are looking for. Apparently she found it and when she did, what she uncovered was horrific. The book contained all the proof she needed to justify her theory, though I think she was just crazy and delusional, and she went to take it to the police. No one is entirely sure what happened but she didn't show up to her exam the next day and apparently hadn’t gone back to her dorm room so her roommate reported her missing. That’s when it gets interesting. The police found her in the archive room, face down on the floor with her face buried in the book. She had slit her wrists and there was blood all over the pages. It was labelled a suicide but that’s kind of questionable at best. Anyway, they say that you can still see her ghost roaming the archive room and that if she spots you, she’ll chase you and leave cuts on your skin.” 

Morgana hadn’t been unnerved by the story and neither had Lancelot or Arthur but it had freaked Gwen out. Currently she was leaning against Lancelot, practically on his chair as she tried to calm her nerves. Stories with ghosts had always freaked her out, even as a child, and the fact that the victim had been a med student only heightened her sense of unease. Nursing wasn’t anything like being in pre-med or med but it was close enough to home that it hit her more than the others. Naturally Lancelot had picked up on the tense shift in Gwen’s body language and it took a few minutes before he mustered up the courage to wrap his arm around Gwen, rubbing her arm with his hand to try and comfort her. The gesture, however unconscious Gwen thought it might have been, did help to ease some of her anxiety. 

“You know what page the blood is apparently on?” Merlin asked as he returned to the table, setting down a hefty looking book. The book itself was bound in thick black leather and the pages were yellowing, erased pencil and various pen scratches on the pages. Titled The Unabridged History of Avalon University, it was considered the holy grail for those seeking knowledge on the university’s founding. 

“Page 73 I think.” Gwaine replied, stretching his arms out and yawning. It was late now, maybe 11 pm or so, and it was likely that everyone except for them had left the library. Merlin sighed and began to leaf through the pages, pausing when he reached page 73. Before he could examine the page to determine what was written on it, the edge of the page sliced against his finger and 6 drops of blood splashed onto the page. The page was just as wrinkled and old as the others but there was a key difference; the dried blood flaking off into the crease of the book. It was old and smelled like dirt but it was enough to make Merlin gag and turn away.

“Yeah, that’s blood.” He muttered, collecting himself before looking back at the others. He looked noticeably paler, the colour leaching out of his cheeks. Blood had always made Merlin queasy but there was something about the book itself and the papercut that was affecting him, making his joints ache and his head pound. It didn’t feel natural. “So that story is true. That really isn’t comforting.”

“Well the school does have a history of suicides.” Arthur interjected. “It isn’t common knowledge but it’s easy enough to find if you know where to look. There’s usually one or two a year, sometimes more though there’s more disappearances that never get solved. The school doesn’t advertise it because it’s bad for their reputation and their business. You said her name was Annalise Carlyle right?”

“I did.” Gwaine replied, raising an eyebrow. He hadn’t had much opportunity to get to know Arthur but from what Merlin had told him, Arthur did live up to being a pretty boy. It was also rather obvious to Gwaine that Merlin was interested in Arthur, his posture attentive and eager whenever Arthur spoke. He didn’t get the appeal of a rich kid but he wasn’t about to stop Merlin from securing a bag. Gwaine didn’t see the part of Arthur that was egoistic but he figured it would happen eventually. Morgana, knowing her brother’s train of thought, knew where Arthur was going and decided to finish it off for him. 

“Yeah, Annalise killed herself that year but so did Robert Harlow and Balinor Emrys. Robert drowned himself in the fountain in the quad, the freaky looking one with the gargoyles. They say it was a suicide but all cameras apparently malfunctioned when he actually died so no one really knows what happened. If you want my opinion, it wasn’t a suicide. It was way too convenient and no one would try and drown themselves, it’s way too inefficient.”

The moment Morgana mentioned the second man, Merlin’s posture went stiff and rigid. There was no way that that name was correct, it couldn’t possibly be. His already pale face had grown paler and the queasiness in his stomach only intensified. Both Arthur and Gwen noticed, Gwen turning to say something to Morgana though it was clearly too late as she had already begun to speak. Arthur had already gathered his things in his bag, recognizing the signs that Merlin was about to flee the archives. The tense posture, clench of his jaw, and glazed look in Merlin's eyes was so reminiscent of Arthur’s childhood that it felt like a visceral gut punch. 

“And Balinor, the second guy, he hung himself. I actually think it was in your dorm, Merlin. He apparently failed his physics exam and got so upset that he ended it. Supposedly he had a girlfriend at the time and a kid on the way or something. They kept this one really on the downlow so I do think it was actually suicide this time. We only know about it cuz our dad knew the guy.”

There was a heavy silence hanging in the air, broken only by the thundering squeal of the chair as Merlin pushed it back and rose to his feet. He glanced over at Gwen with an expression that perfectly emulated the confusion and hurt thundering away in his heart before he rushed off, tears stinging his eyes and blurring his vision. 

“What just happened?” Morgana asked, noticing both Gwen and Arthur getting to their feet with Gwen grabbing Merlin’s bag. Both Gwaine and Lancelot seemed confused as well though their concern for Merlin far outweighed that. In the few months that they had known Merlin, they had come to see how compassionate and caring he was so to see him so visibly disturbed and emotional was exceedingly abnormal. 

“That man you mentioned, Balinor, that was Merlin’s father. He didn’t know about what happened.” Gwen explained quickly before she rushed off after Merlin, Arthur following in her trail.

~

Merlin didn’t know where he was going when he made it out of the library and into the chilly night air, only that he needed to get as far away from that claustrophobic room and that conversation as possible. His heart hammered away in his chest with such a ferocious intensity that it threatened to burst and the sound echoed in his ears, driving him mad. Shakily he brought the back of his hand to his face to wipe away the tears that began to spill from his eyes, a stray crack in the pavement sending him sprawling into the fountain. The concrete dug into his palms and shredded the tender flesh, blood welling on the stinging skin, and he could feel the scrapes on his elbows and knees begin to bleed as well. That was the final straw for him and he leaned against the fountain, the mist from the falling water mixing in with the tears.

It was all too much for him. Knowing that suicides took place on campus was fine but finding out that his father, the man he had grown up believing abandoned him and his mother, had actually taken his life only made it weigh heavier on his heart. Had it been his fault that his father had ended it or were there further extenuating circumstances no one else knew about? Why had his mother lied to him for so long about it? And why had she told Gwen before him? None of it made sense to him. 

“Merlin, are you alright?” Gwen asked, voice filled with concern as she knelt down. Turning the flashlight on her phone on, she took a look at his scrapes. The scrapes on his hands were serious enough, large pebbles embedded in the skin but those on his knees and elbows would be fine without any interference. “You scared me half to death running off like that when it’s the middle of the night! I know this was a shock, and you weren't supposed to find out like this, but you can’t just run off like. Your mother would never forgive me if something happened to you.”

Merlin let Gwen take a look at his scrapes and did his best to calm down through his hiccups and tears but froze when she spoke, jerking his hands away from her and getting to his feet. His face contorted from a mask of pure unadulterated pain to one of accusation and unbelievable betrayal. “Did you know?”

Gwen glanced down at her feet but didn’t reply. The can of worms that had just been opened wouldn't be able to be closed. Who knew the extent of the damage done to the relationships between both Gwen and Merlin and Merlin and his mother had been? Would either relationship ever truly recover?

Merlin wasn’t capable of being cold or forceful with anyone, it truly was not in his nature, but this time was different. His face was a mask of calm, barely concealed rage in the clenched trembling of his jaw and his shaking fists. Even his posture was rigid and harsh, looming over Gwen with an intensity she had never seen before. Perhaps the biggest change was Merlin’s voice. Everyone knew how he was soft spoken and rarely even swore, let alone raised his voice, but now his voice was harsh and left no trace of the boy with the goofy smile and compassionate heart. “Guinevere, did you fucking know?”’

“Yes.”

Merlin sucked in a breath and closed his eyes for a moment. The anger suspended in his voice dissipated in an instant, replaced with an intense sadness that matched the light dying in his eyes. “We’ve known each other since we were babies, we tell each other literally everything, and you couldn’t tell me this?! You know how I feel about my father, you know what I’ve put myself through because of him, and still you neglected this? I thought we were best friends, I really did. I guess I was wrong. Don’t bother me anymore, I have nothing left to say to you.”

Before Gwen could even form a thought on how to defend herself, Merlin turned around and began to walk off in the direction of his dorm. Arthur, who had witnessed the entire exchange, glanced at Gwen as if to say ‘I got this, go get some rest’ before he followed after Merlin. Merlin’s anger had vanished once he had yelled at Gwen and stormed off and tears once again filled his eyes. He was well aware that he looked a right mess but was hardly in the mood to care, his chest aching with a loneliness he had never experienced before. Opening the door to his dorm, he stumbled in and turned to stare at Arthur through blurred vision. “What do you want? Are you going to harass me again for showing my feelings? I promise I won’t get poor on you.” 

“I’m not here to harass you, Merlin. And I’ve already apologized to you for being a clotpole when we first met. What I’m here to do is clean up your scrapes so they don’t get all infected and to make sure you’re okay. I’m not a people person but no one should be alone after learning what you did.” Arthur explained. He got Merlin to sit on his bed and then pulled out a cloth, wetting it with water before pressing it to the scrapes to clean them. “I don’t know what it’s like to lose a parent that way but I did lose my mother when I was young so I know how that feels. You feel like you’re missing a part of yourself, like you're the reason that they died, even though you couldn’t have done anything to contribute to it.”

Merlin sat there and let Arthur clean up the scrapes, wincing every so often when he pressed just a tad too hard. The entire process for his hands, elbows, and knees took maybe a half hour and it allowed time for Merlin to cry without fear of judgement. He had always been sensitive and while he didn’t like crying in front of others, he needed to do it this time. Arthur said nothing the entire time, simply focusing on helping Merlin and being a shoulder to cry on if needed. Whether or not Arthur was aware of it, Merlin was influencing him for the better. He wasn’t perfect, not by any means, but the act of something as simple as checking on Merlin and cleaning up his hands was something Arthur never would have done before meeting the other boy. “You didn’t have to come after me, I would have been fine on my own.”

“I’m sure you would have been but I’m here now so suck it up and let someone help you.” Arthur chuckled, moving so that Merlin could stretch out on his bed. “I know this wound is still fresh but it isn’t Gwen’s fault and I think that you know that deep down. Your mother likely asked her to keep it quiet so that she could tell you herself. Now you’ve had more than enough trauma today so what you need is to rest. Do you want me to stay here until Gwaine gets back?”

Merlin paused to think for a moment and decided to take a chance on things. Arthur had been a gentleman so far and, truth be told, had actually helped him calm down, so maybe it would be wise. “Yeah, you can stay. Just don’t get any ideas, this isn’t an invitation for anything.” Merlin replied, lamely implying that Arthur was into him. While the joke didn’t land particularly well, Merlin did feel better saying it and mildly perked up when Arthur replied. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Merlin. Besides, we both know I’m out of your league.” Arthur replied, very clearly joking. 

And while Arthur watched over a sleeping Merlin like a guardian angel, the universe began to shift. Blood had been shed and an evil had begun to wake, the tremors of its stirring conscience echoing from deep within the beating heart of the university.


	10. Even Moms can Lie

Arthur was dimly aware of a faint rhythmic knocking somewhere to the left of his head as he was roused from his slumber by Merlin’s bedside. He cracked his eyes open, his blurred vision clearing up as he settled his gaze on Merlin in his bed. Apparently he had fallen asleep in the chair beside the bed, Gwaine nowhere to be seen. 

Merlin was still fast asleep, half of his face buried in his pillow and a stuffed white dragon tucked under his arm. While Arhur had always thought stuffed toys were childish, he could get behind seeing Merlin hugging one. It was cute and felt like a truly authentic Merlin mannerism. Arthur could see how Merlin’s eyes were still red and puffy and his heart truly went out to the other boy. He looked so peaceful but tortured and Arthur hated to see it. Seeing that he was still in the previous day’s clothing and knowing that he hadn’t brought a change of clothes with him, Arthur decided to borrow one of Merlin’s sweaters. Naturally he would give it back but for now it would have to suffice. The sweater itself was navy blue with a bee stitched on the pouch pocket and though it was baggy on Merlin, it fit Arthur’s slightly more muscular frame much better. 

The knocking hadn’t stopped and Arthur opened the door, expecting it to be Gwaine. Who he found on the other side was most certainly not Gwaine. The woman looked to be in her mid to late thirties with long brown hair piled into a bun and a kind face. She was solidly built, like she had worked on a farm all her life, and she had on a sweater and jeans. Glancing at Arthur and taking in his disheveled appearance combined with the hoodie, she cocked her head and grinned. “So, you’re the boy that my Merlin is raving about. I’d say it went pretty well considering your bedhead.” She chuckled.

It took Arthur a moment to realize that the woman had to be Merlin’s mother and he stepped aside, his cheeks flushing red at the insinuation. He certainly hadn’t expected to meet Merlin’s mother nor had he expected her to be so young or so forward. “I- uh, it’s nice to meet you. My name is Arthur.” He stammered out. “But Merlin and I are just friends, that’s it. There was a bit of an incident last night and he asked me to stay with him.”

“Ah, so you’re Uther’s boy then. The resemblance to your mother is uncanny, I have to admit.” She smiled. “I went to university with your parents, just in case you were concerned that I knew you. And you can call me Hunith. Now what was the incident about? Guinevere called me about it but wouldn’t tell me exactly what it was about.” 

Arthur glanced back at Merlin when he shifted, realizing that he was coming to. “It’s about your husband, Balinor. He found out last night about what actually happened to him and it’s quite safe to say that his friendship with Gwen will need a while to recover. I’m going to leave you two to talk, it was nice to meet you.”

Arthur left not long after that and Merlin woke just in time to see him leave, frowning a bit before yawning and sitting up. His head was pounding and the light hurt his eyes but he didn’t have the chance to acknowledge it because he was noticing his mother. Tired and lacking any sort of rationality, he glanced over at his mother and glared. “I’m assuming that Gwen called you and told you about what happened. So explain to me why you’ve been lying to me for the past 18 years.”

Hunith sighed and she sat down beside Merlin on his bed. Her face had aged years in the mere moments since Merlin had woken up and Merlin already felt bad. Maybe he had overreacted but he felt like that was totally justified. No normal human being would just move on like nothing had happened. “Yes, it is true that your father took his own life and yes, I have been lying to you. I don’t have a reason that I think you’ll find valid but I’m going to explain anyway.”

“Explain to me why Gwen found out before I did too.” Merlin said, sitting cross legged and setting Aithusa in his lap. 

“Your father and I met in high school which you already know about, in ninth grade. Well we both knew that we wanted to be together by the time senior year ended and I found out just after prom that we were going to have you. I told him that raising a child while attending classes would be hard but he wanted it and he proposed. We eloped, you know how that side of the family is, and then we went to school here. Things started going wrong when we got here and I hate myself for not noticing sooner.”

“What do you mean things went wrong?” Merlin asked, his eyebrow raised. He could sense the bitterness and remorse in his mother’s voice and he was starting to wonder if maybe he had been too hasty in judging her. After all, he didn’t know the entire story yet. 

“He was in religious studies as well and had many of the same professors that you do now. Cenred took an interest in him and signed him on as a teaching assistant and research assistant which is unheard of for a first year student. He became convinced that there was some sort of conspiracy involving all of the faculty here and he met up with Annalise and Robert who also believed him. I don’t know what they were looking for but it changed him. He started to become withdrawn and obsessive, barely spent any time with me. I thought it was just the research but whatever it was drove him to do it. I found him, you know..”

Hunith trailed off and it was clear that she was remembering the trauma of the event. She remembered coming home from class and calling for Balinor, her stomach dropping when he didn’t respond. Searching through the apartment, she came across him in the bedroom. The body was cold and hanging and she remembered numbly calling the police. Merlin could see the pain in her eyes and he reached out, taking her hand in his and squeezing gently. He knew this was hard for her and the last thing he wanted to do was make his mother cry. “You don’t have to talk about it anymore, it’s okay. I’m still upset that you didn’t tell me about this sooner but I get that this is hard to talk about and that you just wanted to protect me. All you’ve ever done is try to protect me, mom. I’m not saying that I completely forgive you for keeping this from me but I think we can move past it slowly. Just please don’t lie to me about stuff like that any more.”

Hunith nodded and turned, wrapping her arms around Merlin and hugging him tightly. “You are the best thing I have ever done.” She smiled. The hug lasted for a good while and she was smiling softly when she pulled away. She was still hurting but knowing that Merlin knew the truth and didn’t hate her was a huge relief that she never knew she needed. “Now I met Arthur this morning, he seems like a nice kid. He’s certainly easy on the eyes.”

“Mom, seriously?” Merlin groaned, already flushing red, “And yeah, he is pretty hot. He’s kind of a dick but he also really cares and it’s so confusing. I freaked out last night and he calmed me down and got me cleaned up without complaining. He’s figuring it all out, I think, and I want to help but I don’t want to get hurt. It’s one of those ‘Oh I’m straight but actually I’m not and I’ve just been repressed for years’ kind of situation and I think he’s gonna try to experiment with me to cement it. What should I do?” 

“Well sweetheart, I remember when you came out to me and how you were confused about all of your feelings. I know Arthur’s father and it won’t end well so I would help Arthur figure things out. If it doesn’t work out then it just doesn’t, but you’ll hate yourself for not trying at all. No one is saying that you need to go and kiss the boy on the lips today but definitely show him that you’re interested.” Hunith smiled. “Now we both know that you need to apologize to Guinevere. Yo don’t need to forgive her completely and there’s no guarantee that your relationship will ever be the same but we both know that Guinevere is your best friend and you aren’t stupid enough to lose her. I’ll be waiting here until you get back and then we can go out for lunch. How does that sound?”

“Good.” Merlin nodded. He pulled away and stood up, stretching his arms before running a hand through his hair. Once he had collected his thoughts he left the dorm and headed off to Gwen’s to apologize and hope that she wouldn’t hate him. 

The walk was short, maybe ten minutes at most, and soon enough Merlin was knocking on Gwen’s door. She didn’t come to the door right away so Merlin tried it and it opened with an ominous creak. Morgana wasn’t there but Gwen was and she turned her head to glance at Merlin. Her eyes were red and puffy, bags indicating that she hadn’t slept a wink that night. Gwen still wore the previous day’s clothing but none of that concerned Merlin; what concerned him was the way that Gwen was clutching her arm. 

“What happened?” He asked, making his way over to her bed and sitting down beside her. Merlin chose to ignore their feud so that he could focus on helping Gwen. Whatever was wrong was more than just the fight they had had the previous night. His first thought had been akin to self harm but he knew Gwen and she would never do something like that. 

“I…” Gwen began, trailing off as she looked down at the bedsheets. Her voice was raw from crying and there was a hint of fear in the back of it, as if she were afraid to speak up. Before she continued on, she pulled up the sleeve of her sweater to show Merlin what had happened. Along the entire length of her forearm were a series of what looked like severe rope burns and a knick from something sharp. The injuries looked quite painful and Gwen winced when Merlin brushed his fingers against her skin. “I was attacked last night, after our fight…”

“Attacked?” Merlin repeated, anger seeping into his voice. He had no idea what it was like to be a woman walking alone at night but the mere idea of someone attacking Gwen was enough to set him off. The last thing Gwen ever deserved to be attacked and afraid. “Did you see who did it?”

Gwen rolled her sleeve back down and leaned against Merlin. She had enough sense to know that he wouldn’t be angry at her, he wouldn't have come if he was still upset, and she wanted the comfort of being close to someone else. “That’s the thing, I didn’t see anyone else. I was walking back and I passed the library when someone grabbed me. It was dark so I couldn’t see who it was but I felt what was happening to my arm. They rubbed it until it bled and then they just vanished. I thought I would turn around and see who it was but what I saw didn’t make sense. It looked like a ghost, like some woman with blood dripping down her arms. I swear to god that it was Annalise Carlyle.”

Merlin raised an eyebrow. Ghosts weren’t real, there was no way that it could have been the dead girl. Sure, people claimed to have otherworldly experiences but none of that was actually real, was it? “You’re saying that you were attacked by a ghost… Gwen, ghosts aren’t real. Are you sure that that was who you actually saw?”

“Like I said, it was dark, but I’m one hundred percent sure that I saw Annalise Carlyle. I know that ghosts aren’t supposed to be real but there’s no rational way to explain what I saw.” Gwen mumbled. “It has to be because of that stupid book you were looking at last night. You know the rumours that the founder of this place made a deal with the devil, that there’s some crazy cult running around, it has to be because of that.”

Merlin did know about the poem explaining the founding of the university and the rumours surrounding strange activities and encounters but it was all too fanciful for him. That being said, being in the major that he was, he was open to the possibility that maybe there was some truth to matter. All he needed was some hard evidence, something to prove without a shadow of the doubt that the supernatural world was converging on the university. There was something nagging at the back of his mind about the entire situation, about the book itself that he had read. The book had felt old but there was a thrum of power that Merlin felt when he touched it and more than that, he felt called to it.  
“I still don't think it was a ghost but there’s definitely something going on that doesn’t seem right.” Merlin agreed. “And speaking of not right, what happened last night wasn’t right. I shouldn't have yelled at you like I did. It’s not your fault that my dad died and it isn't your fault that my mom decided to keep that from me. I might have overreacted and I’m sorry.”

Gwen could see how Merlin looked apologetic in the slope of his shoulders and the way he smiled awkwardly, opening himself up for an onslaught. What he had said had hurt her and while she wanted to be angry with him, she knew she would have reacted the exact same way had she found out the same news. She wasn’t going to forgive him, not completely. But she wouldn’t torture him either. “I get it, Merlin, it’s okay. I’m still upset so I'm not quite ready to be best pals again but I think I can keep talking to you. Tell you what, if we get to the bottom of this without getting hurt or dying then I’ll be all good.”

Merlin grinned. He knew Gwen would come around. “Sounds like a plan.”


	11. Hi I'm Bi- I mean I'm Arthur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honour of buying a tie dye bucket hat with a duck flipping everyone off, have another chapter!

“So tell me again what happened when you opened the door?” Morgana asked, barely holding back a grin as she sat up cross legged and tossed Arthur a pillow from her bed. Gwen had just left with Merlin to go out to lunch with his mother and just as they left, Arthur burst in wearing a sweater that was very obviously not his own. Her brother had looked mildly flustered and panicked and it brought joy to Morgana. He was having his first major identity crisis and it was laughably adorable. 

Arthur caught the pillow before sitting on the desk chair, hugging the pillow to his chest. He looked mildly irritated by her laughter. It wasn't his fault that he was so confused, it was that damn Merlin’s fault. That stupid boy with his stupid soft looking hair and stupid goofy smile and stupid laugh. “He freaked out and ended up scraping himself up pretty bad last night so I got him back to his dorm and cleaned him up. It wasn't like I kissed the wounds better, I literally just washed them out. But then he was still crying so I sat there and let him cry into my shoulder and then I asked him if he wanted me to stay with him. He said yes so I stayed and fell asleep in his chair. I didn’t want to wear the same shirt again so I borrowed one of his sweaters and then opened the door and met his mother.”

“You’re still wearing the sweater even though you’ve had plenty of time to change so clearly you like him, or at least the detergent that he uses.” Morgana chuckled. “But honestly, you’re whipped for this guy. I have never known you to care about whether or not someone is hurt so the fact that you took the time to not only walk him back to his dorm but ALSO to actually clean him up means that he’s affecting you. You said you let him cry on you too?”

“Yeah, I did. He looked like he needed to cry and I didn’t mind staying, it’s not like I had anything else to do. I might have mentioned mom to him; I just didn’t want him to feel like he was the only one who had a dead parent.” Arthur shrugged. Now that Morgana was mentioning it, he likely wouldn’t have cared if it had been someone else.. But Merlin was different. Merlin was gentle and kind and something about his heart wrenching sobs had jerked a reaction from Arthur, and had made him care. But that didn’t make him gay, did it?

“Look, Arthur, I get what it’s like to be confused about how you feel when it’s totally new but unlike me, you have people who are willing to help you.” Morgana sighed. “It’s perfectly okay for you to experiment and figure things out. There’s no crime in getting with a guy and then realizing that you aren’t into that or vice versa with a woman. I tried dating a guy once but it didn’t work out and I‘m no worse for it.”

Arthur started to respond but paused when he felt his phone vibrate. He raised an eyebrow and checked it out, unsure how to feel when he saw a text from Merlin. Lancelot probably gave him his number but he wasn’t sure. What Arthur was sure of was the fact that he felt butterflies in his stomach, something he hadn't felt with any other guy. “Merlin just texted. He wants to know if we can do our tutoring session early cuz he has to go to the archive room and he doesn’t want to go alone. What do I say?”

“You say yes and you go, dumbass.” Morgana sighed. How Arthur even made it to university was beyond her. She loved him but dear lord was he ever a clueless idiot. “I doubt he actually wants to tutor you, he just doesn’t want to be alone there. He did look really freaked out last night. This is literally the perfect opportunity for you to feel things out. Get to know him better, ask him questions, and maybe you’ll even get to first base.” 

“I doubt that.” Arthur muttered, turning to glance at himself in the mirror and fix his hair. Morgana was putting ideas in his head but he didn’t hate them, not in the slightest. Before he left, Morgana grinned and whispered a phrase in his ear. It was French and she guaranteed that Merlin would be impressed if he used it. 

~

Merlin’s text to Arthur had been impulsive, spurred on by his over eager mother and Gwen. He had been planning on returning to the archive room to try and find the book again though he had wanted to bring Gwaine or Lancelot along. His mother had suggested that Arthur would make better company, especially if there was any potential for romantic entanglement. Merlin had begrudgingly agreed to it though part of him was looking forward to seeing Arthur. He hadn’t forgotten how Arthur had looked after him and he wanted to repay him. There was no debt but Merlin felt like he owed Arthur. 

The walk to the library wasn’t long and it gave Merlin a chance to stew on his feelings about everything. Gwen being attacked filled him with anger and dread; she deserved nothing but good, not to be afraid to walk around campus. The woman who attacked her, Merlin refused to believe that the ghost of Annalise Carlyle was real and haunting the university, needed to be brought to justice and if disproving a century old theory about cults and the devil was key to that then Merlin would disprove it. Arthur was already there and Merlin had to do a double take when he saw the other boy. “Arthur, is that my sweater?”

“Maybe.” Arthur muttered, having completely forgotten that he was still wearing the sweater. “I’ll give it back later, I promise. So, I met your mom this morning. She seems like a nice lady, looks kind of young though.”

“She’s like 37, had me when she was 18, so yeah she’s youngish.” Merlin shrugged, holding open the door to the archive room so that Arthur could enter first. “Whatever you did made an impression on her, she didn’t stop asking about you at lunch. Gwen had to intervene like six times.”

“So you two are talking again, that’s good to know. I was hoping that it would work out given the history you two have.” Arthur smiled. He was relieved to hear that it had worked out, he liked Gwen and longed to have the same kind of casual friendship that she seemed to have with Merlin. “So why’d you really ask me to hang out? I highly doubt you just enjoy being in my presence. I believe I’ve been called prat and clotpole by you more than my actual name at this point.”

“Well for a few reasons I guess. One, Gwen was attacked by someone last night and she’s shaken up. She thinks that it was the ghost of Annalise Carlyle but I’m not so sure about that. Secondly, I don’t really want to be in the archive room by myself. There’s just something about that place that gives me the creeps. And finally, I figured we could actually do your tutoring session today. That and I wanted to thank you for last night. You didn’t have to do what you did given the fact that we kind of just met each other and that I was emotionally really volatile.”

Arthur’s eyes widened in surprise at the fact that Gwen had been attacked and that Merlin wanted to thank him. The idea that there was something on campus that could harm them wasn’t exactly calming to Arthur. He also hadn’t done what he did the previous night for a thank you but he wasn't about to not accept it, especially when it came from Merlin. Arthur still didn't know if Merlin was a fan of him yet. “Is she okay?”

“Aside from being freaked out and some pretty serious rope burn on her arm, she’s fine. Lancelot’s gonna spend the day with her so that she isn’t alone. I’m pretty sure they’re gonna get together, they were pretty cozy last night before everything happened.” Merlin explained, setting his bag down beside the table. The archive room was as claustrophobic as it had been the previous night and Merlin’s chest felt tight though some of that was alleviated by Arthur’s presence, There was something calming about his presence, not so much in the sense that Arthur himself was a calm person but that he had a sort of protective quality about him. Maybe it was that he seemed so confident in himself, Merlin thought. He would do well to learn some of that from Arthur. 

“Well I'm glad she’s okay. Speaking of okay, how are you doing?” Arthur asked, kicking his feet up onto the table as he watched Merlin begin the search for the leather bound book. He had been worried about Merlin despite his best efforts to not think about the raven haired boy and when he had seen Merlin’s mother, his mind had immediately gone to a scenario that had him worried. “I know you were upset with your mom for keeping that information from you.”

“I was upset and I still am but I get it, I really do. I apparently look like him which doesn’t help the situation. She said that apparently he was ta’ing for Cenred and that he became obsessed with the history of the university. Apparently he met up with the two other people who died that year and they uncovered some conspiracy or something. Gwen’s convinced that her attack has to do with the book that I was looking at and the number of suicides and disappearances around campus since its founding.” Merlin said. He selected the book from the shelf and slid into the chair beside Arthur, opening it up and flipping through it. He paused on one of the pages, eyes scanning the writing. 

The devil came to Avalon one frozen windy day,  
Called to earth by a scholar fair, a master if you may.  
Untold knowledge the master sought and the devil did obey,  
Granting him the powers of old, the powers of the fade.  
The boon of knowledge did require a certain ancient way,  
A sacrifice of innocent souls, six who would be slain.  
The slain lay at an altar, their souls within the fray  
And the power did transfer that cold and frozen day.  
The powers that were gifted drove the man insane  
And within the year, decaying his soul became.  
A society formed, secret in their ways,  
And now and forever they honour the devil’s deadly gaze.  
So beware to ye, those of Avalon fair,  
For the devil is among you, residing in his lair.  
Magic lives within these elder walls,  
But beware when the dark prince calls

“So, I’m assuming that that’s the poem that talks about the founding of the university.” Arthur said, leaning over Merlin’s shoulder to read the writing. He was close enough for Merlin to feel the breath on the back of his neck and it made Merlin’s stomach do all sorts of loops. Merlin wasn’t sure if the move was intentional or not but it was enough to throw him off. That and the smell of Arthur’s body wash or cologne or whatever it was, was practically intoxicating. It had some sort of clove or nutmeg and some sort of natural musky scent that filled Merlin’s nostrils.

“Y-yeah, it does.” Merlin mumbled, clearing his throat as he snapped back to reality. “Henry Avalon supposedly sacrificed six people somewhere on the university grounds in order to summon the devil. Supposedly it worked and he gained untold knowledge but he had to build a structure in the place of the sacrifice to contain the power. Some say that he created a following around his experience so that he could have access to more sacrifices. I’m guessing that the power failed and he was cast into ruin, if you believe in all of that stuff anyway. Personally I don’t.”

“So a crazy devil worshipping cult is kidnapping university students to sacrifice and no one has noticed for like a hundred years? Yeah, that sounds batshit crazy.” Arthur muttered, eyebrow raised. The entire thing was so preposterous that it couldn't possibly be real. “There’s no way it’s real. But it does kind of fit with Cenred’s obsession with the devil. Do you think he thinks it’s real?”

Merlin nodded in agreement and flipped through some more pages until he came across the page from the previous night, page 73. Along with the older bloodstains sprayed across the page, he could see the bright remnants of his papercut. The blood obscured some of the writing but what was legible seemed to corroborate the theory that the devil was at work. The writing was a looped handwritten script that looked oddly familiar to Merlin. Where had he seen that before? He took a picture of it before setting his phone down, closing the book and turning to Arthur. “So, I’ve had enough of all this devil worshipping business. It’s all I talk about in my classes at the moment so I need something less crazy so we’re gonna focus on you learning French. That cool?”

Arthur had been dreading any sort of mention of tutoring so he didn’t look too pleased but nodded his head anyway. Morgana had told him that phrase, maybe he could use it to impress Merlin? He thought that that sounded desperate and part of him hated it but he wanted to impress Merlin. “That’s fine. I actually learned a phrase earlier today but my pronunciation is probably garbage.”

“I’m sure it’s fine.” Merlin replied, pausing to take a sip of his water. 

Arthur took a moment to prepare himself and then spoke, his almost flawless pronunciation due to about fifteen minutes of repetition in his head. “Voulez vous couchez avec moi?”

The second Merlin heard those words come out of Arthur, several things happened. Merlin felt his face heat up, every inch of skin flushed a deep scarlet, and his eye widened. He found it hard to breathe and he choked on his water, setting the bottle down before coughing up a lung and then glancing down at the table so he wouldn’t have to look at Arthur’s face. There was no way that Arthur knew what that meant, right? “Do you… do you know what that means?”

Arthur had expected Merlin to be at least a little impressed that he had tried to learn something new in the language, not to turn redder than a beet and then proceed to choke on his water. He couldn’t deny that part of him liked seeing Merlin flustered, especially since it started at the tips of his adorable dumbo ears and spread into the rest of his face. The phrase clearly wasn’t innocent like Morgana had said it was but he knew it wasn’t a curse word so what was it? “Obviously I don’t. I wouldn’t say something just to make you blush like a schoolgirl. So what does it mean?”

“Will you sleep with me?” Merlin mumbled, his voice caught in his throat and barely above a whisper. Out of everything Merlin had expected to hear Arthur say, that was not one of them. 

“Merlin, I’m not gay. Why would I sleep with you? Just tell me the meaning of what I said.” Arthur muttered, both taken aback and mildly annoyed. Caught up in the never ending circle of being flustered, he had completely misinterpreted the question and replied in a condescending manner. 

Merlin had been flustered until he heard the tone of Arthur’s reply and then he glared, his temper flaring up. His nostrils flared and he tried to breathe out to calm down but it only succeeded in angering him even more. “I’m calling your bluff. There is no way in hell that you would ever wear my sweater just for the hell of it, especially for not as long as you have, and I see the way that you stare at me. You’re not slick, not in the slightest, and I know you think about me.”

“Sure I think about you, about how annoying you are and how much I can't stand you.” Arthur muttered back, leaning in closer to make his point known. There were too many emotions for him to focus on and indignation seemed to present front and center. “I think about your stupid face and your stupid grin and the stupid way you laugh.”

Merlin’s eyes narrowed even farther and he grinned triumphantly when Arthur admitted to thinking about him. That was as much confirmation as he needed to finally ascertain whether or not Arthur was into guys. “So you’re not gay then, you sure? I could kiss you now and you wouldn’t stop me.”

“Try it and I will end your life.” Arthur muttered, though his heart was racing a mile a minute.

Merlin raised an eyebrow, taking that as a challenge. He leaned in closer and felt his own eyes close, his heart racing as well. This was either going to end in a spectacular kiss or a slap to the face that would send him reeling. Either way it would be an experience. Time seemed to slow to a crawl and Merlin felt his lips barely brush Arthur’s. It could hardly be considered a kiss. 

Arthur hadn’t expected anything to come of it considering his threat, even if it was a weak one, so the fact that Merlin was leaning in said a lot. His own heart was thundering in his chest and his palms were sweaty, his throat soundly very dry. This was the closest he had ever come to being intimate with another guy and somehow he wasn’t pulling away in fear. If he hadn’t been sure of his potential attraction to men before, he was keenly aware of it now. He wanted this, he wanted Merlin to kiss him. The soft, barely there brush of Merlin’s lips against his sent a jolt of electricity through Arthur and he gasped quietly.

Before either could fully feel the other’s lips on theirs, a loud clearing of a throat rang out and Arthur pulled back hastily. His eyes were wide, pupils dilated with something akin to pleasure, but that vanished when he glanced in the direction of the noise. Morgana was standing there and she looked rather amused but she hadn’t been the one to clear her throat. The man behind her, with the rigid posture and stern look of disapproval, had been the one to clear his throat. It was Uther and he looked pissed.


	12. Plausible Deniability

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit, I've hit over 500 views on this! Thank you so much! I literally just started writing this as a way declutter my brain. Please leave comments and ideas or theories you have. I would love to see them!

The sudden sound of a clearing throat had snapped Arthur out of the bubble of emotions surrounding both him and Merlin, their unresolved tension dissipating into a whirlwind of anxiety as Arthur realized who had been standing there. How long had they been there, how much had Uther seen? It didn’t matter how much Uther had seen as Arthur’s instincts kicked in almost immediately, any softness that had lingered turned into rigidity and anger. It was a hard mask put in place to protect himself and Arthur wielded that emotion like a sword, turning it around at Merlin and driving the blade home. 

“What the hell are you doing? I told you that I didn’t want you to fucking kiss me!” Arthur spat, a harsh edge in his voice. “I’m not gay, I don’t fantasize about you. Got it? Learn your place and don’t try to convert me to your cause. Being into men is disgusting, how the hell am I even friends with you? Don’t ever try anything like that again!”

Merlin had been startled by the noise as well and frowned when Arthur pulled away so suddenly. It had been going so well, he’d even started to kiss back, but then there was nothing. There was a mental fog as Merlin adjusted to the loss of Arthur’s lips but the fog vanished when he noticed the angry expression Arthur had on his face and heard the fury in his tone. Where had this anger come from? And what was he going on about? Arthur had never been cruel like this, had never had an issue with Merlin’s sexuality before this, and now it was so vehement. Had he always felt this way? The more Arthur yelled at Merlin, the more confused and downtrodden Merlin got until he was damn near tears again. Who gave Arthur the right to act like that?

“I don’t- what are you going on about?” Merlin asked, confusion evident in his voice. “You just- this entire time you’ve… You kissed me back, you don’t have the right to treat me like this! You can’t just send me all these signals and then get angry when I act on them!”

“I sent you signals, is that what you think?” Arthur laughed haughtily. “I would never, NEVER, send signals to someone like you. You came onto me, you have ever since we met. It’s disgusting and I’m sick of it. You need to stop. I could press charges if I want to, this is assault. Do me a favour and just leave.”

“I-” Merlin protested, cutting himself off and dropping into a stony silence. He got it, he finally understood. Uther was there and as long as Arthur was afraid of his father, he would never be himself. It was so obvious, it always had been. Merlin felt like an idiot for not seeing it sooner, for letting himself be attracted to someone who would only hurt him. If Arthur wanted to act like that then so be it. “Fine, be that way. Keep my sweater, I don’t want it knowing that it’s been on you.”

Merlin picked up his bag and brushed past Arthur on his way out, tears stinging his eyes again. Arthur wasn’t worth crying over but Merlin couldn’t help it. Morgana had watched the catastrophe silently but fury had built up with each word out of Arthur's mouth. He was a hypocrite, a lousy fucking hypocrite, and she had had enough of his fuckery. Merlin was nothing but an absolute sweetheart, had been nothing but kind to everyone he had met, and seeing him brought to tears by her own brother broke something in her. Too long had she remained silent in fear of Uther’s retaliation but no more would she sit back and let him reign terror over her. No longer would she let her and her brother remain unaccountable for how their actions hurt others. She whirled around to face Arthur, her eyes were stony and cold.

“How. Fucking. Dare. You.” She spat, venom dripping from her mouth. “I have seen you act like a puppy dog around that boy since the first day that you met him, you have no right to act like it’s one-sided just because dad is suddenly around! That kiss was consensual, no way in hell did Merlin force himself on you! We both know that he would never do that to anyone, let alone someone struggling with their sexuality!”

Arthur looked taken aback with how angry Morgana was but Uther was standing there and he wasn’t about to let his supposed heterosexuality come under fire. “You didn’t see it all, you don’t know what you’re talking about. For weeks he’s been trying to get with me and I keep telling him no but he doesn’t listen to me. And what do you know about being hit on by a gay? Don’t you hit on enough straight girls to call yourself a useless lesbian unironically?”

Morgana felt her blood run cold when she heard lesbian leave Arthur’s lips. He had sworn on his life that he would never tell Uther about that, that it was Morgana’s business, and here he was using it in an argument to justify his own sexual crisis! Her fury morphed first into betrayal and then into a strange mixture of fear and sadness. Arthur had burned the bridge between them and she didn’t know if he would ever be able to come back from it. Morgana’s utter lack of response and the dead look in her eyes was enough to alert Arthur to the life changing mistake he had made and shame riddled him instantly. He wished he could take it back but he knew that it couldn’t be undone. Fortunately, or unfortunately, for Arthur, Uther spoke before anyone else could. 

“Morgana Elyana Pendragon, is that true?” Uther asked, his air as commanding and as judgmental as ever. He had always suspected that Morgana wasn’t exactly straight but had decided to deny it until he was presented with irrefutable evidence. Plausible deniability was as much a Pendragon trait as being a stubborn ass was. 

“You know what, yes. Yes it’s true.” She muttered, crossing her arms. This was heading towards an explosive confrontation and Morgana was more than prepared. “I’m a lesbian. I like girls and everything about them. How does it feel knowing that I’m your only daughter but also everything that you despise? Are you going to hit me, I can see your fists shaking. I bet this will make headlines. Just imagine seeing ‘Wealthy Pendragon heiress disowned by homophobic father’ plastered everywhere.”

“I guess we’ll just have to see what the headlines truly say.” Uther replied, his jaw clenched in fury. “As far as I'm concerned, I don’t know who you are. You are not my daughter.”

Morgana hadn't expected Uther to go that far so the words hit her like a bus. “I hope you’re happy with what you’ve done, Arthur.” She spat, shoving him to the side before storming out. The cold fall air hit her face and tears welled up in protest but she wiped them away, catching up with Merlin. “From now on we don’t associate with Arthur, got it?”  
“Not a problem.” Merlin muttered. His anger had passed and now it was replaced with a cold sort of emptiness, that unfeeling state where all he wanted to do was sit there like a lump and stare at a wall. “Gwaine has alcohol, we’re drinking.”

By the time they arrived at Merlin’s room, Gwaine had already broken out the alcohol and handed the two of them each a cup full. In the background, music from a spotify playlist called ‘fuck me gently with a chainsaw’ played. “I have the alcohol and the angry tunes going, You two need me to beat the ever loving shit out of Arthur? Because I am willing to go do that right now.”

“He’s not worth it.” They muttered at the same time, clinking their cups before downing their drinks. Merlin hadn’t had the chance to drink before so the acrid liquid burned the back of his throat and he coughed. The taste was awful, how did people enjoy drinking? Morgana was more of a seasoned drinker so it didn’t bother her as much and she helped herself to more. She would drown her feelings in the alcohol and then just sleep it off, that’s what she had been doing for years. 

“I wish you two had better luck with your lives, honestly. All I’ve seen Arthur do is serve himself and honestly, neither of you deserve that kind of negativity. I can’t speak on Gwen and Lancelot but I feel like they’re going to be the same as me.” Gwaine said, sipping his own drink. He didn’t want to be the only sober one of the bunch but he had to be sober enough to atleast get Morgana back to her dorm room. 

They drank for several hours and by the time 11 pm rolled around, Merlin wasn’t fit to even get out of his bed. Gwaine was just this side of drunk, sober enough to still stand but drunk enough to not have a single care in the whole world. Morgana could walk as well and seemed sober enough to get to her room by herself though Gwaine did see her off. She wasn’t sure exactly how it happened but Morgana didn’t end up at her room but instead just walking outside in the darkness. Finding herself at the fountain where Robert Harlow drowned himself, she kicked off her sandals and stepped into the fountain. The water lapped at her feet and she smiled up at the moon, feeling freer than she had in a long time. Sure, her relationship with her father and her brother had been destroyed, but she was finally able to live her life freely and be authentically herself. 

Thinking back to the archive room, her mind began to wander to the death of Robert Harlow. He had drowned in that fountain, probably the victim of some shadowy figure who guarded the university and all of its fucked up secrets. She wanted to know if ghosts were real so she began to call out into the night, daring the spirit to show up. Maybe he would appear and put her out of her misery, she didn’t know. Glancing down at her feet in the water, something began to appear.

At first it was misshapen and dark but features began to materialize. Dead glassy eyes stared up at Morgana and a twisted death grimace mocked her own shocked expression. Bloated skin swelled and swayed with the ripples in the water and Morgana felt a hand, a frozen chilly skeletal hand, reach through the water and grip at her ankle. It was Robert Harlow, it had to be. Her skin burned and sizzled under its touch and she screamed, stumbling and falling back towards the pavement as she tripped over the ridge of the fountain. 

Morgana expected to meet the pavement but what she met instead was a pair of warm hands and arms wrapped around her waist. Had she not been so terrified, the encounter would have been romantic. Looking up to see the face of her saviour, she was met with perhaps the most beautiful woman she had ever seen; deep brown eyes curtained by curly blonde hair and soft lips curled into a smile. The woman looked familiar but Morgana could hardly tell where she knew her from. “Are you often in the habit of saving fallen drunk girls?” Morgana quipped, her words slightly slurred.

“Are you often in the habit of falling out of fountains?” The woman grinned, helping Morgana to her feet. “You look like you need some help back to your room, where are you staying?”

“What I need is less help back to my room and more a pretty woman to make out with. Know anywhere where I might be able to find one?” Morgana hummed. The woman was older than her, she knew that, but she hardly cared. All she wanted was to forget about her troubles for a night. 

“I think I can help with that.” the woman replied, helping Morgana walk. 

Morgana hardly remembered the walk over, only that she was most certainly in a room nicer than her own. The act itself was incredible as always, nothing but roaming hands and tender words whispered in moans; each exhalation a quiet whisper of worship to the other’s body. Never had Morgana loved so fiercely, so full of reckless abandon, and never had she felt so gratified as she did that night. She lay next to the woman, arm draped lazily over her middle and face buried in the crook of her neck as she slept without a care in the world. As she slept, the woman stretched out her arm and grabbed her phone. She unlocked it and sent a simple text.

~It’s done~

~

Gwaine returned not long after he had seen Morgana off and he began to clean up, tossing out the empty cups and putting all of the alcohol away. He knew Merlin would have a wicked hangover the next day and while part of him felt bad, he also knew that Merlin needed a night to just let loose and not think about his responsibilities for once. Tucking the last of the bottles away, he opened a water bottle and helped Merlin sit up before handing it to him. “Come on, you need to drink some water or you’ll feel like death tomorrow.”

Merlin looked over and smiled at Gwaine before sipping the water, setting the half empty bottle down. “Gwaine, you’re such a nice guy.” He slurred. “You’re not a rude person, you wouldn't make me feel bad for trying to kiss you. Bet I could do it now…”

“Merlin, I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” Gwaine sighed, though he wasn’t completely opposed to the idea. “You’re upset about Arthur and you’re drunk, you’re clearly not thinking straight. I think you need to go to bed.”

“Good to know that apparently everyone I fancy is completely opposed to being with me. I thought Arthur wanted me but then he freaked out and I just- Am I not good enough for anyone? All my life I've never been able to keep anyone. I tried dating Gwen but it went bad cuz she’s a girl and then really bad things happened with my high school crush and then Arthur is- well, I don’t know what Arthur. Besides an asshole.” He muttered. Merlin didn’t know if he was ranting or complaining but he had a captive audience and planned on using it to his advantage. “Do you think I’m attractive? Be honest. I can take it.”

“Yes Merlin, you’re attractive. You have nice blue eyes and great cheekbones and you just radiate such a kind energy that everyone you meet is drawn to you.” Gwaine sighed. It was just easier to go along with Merlin, to feed his ego and help rebuild what had been shattered. Besides, Merlin was attractive and Gwaine’s own drunken state meant his inhibitions were much lower than usual. “Look, I know where you’re going with this and it isn’t a good idea. You’re not the kind of person who can just casually hook up with someone and then not catch feelings.I don’t know if you understand what you’re asking of me here.”

Merlin sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Gwaine was right, of course he was, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. “I know that this is just gonna complicate things more but Gwaine, please… I just want to feel like someone wants me.”

Gwaine took a moment to mull over things. It would help Merlin, they would both end up satisfied, and it’s not like Merlin would remember it the next day. There wasn’t really a downside to it. 

“Fine.”

~

Once Morgana and Merlin had stormed off, Arthur had been left with Uther. Uther looked displeased with the entire situation and pursed his lips. “I’m glad that you had the sense to out your traitorous sister to me. I would hate to leave that snake any part of my business and to spare her any affection at all.”

Arthur only nodded, his fear of Uther slowly transforming into a bitter resentment of himself for betraying two people he cared about to save his own skin. What was done couldn’t be undone though, so he had no choice but to move on.

“Why are you here? I thought you weren’t supposed to visit for a few more weeks.”

“I was contacted by the university president, professor Cenred. He’s explained to me that you and your group of friends have been sticking your noses into places where they don’t belong. I simply came to say that you need to stop. You’re jeopardizing your position at this university as well as my role with the board and my business standing. I will not have you turn out to be a failure like your sister. Do not fail me Arthur, do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.”


	13. Oh Shit, Oh Fuck, This is Bad

Sunlight streamed through the sheer curtains and found its way directly through Morgana’s eyelids and into her eyes. Groaning in annoyance, she ran a hand over her face and began to wake herself. There were a few things that she noticed. Firstly, the room she was in and the bed that she was in were not her own. The bed was a queen and Morgana pulled the white sheets around her body as she sat up, drinking in the minimalist aesthetic of everything around her. At least she had had good taste in choosing someone with a room that wasn’t awful. Now Morgana was curious to see who she had actually slept with. She remembered bits and pieces of the encounter but not enough to see if she had made a mistake.

The woman was half uncovered by the sheets and her blonde hair obscured her face. Morgana couldn’t deny that the woman had a body like a model, flowing curves that dipped and rose like hills in the countryside. Marks bloomed across her milky skin, evidence of the previous night's activities, and Morgana looked almost proud. There was something eerily familiar though and Morgana felt a tingling sense of danger in the back of her mind, as if to say that it had been a mistake. Gingerly Morgana peeled back the curtain of hair to reveal the face of the woman in bed with her.

Oh shit, oh fuck, this was bad. This was beyond bad. 

Once the initial shock had worn off her face, Morgana rolled out of the bed and hastily threw her clothes on. She couldn’t believe who it was and what she had done, it was unthinkable. This mistake could change everything, it could completely jeopardize her chances at the university. She prayed that the other woman wouldn’t be able to pick her out of a crowd, that she would never think of that night again. Morgana unlocked the door and glanced back one more time, eyes widening when she saw the woman looking over at her. That was it, her life was over. Before either could say anything, Morgana fled from the room and into the bright light of the campus quad.

Aware of her disheveled appearance but not caring, Morgana rushed into her dorm building. She needed to talk to someone, preferably Gwen, about all of this. Scratch that, the entire group needed to convene. Something was going horribly wrong, the universe was turning against them. Morgana sent a text to the chat to let them know to meet at the café and then headed there herself. 

What woke Merlin wasn’t the sunlight streaming through the window but instead the sound of his phone vibrating on his desk. He yawned and rubbed his eyes, dimly aware of a dull pounding in the back of his skull. Maybe he shouldn’t have drank so much the previous night. Expecting to roll over and have space to stretch out, Merlin seemed confused when he met with a mass of flesh. Why was there someone else in his bed?

Merlin rolled onto his side to try and get a better look at who it was and he came face to face with Gwaine. What the hell was Gwaine doing in his bed? Having shifted slightly, Merlin became keenly aware of the fact that he was completely naked under his bedsheets. He felt his stomach drop but dared not peek at Gwaine, having a sneaking suspicion that he would be in a state of undress as well. It didn't matter that Merlin said nothing as Gwaine cracked open an eye to look at him, seeming to be in better faculties than Merlin. “Morning sunshine, you good?” He asked as he sat up, reaching for his clothing.

“Did we- did I sleep with you last night?” Merlin mumbled, the tips of his ears and his cheeks red with a mortified type of disbelief. He wasn’t that kind of guy, he never just had a one night stand, especially not with one of his friends. Sure, he could do a lot worse than Gwaine, but the politics of this could irreversibly change the dynamic of the tight knit group they had formed. “I can’t remember anything after getting back to the room.”

“Oh yeah, we definitely slept together.” Gwaine replied as he rolled out of the bed, hopping into his pants. “You and Morgana came here to drink after Arthur fucked you both over. She left around eleven or something to go back to her room and then you got all depressed, thinking you weren’t good enough for anyone and all that bullshit. I wasn’t gonna sleep with you but you looked so upset and I was also pretty out of it so it happened. It was great, you’re pretty good in bed, so I’d be down for it again.”

Merlin felt his blush deepen and he turned to pull his own clothes off, thinking in silence. He knew that he thought Gwaine was hot but he didn’t want to date him. Could he really do a friends with benefits thing though? Or was that too out of reach for him? It didn’t matter, he’d deal with it later. Glancing at his phone he read the text and sighed, wincing when he stood and stretched. “Morgana’s having a crisis, she wants the group to meet at the café. We should probably get going.”  
~  
The last to arrive at the café were Gwen and Lancelot. The two of them had spent the entire night talking in her dorm room and they seemed no worse for wear, laughing and grinning at each other like they had a million inside jokes. Gwen glanced over at Merlin and smiled, though it was still a tad forced, before she sat down. “So, all three of you look like garbage. What happened?” Gwen asked. 

“I’d say a lot judging by their body language. They should probably take turns so Merlin, you go first.” Lancelot said. He could see how tense Morgana was which wasn't uncommon but was certainly uncomfortable and intimidating. Gwaine was Gwaine, he looked as laid back and easygoing as awful. He assumed that they had been drinking and Gwaine’s bedhead was certainly an indicator that he had gotten laid. Merlin was objectively the worst out of them all, his posture stiff and rigid. He looked almost pained and clearly had a hangover. Lancelot wasn’t sure if it was a hickey he saw or a bruise, (Merlin was rather clumsy) but he didn’t like it regardless. 

“Well, Arthur and I went to the archive room to look back at the book since Gwen thinks that she got attacked by the ghost of Annalise Carlyle. We found that poem that talks about the founder summoning the devil and sacrificing people. I don’t really believe it but it fits with whatever the hell is going on right now. Then Arthur spouts off this phrase which Morgana taught him, thanks so much by the way for that, it really went super well, and somehow I end up kissing him.”

“You kissed Arthur? Gwen asked, almost grinning. Naturally she had no idea what had happened and was genuinely excited for Merlin. “Isn’t that what you've been waiting for?”

“Would’ve been fine if he hadn’t pushed me away when his dad cleared his throat. So he starts screaming and yelling at me, tells me he didn’t want the kiss which is a lie because he definitely kissed back and that I’m disgusting and all of that jazz. I told him to basically leave me the hell alone and then I left. I can’t believe him, honestly.”

“I am going to beat his ass.” Gwen muttered, eyes narrowed. “He doesn't have the right to treat you like that.”

“Looks like you can team up with Gwaine and do it.” Merlin muttered. There was a tremor in his voice at the mention of Gwaine’s name and both Morgan and Lancelot picked up on it. Morgana drew the conclusion first based on how Merlin was sitting with the unconscious lean towards Gwaine and Gwaine’s infamous bedhead. 

“You two slept together?!” She exclaimed, eyes wide with shock. “Oh my god…”

Merlin glanced down at the coffee table, suddenly finding the wood grain pattern fascinating. He hadn’t expected anyone to pick up on it and he certainly didn’t want to talk about it. There was nothing wrong with what had happened, Merlin knew that, but it was so out of character for him that it almost made him ashamed. “Yes. I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s move on please.”

While Morgana seemed shocked, as did Lancelot, Gwen didn’t seem surprised. She knew that Arthur would only end up hurting Merlin, she had just figured it would happen later than it did. What she hadn’t counted on was Merlin hooking up with Gwaine. It was so incredibly out of left field but she was kind of glad it happened. Gwaine was a good guy, he wouldn’t intentionally hurt Merlin, and if he gave Merlin some comfort and support then that would be even better. Besides, Merlin’s romantic life really wasn’t any of her business.

“Okay, we won’t ask about it. Moving on, Morgana you called us here. What’s going on?”

“So, there’s two things that are both kinda related.” Morgana began, running a hand through her hair as she sighed. “So I ended up at the fountain last night after I left Merlin and Gwaine’s which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s just what happened kind of freaks me out. I was thinking about Robert Harlow and his supposed suicide, how it’s all apparently connected to the founding of the university and some conspiracy they uncovered and I swear to god that I saw his face in the water and felt his hand on my ankle.”

“You’re saying that you felt a ghost hand grab your ankle?” Merlin echoed, eyebrows raised. It sounded so far fetched and all this talk of ghosts was ridiculous. The supernatural didn’t actually exist. “You were drunk, it was probably a hallucination.”

“I would’ve agreed with you if it weren’t for this.” Morgana replied. She rolled up the cuff of her mom jeans in order to show them what she had discovered while putting on her shoes that morning. Wrapped around her ankle was an unmistakable handprint. The imprint looked like it had been seared into her skin by some kind of chemical, the actual handprint a deep angry red with pockets of morphed blisters and the skin around it pulled taught. 

“Morgana, that’s a second degree burn. You need to get that checked out!” Gwen protested, getting off her chair to kneel down and check out the injury. She could tell that Morgana was in a great deal of pain and likely masking it. “That looks like a chemical burn too. What the hell were you doing last night?”

“I went to the fountain after drinking, felt the ghost grab my ankle, and then I fell. Some woman caught me and I hooked up with her. That’s where the second problem is.” Morgana muttered, hissing in pain when Gwen brushed the injury.

“I don’t see how sleeping with some woman is a problem.” Gwaine interjected. “You got laid, that should be a good thing.”

“It’s a good thing until you wake up the next morning and realize you slept with a fucking professor, one that you have for two fucking classes!” Morgana replied, her voice raising. That drew some attention so she quieted down, taking a moment to try and quell the panic rising in her. “It wouldn’t be as bad if it wasn’t professor Morgause, professor Cenred’s fucking wife. The fact that they’re also at the center of this whole conspiracy isn’t exactly an appealing factor either. Let’s not forget the fact that my fucking brother outed me to our father so now I’m estranged from my entire family.”

“You… oh shit, that is bad.” Gwaine mumbled, clearly at a loss for words. That had even stunned him into silence. The others hardly knew what to say and an awkward silence settled down until it was broken.

“Okay, so just to recap everything so we’re all on the same page.” Lancelot said. “Merlin and Arthur kissed but we all want to beat Arthur because he freaked out on Merlin and outed Morgana. Gwaine and Merlin hooked up for reasons that we’ll never understand. Morgana was attacked by what could potentially be the ghost of a former student who committed suicide and she slept with a professor that’s more than likely involved in a conspiracy spanning more than 18 years. Oh my god.” The group all nodded in agreement. The entire thing was ridiculous when it was summarized but everything was true. 

All of this had started because of that book and it was enough to warrant suspicion from every member of the group. 

“I feel like we need to attack this head on, actually get to the bottom of whatever messed up scooby doo story our lives have become.” Gwen said. “Which means we all need to be responsible for certain things if we’re going to get to the bottom of this. Merlin, I feel like you should look into the history of the university and maybe check out the cult angle. Say it's for a research paper if anyone asks any questions. Morgana, see what you can find out about Cenred and Morgause since they seem to be the common link between now and eighteen years ago. I’ll take a look at all of the suicides and disappearances on campus because I honestly start a placement soon and have like zero time to do anything. Gwaine, can you look into the ghosts and supernatural stuff? As for you Lancelot, there isn’t much left. Maybe just keep an eye on Arthur since you two are roommates. Make sure he knows how much we all hate him.”

With all of that in mind, the group broke off. There was a conspiracy and they would get to the bottom of it.


	14. It's... A Ghost!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woo double update in honour of procrastination

As the second sunset of November slipped into oblivion, replaced by the light of the moon hanging in the sky overhead, the student populace of Avalon University slept without a care in the world. Some dreamt of finding their soulmate while others dreamt of finding their life’s calling and still others dreamt of all manners and flights of fancy. But not Merlin Emrys. 

Merlin did not have the luxury of peaceful nights dreaming of a life with a white picket fence and a dog but instead the misfortune to experience the other end of the spectrum. He had never had memorable dreams, good or bad, as a child so this experience was far from normal for him. These nightmares were more than just nightmares to him, more than just a dream of being trapped in a stopped elevator or falling from a cliff towards storming waters below, they were night terrors. They reached out with talons made of wispy smoke and dug deep into his psyche, dragging him down until he awoke with heart palpitations and tears in his eyes. 

He supposed it had started the day they read from that leather bound book, the day he had found out about his father. The aura of the book was hard to describe, a sort of omnipresent malevolence that seemed to invade every aspect of his life from that moment on. His blood had spilled onto its yellow pages and ever since that moment, the book seemed to haunt his life. It was brought up in class by both Cenred and Kilgarrah, it appeared in his dreams, and it had been the key to all of his research concerning the potential for a cult on the grounds that ran everything behind the scenes. It had only been a day since the meeting and Morgana’s experience but he couldn’t seem to get it out of his head. There was no logical explanation for the burn on her ankle but ghosts weren’t real either… So what the hell was going on?

His research hadn’t made anything clearer but only reinforced what he already knew. The university had been founded a hundred years ago and aside from the documents concerning the purchase of the land and various estimates for contractors, there was very little to go off of. There was the poem claiming that the founder had been in league with the devil but that was just a legend, it couldn’t possibly be true. Merlin had isolated himself in the library on that Saturday to conduct his research and had left at ten after midnight, his arms full of additional readings for both his classes and the conspiracies. His mind was awash with conspiracies and theories about the university and he was only dimly aware of someone following behind him. Thinking it was only another student, he simply elected to ignore it and continue on his way. When the feeling didn’t go away, he stopped and turned around. 

“Who’s there?” He called nervously, his heart beginning to race. There was no reply and he couldn't see anyone in the darkness. He told himself to calm down, that he had just been reading too many spooky things and that there was no need to freak himself out. Taking a deep breath, Merlin turned around and continued the trek back to his room. The feeling didn’t leave as he had hoped it would, but continued to grow stronger until it almost overwhelmed him. Merlin felt his chest tighten and then he was struggling to catch his breath, the fear overwhelming his other senses. Goosebumps appeared on his skin as he felt the temperature dip drastically and then slowly he felt an icy hand creep onto his face. Unable to move, he was forced to endure.

A voice rang out next to Merlin’s ear, sharp and raspy. He could feel the sour breath on his skin and the fingernails digging into his cheek but it was too light, not heavy like flesh and bone. He reached back to try and feel for any clothing the unseen assailant was wearing but his hand passed through the air. It sent chills through him. “Find me. Find us. You alone can set us free.”

“W-who are you?” Merlin managed to stammer out, his hands shaking and his throat so dry it hurt. “What do you want from me?”

“The counselor, he knows.” the voice replied. There was a sharp stinging pain before the pressure vanished and Merlin found he was able to move again. He was shaking like a leaf and he turned around quickly to see who it had been. There was no one there. That was it, that was enough to scare Merlin. He rose to his feet and practically ran back to his residence, his heart hammering in his chest though he wasn’t sure if it was from exertion or fear. 

The group had planned to meet in Merlin’s room to discuss their findings and Merlin was the last to arrive, eyes wide and paler than a corpse. All eyes turned to meet his and Gwen broke the silence. “Merlin, your face. You’re bleeding..”

Merlin raised his eyebrow and set his books down before bringing a hand up to his cheek, his fingers coming away stained red with blood. Scattered around his face were five crescent shaped indents that he knew were from fingernails, that were from the hand that he had felt on his face. “I- uh, something happened.”

The group made room for him to sit and he sat down on his bed, accepting the damp cloth to wash off his face. The colour was slowly returning to his face but his hands hadn’t stopped shaking so he reached for Aithusa to hold. That stopped his shaking and seemed to help calm some of his nerves. They waited patiently for him to explain what had happened, every face full of concern. 

“So I did my research today which was totally fine. We basically already know everything that I was able to find out though I think I might have found a copy of the founder’s journal which could be helpful. I went to leave and I swear someone was following me so I turned around and asked if anyone was there. It was too dark to see and there was no answer so I kept walking but I swear there was someone there. I felt this hand on my face and then someone whispered in my ear. They want me to find them and apparently one of the counselor's knows more than he’s letting on. I swear to god I felt behind me while the hand was on my face and there was nothing, no one there!”

“Merlin, I get that you’re freaked out but you need to calm down.” Lancelot said calmly, getting up to stretch. “You’re the third one of us who’s been attacked by something which means that not only is it a pattern but that we can’t ignore the fact that there is a very possibility that there is something supernatural going on here.”

Merlin didn’t want to acknowledge the possibility of the supernatural but knew he had no choice and sighed. There wasn’t a lot of room on the bed but he stretched out anyway and set his head in the first lap he could find; Gwaine’s. He didn’t remember much about their hookup but he had decided that since they had done that, he could be affectionate as a friend without worry. That and Gwaine just had a sort of calming presence. “Fine, ghosts are possibly real and haunting us. This has to do with the book and with the professors and whatever my dad uncovered with the others eighteen years ago. Please tell me that the rest of you found something useful so that we didn't just waste like an entire day.”

“Well, there’s a lot more suicides and disappearances than just the three that we know about.” Gwen began. “This was insanely hard to find, the university’s trying to keep all of this covered up. I’m quite certain that I could be expelled now that I know all of this. Basically, there's at least six suicides and or disappearances that happen every single year. Some of them are legacy kids like Morgana but some of them are scholarship kids like Merlin and I. I haven’t been able to find any links between them yet but I’m working on it.” 

“That fits with the poem from the history book, that the six are sacrificed for power and knowledge.” Morgana sighed. She had a feeling they would all be staying over so she moved off of the one bed so Gwen and Lancelot could sleep on it, letting Gwaine and Merlin have the other one. “I tried to find out what I could about Cenred and Morgause but I couldn’t find out that much. I did find an article that had a picture with Morgause in it. There was some sort of fire on a religious compound and I think she was among one of the women rescued. I can't find anything on Cenred though and I’ve been trying.”

“Maybe he’s secretly like an immortal or something.” Gwaine joked. “Maybe he’s actually the founder or something. Wouldn't that just be ridiculous?”

“Not really.” Merlin muttered, closing his eyes. He was exhausted and wanted to sleep so he did his best to tune out the conversation and eventually drifted off. The others traded theories for maybe a half hour more before they turned off the lights and tried to sleep as well.


	15. The Outlaw

_Stone surrounded her on all sides, an echoing antechamber filled with a sense of cold foreboding. The tiles dug into the bare skin of her knees, blood staining them red and making Morgana dizzy. There were no windows in this chamber, only moonlight filtering through a hole in the roof. The light shone down and cast shadows on the walls and floors, ghostly shapes dancing and yipping with delight._

_Morgana’s hair was matted and tangled, wefts of it trapped within the iron grip of a hooded figure. Her shirt was stained and dirty, sleeves ripped and torn almost clean off. Holes riddled her jeans and somewhere along the line she had lost one of her shoes, the sole of her bare foot scraped bloody and raw. Her head hung low and when yanked back by her hair, she came face to face with another hooded figure. This figure ran a hand along her jaw, tracing over the split in her lip and her broken nose before humming in satisfaction at her swollen broken nose._

_“You’re such a pretty thing, it’s such a shame that you have to die.” They sighed, sounding almost annoyed. “I had hoped it would be you, my little outlaw, ever since I first lay my eyes upon you. There’s such a spark in you, such a flame of anger that you’ve had burning for so long. Tell me, my precious outlaw, who do you hate so much? Who fuels your fire?” Morgana glanced up at the figure and narrowed her eyes before spitting at them, spitting when her split lip reopened. The figure paused, wiped the spit from their robe, and knelt down before backhanding Morgana across the face and laughing when she cried out. “I suggest you tell me, child.”_

_“My father and my mother.” She rasped, her voice cracking and hoarse for days without water and use._

_“Poor child, forsaken by those who were to protect her from all of the evil in the world. How pitiful.” The figure laughed. They paused and ran their hands over several sets of tools ranging from corkscrews to wires to flamethrowers and everything in between. “A mother who abandoned you at 7 years old and a father who abandoned you at 18 when he knew your true colours. Your mother, bless Igraine’s soul, was such a kind woman. She could have tempered your rage, molded you into a prim and proper young lady. Had she lived, so would you. But Uther drove her to her death and now he has driven you to yours. It’s quite ironic, truly it is.''_

_“Don’t you dare talk about my mother!” Morgana yelled. She wrenched free of the figure holding her and lunged for the other person. The combination of dehydration and weakness made her stumble and the figure threw her to the ground, practically cackling when Morgana’s arm crunched beneath her._

_“You foolish child. Today you have the chance to be part of something greater and you keep trying to ruin it. Your family may not care and your friends may have abandoned you but we will immortalize you. You’ve given your life so that he may continue his. Truly it is a noble sacrifice.”_

_Morgana tried to fight again but was dragged back to her knees by her hair and forced to look up at the face of her tormentor. She couldn’t begin to describe what she saw underneath the hood, she just began to scream. Struggling and screaming made it easy for the piano wire to be slipped around her neck and soon blood began to pour from her neck, soaking her shirt and dripping onto the tiles. It didn’t take long for her screams to turn into gargles for help, blood leaking out of her mouth and tears out of her eyes, and soon after the screams became silence. The figure tightened the piano wire even more before pressing their boot to Morgana’s back and kicking her corpse face down onto the floor. Her glassy eyes reflected the moon and despite the garish scream frozen on her face, Morgana looked peaceful._

_~_

Merlin woke up with a cry of Morgana’s name leaving his lips. His heart was hammering in his chest and he was clutching Gwaine’s arm so hard the other boy looked like he was in pain. What the hell was that dream? Why had he seen that? His eyes darted over in the darkness to seek Morgana out and he relaxed slightly when he saw her asleep in the chair. She was still alive, it was fine. It had just been a dream.

He slipped out of Gwaine’s grip and padded over to Morgana, inspecting her to make sure she was actually alive. He could see the rise and fall of her chest and knew she was alive, knew that she hadn’t met the fate she had in his dream. Merlin covered her with a blanket and left a note for the group before slipping into a jacket and stepping out of the apartment. The clock on the wall read 4 am meaning he had been asleep for 3 hours. It wasn’t enough but he knew that he wouldn’t be getting any more that night. Merlin wanted to clear his head and trekked down the stairs, warily eyeing every dark corner and checking behind him. He wasn’t going to risk someone following him again or someone attacking him. Did he realize that he probably looked paranoid, yes, but it was better safe than sorry. There was a bench outside of the building under a streetlamp that Merlin sat on, closing his eyes momentarily and inhaling deeply to calm his nerves.

So he had been attacked by what, in all likelihood, was a ghost, and was now having vivid dreams about his friends dying. It was great, totally what he wanted to deal with on top of classes and everything with Arthur. Merlin couldn’t deny that there was something supernatural at work, the evidence was too overwhelming. To deny not only Gwen and Morgana’s experiences but his own as well was a level of delusion that he wasn’t comfortable stooping too. But enough about the ghosts, he didn’t want to freak himself out even more than he already had. Merlin decided to focus on what had happened with Arthur in the library.

Merlin knew that Arthur had been giving him signals, even if he was so unsure of his sexuality, and he knew that he had read them correctly. Arthur had started to kiss back, Merlin knew that was a fact again, and things would have gone very differently had Uther not shown up. Uther was the root of the problem, that's what it was. The man looked rigid and stiff, a domineering figure that held absolute sway over his children. He would rule with an iron fist and Merlin could tell the kind of reaction that Uther would have had had Arthur owned up to his feelings; it would have ended in him disowning both of his children, not just Morgana. Merlin understood that Arthur didn’t want to disappoint his father but that was no excuse to have said the things he did. It would have been fine if Arthur had simply said that he didn’t want to kiss Merlin but calling him disgusting and swearing at him wasn’t acceptable in the slightest. Despite Merlin's outrage at Arthur, he felt so horribly for Arthur at the same time. Hiding such a big part of yourself wasn’t easy, especially if there was no support system in place. Maybe he should reach out, see how Arthur is doing? Or he could let Arthur reach out but that seemed incredibly unlikely. It didn’t matter what happened because Merlin heard his name being called and he looked up just in time to see Arthur. Forgiving Arthur in theory was one thing but seeing his face filled Merlin with an uncontestable rage. Okay, maybe forgiving Arthur so soon would be impossible.

“Can I help you?” Merlin asked bluntly, crossing his arms over his chest and turning on the bench so that Arthur wouldn’t be able to sit down.

“Well, I was just going to find you in your room so we could talk but I suppose we can do it here too.” Arthur said. He had expected Merlin to be angry but this, this level of anger was surprising to him. ”I know that I can’t just say sorry and be forgiven right away and I don’t expect that either. I’m aware that what I did violates so many rules and destroys any sort of friendship we had established but I want to make it up to you. I never should have yelled at you and called you disgusting for something that we both clearly wanted. I am sorry, genuinely sorry, and I want to make it right with both you and Morgana.”

“Well, I don’t honestly think Morgana will ever forgive you and it sounds cruel but I don’t blame her. She trusted you enough to tell you that she wasn’t straight AND to help you try and figure out your own sexuality. You yourself know that she was afraid of coming out to your father because she knew that he would disown her for something that she literally can’t help. I understand that you panicked and that you're afraid of your father but that is no excuse to out Morgana without her consent. You took away her autonomy because you were too selfish to face up to the truth about yourself and now you’re going to have to live with it.”

The more Arthur heard, the more the gravity of what he had done sank in and the more he realized that it would be near impossible to ever have a relationship with Morgana again. It would take a lot more than a simple sorry to make it up to her and a lot more than a simple sorry to make it up to Merlin. “I shouldn’t have lied to my father, I know that. But this isn’t easy for me, Merlin. I don’t have a parent who is going to accept that part of me. I have gone years knowing that if I so much as have a hair out of place, that my father will crucify me.”

“Why does it matter what he thinks about you? You don’t owe him anything, especially not if he’s been so horrible to you and Morgana over the years.” Merlin sighed. “You need to accept the fact that you are your own person and that you can’t please everyone all the time. Now listen, I am still incredibly angry at you for what you did to me and what you’ve done to Morgana but I am willing to give you a chance if you prove that you can grow and change.”

“What do I have to do?” Arthur asked quickly. He hadn’t been away from the group for long, three days at the most, but it had done a number on him. Being away from them had truly shown him how isolated he was and, though he hated to admit it, he had begun to slip back into his old ways. That old Arthur was awful, he didn’t want to be that person any more.

“Firstly, you need to apologize to Morgana. Don’t make any excuses, simply admit that what you did was wrong and that you want to make up for it. She’ll probably hit you but eventually she will warm back up to you. Secondly, you need to be honest with yourself. Figure out if you actually are bisexual and once you figure that out, you need to tell your father. You won’t truly be able to accept yourself and begin to make amends until you confront the reason that you’ve been in the closet for so long. Lastly, you need to help us with what we’re working on. Remember that book the night I found out about my father? Well it’s opened up a conspiracy involving the supernatural and the disappearances around campus as well as with professors Cenred and Morgause.”

Arthur nodded his head, glancing back at Merlin towards the end of his talk. “My father basically confirmed that Cenred is directly involved. He threatened me, told me to back off of whatever it was we were looking into. So there’s clearly a link in there somewhere. We’ll get to the bottom of it, I swear.”


	16. The Counselor Knows

When Gwaine and Morgana woke from their slumber some time around 10 am on the Sunday, they both looked at the empty space on the bed where Merlin had been when they fell asleep. A bright yellow sticky note replaced him and Gwaine grabbed it, scanning over it before shaking his head and sitting up. “He went out last night and apparently he’s meeting his counselor right about now. I’m surprised I didn’t feel him leave.”

“You two were all cuddled up so I’m surprised too.” Morgana grinned. “He covered me with a blanket last night too apparently. Honestly, he’s so sweet. I bet he’s going to come back with coffees for everyone.”

“Probably. Take a look at the two lovebirds.” Gwaine grinned, nodding his head in the direction of Lancelot and Gwen. The two of them were curled up on Merlin’s bed and Gwen had her face buried in Lancelot’s shoulder, her arms tucked in between them. Lancelot had his arms wrapped around Gwen and his nose nestled firmly in her hair. 

“I’m glad she’s happy, I won’t lie. That and they’re literally perfect for each other.” Morgana said. She was genuinely happy but she would be lying if she said that she wasn’t also incredibly bitter at the fact that everyone else seemed to have found someone else. “You and Merlin are pretty cute too, even if you’re both just super affectionate and not actually dating.”

Gwaine shrugged his shoulders in response. It didn’t really matter to him if he and Merlin were affectionate or not, he was like that with everyone. “Moving on, how are you doing? I don’t think any of us asked you about it yesterday. I mean, I can’t imagine what you’re going through but I’ll give you the same offer I gave Merlin. I will willingly beat Arthur for being a douchebag.”

“If anyone is going to beat him, it’ll be me. He’s the one who fucked me over just to save his own ass.” Morgana muttered. “I get why he did it but it still isn’t right and the fact that he hurt Merlin too is not something I’m going to easily forgive. Maybe he’ll show up here, that would be perfect. I wouldn’t even have to move, I could just clock him good.”  
Gwaine couldn't help but grin at the idea and almost hoped the universe would allow her that opportunity. Before Gwaine had the chance to even think of a reply, there was a knock at the door. They turned to each other and Morgana grinned as she rose to her feet, dropping the blanket before opening the door.

It was Arthur

~

After Merlin’s conversation with Arthur that morning he had returned to his room and written on another note that he had a counselor’s appointment and wouldn’t be there when everyone else woke up. He had been wracking his brain ever since he had heard the voice whisper that the counselor knew. Who was the counselor and what did he know? Unable to get the experience out of his head, he had found a list of every faculty member at the university and then narrowed it down to the group of counselors. There were about six of them, two who were men, and one who happened to be his own counselor: Gaius. It was the easiest avenue of inquiry but Merlin had to be careful so that he wouldn’t let too much on and potentially get himself in even more trouble. 

The office hadn’t changed since the previous visit, the plants still on the shelf and the photos hanging on the wall. Merlin took a moment to examine the photos when he stepped in, his brows creasing in a frown. There was a photo in the center that made his stomach drop. There was a young woman in the center of the picture who was smiling brightly at the camera and she had her arms around two young men who looked about the same age. One man was tall and thin, practically the spitting image of Merlin and he knew almost instantly that it was his father and the other was shorter and more shrewd looking. It was obvious to Merlin that the others were Annalise Carlyle and Robert Harlow. The discovery put a sour taste in his mouth, why would some counselor just have this photo in his office? 

“Ah, Merlin, right on time for our appointment I see.” Gaius smiled, shuffling into the office. He had been thinking about Merlin ever since their initial meeting and his suspicions had just been confirmed. The boy had looked immensely familiar, his mannerisms resurrecting a ghost of the past that Gaius would rather have forgotten existed. 

“Naturally,” Merlin mumbled. “I was just looking at your photo wall and this one caught my eye. My father is in it, did you know him well?”

“It’s best that you sit down.” Gaius muttered, closing the door before he took his seat. The tension in the air was rising steadily and Gaius knew he had to be cautious. There was a line that couldn’t be crossed and already he was on thin ice. It was that damn picture. Gaius knew he should have gotten rid of it but he hadn’t been able to bear parting with it, the sentimentality and the reminder it brought him were too great. Oh well, it wasn’t like he could turn back any more. “I did know him, I knew all of the students from that year that took their own lives. Those three were involved with Cenred’s research at the time, as well as being a part of the same study group that I was tasked to look after. You’re Balinor’s son, correct?”

“I am.” Merlin confirmed. He could see how skittish Gaius appeared, the subtle glances over his shoulder doing nothing to assuage Merlin’s worries about how precarious the situation had become. Gaius did know something and it was something of magnitude. 

“Your father’s death was a suicide, that I will confirm for you right now. I can only imagine what wild conspiracies you have running through your head so I’ll do my best to help you rid yourself of them.”

“His was a suicide but the other two weren’t; there’s no way Annalise Carlyle slit her wrists and fell perfectly face first into that book and there’s no way that Robert Harlow, captain of the varsity swim team for the year, drowned in a shallow fountain. My best guess, they found out something Cenred didn't want them to find out and they were murdered for it. Supposedly my dad got more unhinged and conspiratorial before it happened which I think fits. I know that it has to do with the legend of the founding of the university and the supposed secret society that exists but I’m not sure what.”

Hearing how much Merlin had put together only made the nausea quell in Gaius’ stomach and he knew that the meeting had to end. “That’s quite a wild theory you have there, young man. This is best kept to yourself.” He said as he stood, hurriedly pushing Merlin out of the room but not before slipping a piece of paper into his pocket. 

Merlin seemed perturbed by the entire encounter and took a moment to collect himself and his thoughts before making his way back to his room, stopping to pick up coffees for the group on the way. Gaius had all but confirmed that Annalise and Robert had been murdered for what they had found out which meant that the theory about Cenred’s research and potential cult involvement was gaining substantial credibility. There had to be more to it than just Cenred murdering people for fun and it clearly involved summoning the devil, but Merlin was unable to figure out the link. Whatever it was, the piece of paper that he had been slipped was no doubt a key clue in figuring it out. 

Merlin arrived at his dorm just in time to realize what was happening. Arthur, the royal prat that he was, had clearly sought out Morgana to make amends and she looked less than pleased at the sight of his face. 

Gwaine had a look of delight on his face and as if in slow motion, Merlin watched Morgana’s fist connect with Arthur’s face. The resounding thwack brought Merlin back into reality just in time to feel Arthur stumble back into him, sending Merlin sprawling onto the ground. He landed on his ass, hard, a cup of scalding coffee soaking through his sweater, and felt Arthur fall back onto his lap. The scene was scandalous, all long limbs tangled together and two flustered faces. Merlin turned to glance at Arthur with a deadpan expression. “We really need to stop meeting like this. And I told you that she would hit you.”

“I know you did.” Arthur muttered as he got off of Merlin before he could even consider how close they had been. He offered Merlin his hand and pulled him up, standing to the side to avoid Morgana’s building fury. 

“I see you and my traitorous brother are talking again.” Morgana muttered, clenching and unclenching her fist to alleviate the tension and aching thumping in her knuckles. “You gonna move so that I can hit him again? Or do we have to be grown ups and use our words?”

“What do you think?” Merlin sighed as he wormed his way into the room, setting the remaining undamaged coffees down on his desk. He didn’t exactly want to change in front of everyone but the soaking sweater was disgusting so he turned away and removed it. It was dead silent until he turned around to reach for a clean sweater, catching a worried look spreading on Gwen’s face. 

“Merlin, what happened to your neck?” she asked. Merlin raised his eyebrow and turned to glance in the mirror, eyes widening and hand reaching up to brush at his throat. An angry red line blistered the circumference of his throat, broken only by his Adam's apple, and then it hit Merlin. His dream about Morgana, her death, the injury was identical.   
“I let Gwaine choke me in bed, we got real kinky.” Merlin shot back, almost deadpanning. He didn’t wait and pulled a clean sweater on, hiding the line from sight. 

Gwaine was the first to laugh, the tension deflating like a balloon. Soon everyone else joined in savefor Arthur who looked incredibly perturbed. When had Merlin and Gwaine become a thing? He didn’t like the idea of them together; partly out of jealousy and partly because he wasn’t sure if he liked even thinking about anyone in bed, let alone the guy he had just had an entire sexualty crisis around. The others almost knew where the conversation was going to go and were rather quick in their departure, fully aware that some conversations were meant to be private.

“Moving on, I did actually come here for a reason.” Arthur said, warily eyeing Morgana and her fists. “Morgana, I’m here for you. I know that nothing I can say will justify what I did so I’m not going to try and make excuses for it. I was selfish and a coward, simple as that. I took your choice away and that in itself is something that I never should have done. A simple I’m sorry isn’t going to mean anything given our history and I know we both know that. All I want is the chance to make it up to you again, to try and fix what I broke. Will you give me the chance to try and fix things?”

Had Arthur just admitted that he was wrong AND that what he had done was for selfish reasons? That was far more introspection than Morgan had ever thought him capable of. He had admitted that he was wrong and that he had been selfish, that his actions had been unforgivable, but he was still trying to seek redemption. Morgana was conflicted, the two sides of her arguing over her decision. Part of her would never forgive Arthur for taking away her choice and alienating her from the rest of her family but the other part of her knew that in choosing to hate Arthur she would lose the only blood relative she had left who was still capable of loving her. Was she willing to succumb to a life of alienation just to make her brother pay for something that was bound to happen sooner or later?

Before she could make a decision, she felt her phone buzz in her pocket and she removed it. The number was unknown and Morgana could feel panic stir in her stomach. Opening the message, her eyes went wide and she bit her lip hard enough to draw blood. This was not an ideal development, not in the slightest. “I need to go, now. We can talk later about your redemption arc. If the others ask where I went, just tell them that I forgot I had a meeting scheduled with a professor.” 

“Uh.. okay..” Arthur mumbled, clearly surprised by the fact that Morgana hadn’t outright to him to fuck off. He could hear the slight tremor in her voice and almost felt the anxiety rolling off of her as she brushed past him and out into the hall, rushing past the group and out of sight. Arthur looked at them and sighed deeply, running a hand over his face. “Something is wrong with Morgana.”


	17. How to get Away with Blackmail

As Morgana hurried along the sidewalk toward the café, her phone felt like a brick in her back pocket. It was a tool for communication, a way for her to reach people she had never even met and to access information that gave her her sense of the word, but it was more than that; it was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing in that it gave her power that women in the olden days would have only dreamt of but a curse in every other sense. Angry texts from Uther sat unread and the message from the unknown number was weighing heavy on her. 

Meet me at the café, I know what you did.

There was no way that anyone could have possibly known about her tryst with Morgause, no one except Morgause. Well, her and the group but Morgana knew that no one in the group would ever tell another living soul about what had happened. But someone did know, someone who clearly had the means to get her phone number. This meeting wouldn’t end well, that much was obvious. 

It dumbfounded her how all the people she passed by were so oblivious to the realities of the world. Did they not understand that their own classmates were disappearing and likely being murdered? And if they did know, did they even care? What would the public say if they found out? Would there be an outcry or would they chock it up to some nonsense conspiracy? Not that it mattered, the university was too good at hiding the skeletons in its closet. They had hidden the disappearances for a hundred years, hidden the fact that close to six hundred human beings with their own lives and souls had been taken. It made her queasy, made her want to crawl and hide away like a scared child. But she had to be strong, she had to face her fears and the terrifying new reality of hers.

Morgana took a deep breath, a failed attempt to steady her nerves, before she stepped into the café and wove her way through the crowd of people to a table in the corner. She smoothed her shirt before sitting down and warily eyeing the crowd. Among the students not one looked particularly suspicious and that only served to heighten her sense of nervousness. The stress was intense and as she thought further into the entire situation, a man sat down in front of her. 

The man was tall and classically handsome, dark eyes and sharp features. He conducted himself with an air of arrogance as if he saw himself as god’s gift to man. His style was impeccable, a dress shirt and suit jacket paired with slacks and dress shoes. Morgana knew him, knew who he was, and her heart dropped into her stomach.  
“Professor Cenred.” She mumbled, clenching her jaw. “You wanted to meet with me?”

“I did.” he confirmed, setting his briefcase down next to the table before seating himself. To him, Morgana was merely a means to an end though she was a fascinating specimen. 

In class she was outspoken and passionate, arguing her points with such a fervid intensity that it felt almost religious, and that extended to many of the causes that she had championed online. Cenred had done his research, he had seen what she had lent her name to and how she had rebelled against the antiquated views of her father. He imagined that her personal life was tumultuous at best and that only piqued his curiosity more. It was such a shame that she was the outlaw, he knew she would have made a brilliant protege. Perhaps even better than Morgause.

“You seduced my wife and in doing so, slept with one of your professors. Do you even realize the consequences of your actions?”

Morgana’s eyes widened and she bit back an indignant response. Seduced his wife, was he fucking kidding? Obviously Morgause had seduced her, Morgana had been too drunk to remember most of it. “I seduced your wife?” she muttered. “I was drunk and she encouraged me. Had I been sober, I would never have done anything. Trust me, I'm incredibly aware of how damaging this is to both of your reputations as well as mine and that there is the potential for a lot of consequences. We should forget it happened, it’s better for everyone.”

Cenred laughed despite his best efforts, his eyes glimmering with malevolence. “Forget it happened? Not a chance, my dear. You see, I know that you and your friends are looking into my wife and I and I am not particularly thrilled at that prospect.”

“Why not? I mean, I wouldn’t be happy if a bunch of university students uncovered the fact that I was kidnapping and murdering students in the hopes of doing something cult-like but that’s just me. You really need to be less sloppy, honestly.” Morgana muttered, all sense of propriety thrown out the window. “Here’s a hint: stop pulling the same shit every year and thinking you won’t get caught. If any of this gets out, you’re completely ruined.”

“What is with you children and your foolish ideas? The notion is absurd, truly it is.” Cenred laughed, though the nervous twitch to the corner of his lip gave him away. He had all but confirmed his involvement and Morgana grinned. Maybe the meeting had been beneficial after all. “That being said, I wouldn’t advise letting anyone know about this meeting or your unsubstantiated theory. I would just hate for these to be leaked.”

Cenred grinned and set his phone on the table, his photo gallery open. Several photos of Morgana and Morgause in incredibly compromising situations were present. Morgana took one look at the photoset and lost all the confidence that she had previously had moments ago. If those got out, it would be the end of her. They would expel her from the university, she would be further estranged from everyone else in her life, and she would be unwillingly outed to the media who were already clamoring her since her estrangement from Uther. But Morgause would suffer too if the photos were leaked. “What about your wife? If those were to be released, she would lose her position at the university and every other teaching job she could find.

“Do you think I care about my wife?” Cenred laughed, returning his phone to his pocket. “She’s a convenience, honestly. I feel nothing for her and I feel nothing for you. Having said that, we can come to an arrangement that will prevent these images from spreading.”

“What arrangement is that?” Morgana asked hurriedly, cursing at how her voice betrayed her. 

“I need you to do a few things. Firstly, get rid of all the research your group has gathered on any strange going ons on campus, including the theory that I have somehow become the mastermind behind a secret group that murders students. Secondly, I want you to isolate Merlin Emrys from the group. I have a special interest in him but I know that he won't approach me unless he has no one else in his circle. Thirdly, I need you to slip this into something that one of your group drinks. I believe his name is Gwaine,” Cenred said as he handed Morgana a vial with a pale yellow liquid contained in it, “and I need this done within the next week and I need to be made aware of when this happens. Do all of this and I won’t release the pictures of you and my wife.”

Morgana was fine with destroying the evidence but the other two things made her more apprehensive. Isolating Merlin from the group would be near impossible, and even if she somehow managed that feat, there was no way that Merlin would ever turn to Cenred. Merlin wasn’t stupid, nor was he desperate enough to ever consider Cenred as an option. What turned her stomach the most was the business with Gwaine. She had no idea what was in the vial, though she suspected it was some kind of drug, and the thought of drugging a friend was enough to make her shiver in revulsion. Why Gwaine needed to be drugged and why it had to be so soon only confused her. What was Cenred planning? It was a simple decision though, she had to admit that, and the fact that it felt so easy made Morgana hate herself. Either she destroyed the last remaining shred of her dignity and had her life ruined by those photos or she helped Cenred with whatever his plans were and destroyed her friend group but preserved her own reputation. Neither option was ideal but Morgana was a Pendragon and they all had one thing in common; a sense of self preservation so strong it overwhelmed every other moral that they possessed. 

“Fine,” she spat, “I’ll help you.”

~

When Morgana had left for her meeting, the group had returned to the dorm room and taken up various spots around it. Merlin sat on his desk chair, one leg hugged up to his chest and the other sprawled out in front of him. He looked spindly and long, earning the nickname spider boy from Gwaine. Gwen and Lancelot sat on Merlin’s bed, their legs hanging off the edge and swinging at the knees. Arthur sat cross legged on the floor, his head against the edge of Gwaine’s mattress and Gwaine had stretched out on his own bed. 

“Sooo, has anyone else realized that we have finals in literally less than a month.. Because I’m freaking the heck out about it.” Gwen sighed. “I have six finals and every one is a science course. At this point I need Jesus to descend from the heavens and perform a miracle so that I don’t fail.”

“Well why don’t you get Lancelot to help you study anatomy?” Gwaine grinned, winking at them and laughing when Gwen flushed red. He saw how shy the two of them were with each other and all of the subtle glances and touches were driving him insane. They honestly just needed to fuck. “We both know he’d be down. You do the anatomy bit and he can study the physics of motion while you two do it.”

“Dude, stop obsessing over our sex life and get your own.” Lancelot laughed. “Aren’t you talking to like four girls or something? Get one of them to help you get over wherever hump you’re in.”

Gwaine tried to keep a straight face but it cracked and snorted with laughter. That had been a poor choice of words but so so perfect at the same time. “I could but I feel bad for kicking Merlin out of the room so often. It’s not like he can go stay with Gwen cuz you’re always over there all the time. I guess he could stay with Arthur, provided they don’t actively try to kill each other.”

Arthur had been silent up until that point, unsure of how he would be received back into the group given what happened. He could tell they were wary but he didn’t feel alienated with Morgana being gone so he decided to speak up, glancing over at Merlin. “I’ve only tried to kill Merlin once.”

“Technically twice if you count meeting outside of Gaius’ office.” Merlin corrected, turning his head to glance at Arthur. “And if I wanted to kill you, you’d already be dead. It’s not like it would be that hard. You already got beat up by your sister and let's face it, I totally gave you a sexuality crisis.”

“You did not give me a sexuality crisis.” Arthur muttered, crossing his arm over his chest. It was a flat out lie but Arthur was still incredibly defensive about the whole thing. “I was just curious. And besides, you’re not my type. I don’t go after clotpoles.”

“Mmm, I see how it is.” Merlin hummed, vaguely amused by how obvious Arthur’s lies were. Naturally Merlin was still pissed at Arthur but that didn’t mean he couldn’t still have fun. Gwaine had been trying to get Merlin to be a little more adventurous and maybe flirting with Athur was the way to go. At least when Morgana wasn’t around. “Just admit that you think I’m hot.”

“Yeah Merlin, you’re so hot with your dopey smile and blue eyes and big ears.” Arthur mumbled sarcastically, eyes rolling. “Let’s not forget that obnoxious laugh and your thing for baggy sweaters while we’re at it. What about that stupid little dimple in your cheek and maybe your stupidly soft lips. Like seriously man, how much chapstick do you use?”

Merlin felt his ears and then his face redden as Arthur continued on, realizing that most of it wasn’t sarcastic at all and in fact quite true. He mumbled something under his breath to himself and ran a hand over his face before glancing back up just in time to see Gwaine grin like an idiot. “Oh Merlin definitely uses a lot of chapstick. He’s got like a whole collection in one of his drawers. But his lips are definitely soft, I can confirm that.”

“Is there anyone in this room that hasn’t been kissed by Merlin?” Arthur muttered. Lancelot was the only one who raised his hand which shocked exactly no one but they all saw Gwen’s hand stay down and there were several raised eyebrows. “When did you kiss Merlin?”

“We were like thirteen,” Gwen shrugged. “We went out to the crappy movie theatre back home and watched some horrible rom com. Merlin thought he might be gay but didn’t know and said he was scared to have his first kiss with a stranger. So I looked at him, grabbed his face, and kissed him in the back of the movie theatre.”

“And I pulled after and said ‘yep, definitely gay’.” Merlin chuckled. That had been an interesting memory for sure and one of many with Gwen that he often thought about fondly. He was mildly amused by Arthur’s unintended jealousy and decided to tease him some more. Pulling out a tube of chapstick from his hoodie pocket, he looked Arthur dead in the eyes and began to apply it. “It’s coconut, you want some?”

Arthur had been unable to tear his eyes away from Merlin and felt a lump forming in his throat. Awkwardly he cleared it, feeling the heat on his face, and tore his eyes away from Merlin. The insinuation was ridiculous and as much as Arthur wanted to deny it, he wanted it. Not that it mattered because Morgana came in before anything could happen. She seemed huffy like usual so no one was really sure if something had gone on.

“I’m not sure that I want to know what I missed but I have news.” Morgana said. “You better not have prior plans for tonight because we’re doing something fun. We’ve been cooped up with ghost stories for too long and that on top of classes is just stressing us all out. So Gwaine, get into some pants, and let’s get going.”


	18. Gimme S'more Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know your opinions on marshmallows and how they should be cooked over a campfire. I'm curious.

It took Gwaine a few minutes to find a pair of pants after Morgana had announced their impromptu adventure and once he had put them on, he turned back to her. “Do you maybe want to tell us where we're going and what we’re doing?” 

“Oh, right, sorry.” Morgana mumbled. “I feel like smores and it’s a really nice night so I figured that we could go down to the beach and have a bonfire. If it makes you want to come along even more, we can always bring alcohol too. I didn’t really feel like staying in and doing research especially because we have finals soon.”  
“You had me at smores.” Gwaine said. He paused to reach under his bed and pulled out a bag that contained a number of snacks as well as alcohol. It was the grab n’ go bag that he had had since September. 

“I guess I could get out of this chair if there’s snacks involved.” Merlin hummed, standing and grabbing a jacket just in case it got cold. He wasn’t usually one for impromptu plans, especially those that involved late night hikes and alcohol, but Morgana was right in the justifications. They did need to relieve some of the stress surrounding them and a bonfire did sound kind of nice. Maybe it would even give Arthur a chance to finish talking with Morgana, provided she was willing to let him tag along. Soon everyone had packed whatever they planned to bring and Arthur was left standing there, eyeing Morgana warily. 

Morgana hadn’t intended on letting Arthur come seeing as she was still royally pissed at him but then figured that if he was still irritating, that she could push him into the lake. That and she did want to finish their earlier conversation. “Arthur, are you coming or are you just gonna stand there?”

“Yeah, coming.” he mumbled quickly so that Morgana couldn't suddenly rescind her invitation. 

The trek from the dorms to the beach took maybe fifteen minutes and seemed rather uneventful. Gwen and Lancelot hung towards the back. Holding hands as they walked, while Gwaine and Morgana kept the lead at the front and traded jokes that Merlin had tuned out. Merlin was preoccupied with his own thoughts, chiefly about the philosophy exam he would be failing in a few weeks. The path itself was littered with rocks and tree roots, precarious during the day but practically deadly in the fading light of the sunset and Merlin’s preoccupation was not a good sign. He glanced down at his feet for a brief moment to right himself in a particularly rough patch and felt his foot catch under a root. Merlin barely had time to even think before pitching forward and falling into Arthur who had been just ahead of him. The pair tumbled to the ground, Arthur’s back hitting the sand and Merlin landing on Arthur. Their legs tangled together, noses practically brushing, and Merlin was thankful for the darkness as it masked his blush.

“We really need to stop doing this.” Arthur quipped, mocking Merlin for his comment just the day prior. His body hurt from landing on the hard packed sand of the beach but he hardly noticed it, too focused on Merlin being on top of him. He felt Merlin’s hips pressed against his, chest to chest as well, and Arthur was almost scared to breathe. The simple act of being this close made Arthur’s breath catch in his chest and his stomach flutter with butterflies.

“Agreed.” Merlin muttered, scrambling back to his feet before the others could see them and make a comment about it. They hadn’t seen it, it hadn't happened. That being said, it gave Merlin a lot to think about. He wasn’t angry that it had happened and it had drawn out the fact that Merlin still found Arthur attractive despite his many misgivings and faults.  
By the time they caught up with the others, Gwaine had already started the bonfire on the beach and was sitting down on the sand beside Lancelot and Gwen. Merlin nudged Arthur in Morgana’s direction before he sat with the others, wanting any tension to be resolved before they started to have fun. Morgana and Arthur stood off near the edge of the water and Morgana gazed out towards the horizon to watch the final embers of sunset fade away into nighttime. 

“We never finished our conversation from earlier. You seem sorry which almost never happens and I think those few days of being alone did you some good. I understand that you’re afraid of dad and of the fact that all these feelings are new and sudden but what you did still really hurt me. I wasn’t ready to tell dad and now I’m forced to deal with his judgement knowing that I didn't get to come out on my own terms.”

“I know that and I am sorry, honestly.'' Arthur sighed, kicking the sand into the waves lapping at the shore. “This is all new and it really freaks me out. Dad always said it wasn’t natural and some part of me always knew that I was bi, I think. All I’ve ever done is try to make him proud and I don’t know what I would do if he stopped approving of me. What can I do to fix what happened between us? Because I want to fix it more than anything.”

Morgana thought for a moment before she responded. “There’s a few things you can do. First, I want you to accept that part of yourself. That means that you go after who you want, in this case Merlin. I see what he does to you and you could do a lot worse than him if I’m being honest. And secondly, I want you to sit down and talk with dad. I’m not saying that you have to come out to him if you aren’t ready, I just want you to tell him that what he thinks is wrong and that it is going to drive you away. If he thinks that he’s losing his only son, I know that he’ll try and change. Can you do that for me? It won’t completely fix everything but it will be a start.” 

“Yeah, I can do that.” Arthur nodded. Part of him was more than a little relieved at the fact that Morgana was willing to start forgiving him. The thought of having to talk with Uther about that kind of thing filled him with abject terror but it was a small sacrifice he was willing to make and it meant that he wouldn’t lose Morgana. She didn’t want to be completely nice so she shoved Arthur with a shit eating grin, laughing when he landed half in the water. 

“There, now you can change sweaters and use being cold as an excuse to curl up to Merlin.” She grinned, sauntering back over to the campfire. Arthur cursed under his breath when the cold water hit him and he scrambled up, silently thanking Morgana as he shuffled back to the campfire. Arthur rummaged through his bag for a spare shirt and changed, Merlin watching him.

“He’s ripped, what the actual hell.” Merlin whispered to Gwen, eyes glued to Arthur. He hated staring but honestly couldn’t help it and even Gwaine looked somewhat impressed. Arthur raised an eyebrow before he sat down beside Merlin.

“I know that I’m hot, you don’t have to stare.” Arthur grinned cockily, sitting down next to Merlin.

“Don’t flatter yourself.” Merlin shot back, handing Arthur a stick with a marshmallow skewered on the end. Arthur rolled his eyes and thrust his marshmallow into the fire, watching it flame up. By the time he removed it, the marshmallow was burnt beyond recognition. 

“Is that how you’re eating your marshmallows?” Gwen asked, clearly judging both Arthur and Gwaine for their choices. “You two are heathens, honestly. Marshmallows are golden brown, that’s it. Might as well eat the coals from the fire if your marshmallows are going to be that burnt.”

“Golden marshmallows have zero flavour. They’re like lukewarm pillows, absolutely gross. No one wants to sleep on a warm pillow so why would anyone want to eat a lukewarm marshmallow.” Gwaine replied, looking Gwen dead in the eyes as he shoved the burnt marshmallow into his mouth. 

“Obviously you’re both kind of valid.” Merlin added, his own marshmallow not golden but not burnt either. “Smores need the burnt marshmallow so that it sticks together but if you’re eating the marshmallow by itself then it has to be golden brown. “That’s the only way to do it.”

“Or just don’t eat marshmallows because they’re basically just sugar and also gross.” Lancelot added. That was not a well agreed with opinion and everyone booed Lancelot, Gwen laughing at him.

“You’re so cute when everyone boos at you, almost makes me feel bad enough to want to kiss you.” Gwen teased. She was leaning against Lancelot and grinning up at him like she had just won the lottery. They hadn’t kissed yet, mostly just cuddled, seeing as Gwen wasn’t exactly comfortable kissing someone she had just started dating. It had been almost two months now though and Lancelot wasn’t about to waste his chance. He turned his head to face her completely and brought his hand up to rest on the side of her face, leaning in and kissing her gently. 

The group all hooted and hollered but then turned away and let the two of them have their moment, just praying they wouldn’t sneak away for more and get lost in the woods somewhere. Arthur thought about doing something similar and his face must have been obvious because Merlin took one look at him and shook his head. “Don't even think about it, Pendragon. I am not afraid to break your pretty face.”

“So you think I’m pretty.” Arthur grinned, poking Merlin’s cheek. Merlin rolled his eyes at the antics but smiled nonetheless. It was kind of nice to joke around with someone and not have to worry about them being mad if they were hit on. 

Both Arthur and Merlin as well as Lancelot and Gwen had basically gone off to their own little conversations which left Morgana and Gwaine. Morgana had offered to mix drinks for them for two reasons; firstly, she actually enjoyed mixing drinks and secondly, so she could just do what Cenred wanted and get it over with. There was a sort of suffocating guilt wrapped around her heart and her hands were shaking when she removed the stopper and poured the vial into the drink, obscuring it from view.

“Hey, your hands are shaking. Are you okay?” Gwaine frowned, having noticed the shaking and Morgana’s reclusivity that night. He knew that something was up and he wasn’t stupid, figuring it had to do with the meeting she had to attend earlier that day. His heart went out to Morgana, everything had been taking a turn for the worse lately and he knew that she didn't’ deserve it. 

Morgana had been determined to do what Cenred had asked but Gwaine’s perceptiveness and genuine concern threw her off, allowing doubt to creep into her mind. Could she really jeopardize Gwaine’s life just to save her reputation? Who knew what the liquid in the vial would do to him? “I- uh, yeah… I’m fine.” she mumbled. 

Gwaine raised an eyebrow but didn’t want to pressure Morgana and cause another blow up so he let it slide. He accepted the drink from her and took a long swig, sealing his fate “If you say so. If you want to talk then I’m here. I’m not a therapist or anything but I’m a pretty good listener.”

Morgana watched Gwaine sip the drink and knew there was no going back from it. “Thanks, I really appreciate it. Anyway, you feel like a fifth wheel here too or is it just me?”  
“Definitely not just you. Lancelot and Gwen already left so it’s just us and the two idiots. I bet you ten bucks they’re gonna be cuddling by the time we all pack up and leave.” he grinned, extending his hand to Morgana so they could shake on it.

“No chance in hell my brother mans up enough to do that so you’re on.” she said, shaking Gwaine’s hand. They sat back to watch what would unfold, Gwaine finishing his drink and Morgana finishing hers. 

Arthur and Merlin had simply been chatting about random matters, mainly about Arthur’s intro to sociology class and Merlin’s intro to philosophy class and how each class was their absolute favourite. Both of them seemed engrossed in the conversation, leaning towards each other and gesturing wildly with their hands. For the past ten minutes Arthur had been shivering, partially from how thin his sweater was and partially from the fact that Morgana had shoved him into the lake a half hour prior, and Merlin seemed completely oblivious to it. He was far too engrossed in their conversation to notice. 

“Merlin, I’m cold.” Arthur finally muttered, interrupting Merlin’s tirade about how much Immanuel Kant was a horrible philosopher to try and study. Merlin looked over at Arthur, gave him a quick once over with a typical eyebrow raise, and then shook his head in disbelief.

“I told you to bring a thicker sweater, you dollophead. Here, take this.” Merlin muttered, taking his jacket and draping it around Arthur’s shoulders. The jacket was made of a shaggy looking sherpa type material and was soft to touch, quite good at trapping in the heat. It smelled like Merlin, a clean sort of linen scent with the tiniest hint of citrus.

“Thanks.” Arthur mumbled. While he was grateful for the jacket, he found himself realizing that he had in fact wanted to be closer to Merlin. That’s when a plan began to form in Arthur’s head. 

He let Merlin continue on with his rambling. It started with a problem about a trolley and killing people but Arthur wasn’t actually absorbing what was being said. Instead he was focusing on the cadence of Merlin’s voice, how he spoke a little too fast and stumbled over his words in a way that only came across as endearing. More than that it was how animated Merlin's expressions were, how his hands gestured wildly to emphasize his points. Arthur began to scoot closer to him as Merlin talked, eventually ending up thigh to thigh. That’s when Merlin stopped talking, glancing over at Arthur in stunned silence. “What are you doing?” He asked, unsure of why Arthur had gotten so close. Merlin could feel the butterflies in his stomach and tried to ignore them but failed when Arthur turned and leaned his head on his shoulder.

“Merlin, I’ve been freezing for the past hour. Put your scrawny ass arm around me.”

“Got it, maybe just ask right away next time.” Merlin mumbled, stretching his arm before wrapping it around Arthur. Aside from being oblivious and not particularly liking how blunt Arthur had been, it had ended rather well. 

Gwaine saw it at the same time as Morgana did and he grinned, turning to her. “You owe me ten bucks.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know I do.” Morgana mumbled, rifling through her pockets before handing over a crumpled bill. Watching Arthur and Merlin had been a nice distraction but now that they had figured things out, it left more time for Morgana to think about what she had to Gwaine. He looked perfectly fine but that could’ve just been a farce. She didn’t know what she had given him and the fact that she had even entertained roofying a friend told her more about her morals than anything else ever had. The group stayed for another half hour or so before they began to pack up, Morgana silent on the walk back as the others chatted away. 

What had she just done?


	19. Sweet Dreams Aren't Made of These

Merlin and Gwaine practically fell into their beds after the bonfire excursion, Gwaine was feeling both the effects of the alcohol and of the drug Morgana had slipped into his drink. The room was spinning and his head was pounding, explosions of colour blooming under his eyelids. Sleep came as a mercy to him. Merlin’s heart was racing with all of the possibilities that had now opened between him and Arthur but he barely acknowledged it, knowing that there was far too much going on in regards to Cenred to ever allow them the opportunity to get together properly. It was thoughts like that that plagued Merlin as he drifted off, turning his sweetest dreams into the most horrific of nightmares.

~

_The blood that had spilled from Morgana’s neck had long since seeped into the crevices of the tiles, a bright red dulling to an earthen brown. In the deafening silence following her death, four others had been brought out and now sat restrained. A hooded figure, the same from Morgana’s own death, stood in front of them to select his next victim. His eyes fell on Lancelot and he smiled. The boy had been the most peaceful of the group to obtain, half asleep and lured with the promise of knowledge that would propel his career in the working world. Lancelot had also been dehydrated for days while in their keep and he barely had the strength to lift his own head, let alone fight against a man at full strength. His shirt was torn and his hair in disarray, a single bruise marring his jaw. The figure grabbed Lancelot by his collar and dragged him towards the middle of the room, pushing the boy onto his knees so that he faced a basin of water._

_“My explorer, look at you. You can hardly keep your head above the water.” the man chuckled, letting go of Lancelot’s head. His head hurtled towards the water and the man caught him just before Lancelot dunked his head, yanking him up by his hair. “You must be so thirsty.. Would you care for a drink?”_

_“Yes,” Lancelot croaked out, the licking of his lips an almost Pavlovian response at that point. His lips had cracked and all he could taste was metal in his mouth, his light headedness making it near impossible for him to think clearly._

_“Then you shall have it.” The figure grinned. He let go of Lancelot’s head and the unmistakable splashing sound filled the chamber._

_Lancelot, too weak to lift his head, simply knelt there as the water bubbled around him. A large boot rested on his back, keeping Lancelot in place as his lungs began to burn and fill with water. Agonized screams filled the chamber but the water muffled them and slowly Lancelot began to succumb to the darkness, his unconscious body slumping onto the tiles. A sickening thud echoed as his head bounced off of the pavement and Gwen, the one who had been screaming, tore away from the other figures and rushed to Lancelot._

_“No, no, you need to wake up!” She practically begged, getting onto her knees and rolling Lancelot onto his back. Without even thinking of it she began to press her hands to his chest, pushing hard enough to feel his sternum crack beneath her shaking hands. One, five, fifteen compressions later and Lancelot still wasn’t responding. Gwen’s breathing was frantic, her chest heaving up and down as tears began to well in her eyes. It couldn’t end like this, it couldn’t! The figure gave her time for one final breath, a kiss that wasn’t exactly a kiss, before he yanked Gwen away and tossed her to the ground._

_“You couldn't save him, truly it is a shame. Young love is so fleeting. Especially for one like you, a caregiver. You watch over others, ensure their safety like it is your job but yet, you failed to save the one who mattered most. What a pity.” Gwen, who had not been so easily subdued by the group, launched at the figure with a strength that she hadn't known she possessed. She tackled him to the ground and wrestled with him, drawing blood before she was thrown off of him. Landing against the basin and next to Lancelot, the wind was knocked out of her and she could do nothing but stare at the figure as she tried to regain her faculties._

_The man turned away from her and when he turned around, he was brandishing a large meat cleaver. Gwen’s heart began to race but she was utterly helpless as he grabbed her wrist and brought the cleaver slamming down onto it. The cleaver sliced through the first layer of skin as if it were made of paper but lodged in the bones of Gwen’s wrist, blood spurting up from the wound and dripping down her arm onto the tiled floor. Her scream bounced against the walls and the wave of nausea running through her was strong enough to topple her over as she clutched at her wrist._

_“Now you cannot heal those who you care for. You have been corrupted.” The man said as he wrenched the cleaver free and brought it down again, severing Gwen’s hand from her body. Blood spurted from the wound like a fountain and all at once, Gwen became so lightheaded that she collapsed next to Lancelot. Reaching out with her uninjured hand, she took Lancelot’s hand and held it tightly as the last dregs of life drained from her eyes._

~

Heart palpitations threw Merlin out of his peaceful sleep and back into reality, wide eyes full of fear staring up at his ceiling. Sweat beaded on his forehead and his skin felt clammy to the touch, his stomach roiling with waves of nausea. His entire body had been put into fight or flight by these dreams, by the night terrors which had consumed Merlin for the better part of a month and a half. Tossing the sheets off of his bed and onto his chair, Merlin reached for his phone. He needed to text Gwen, to make sure that she was okay. That dream had felt different, it had felt real. Her screams had sounded so real and the hot blood from her body left a lingering feeling on Merlin’s cheek, like he had just wiped it off with a cloth. Blue light lit up his face as he sent Gwen a text.

**~Hey, are you up? Just wanted to check in since you and Lancelot left early~**

There was a period of ten minutes where there was no answer and Merlin’s anxiety only began to skyrocket. What if something had happened to them? Where were they, were they okay? This had been the second dream of this nature that had to do with his friends dying and with what he assumed was the cult in their wild theories. It was starting to weigh on him, everything that was happening. He had made more friends and he was enjoying classes and being in university, not to mention that he was closer with his mother despite what he had learned and he had a chance to be with a guy who was not only hot but rather caring when he wasn’t being a thick-headed dumbass.

It was all of the other nonsense that made him question everything. The university had such a dark past and being surrounded by it all the time meant that Merlin could see the corruption running rampant but was powerless to stop it. Let’s not forget the fact that there was an incredibly strong possibility that the supernatural was real and that Merlin and his friends were being haunted by the ghosts of dead students who had been murdered by a secret group on campus that was likely led by their professors. All of it was too much for Merlin, but he didn’t want to burden anyone else with his worries. It was probably best to just say nothing and figure it out by himself.

**~I was asleep but I’m up now. All is good, in bed with Lancelot rn. Cuddles and all that stuff. Tty tmrw~**

Merlin was relieved that Gwen was alright and more so that Lancelot was both alright and with her. At Least the two of them would be safe, he hoped. He tried to go back to sleep but every time he closed his eyes, he could hear Gwen screaming and see Lancelot drowning. The anxious tapping of his foot must have been rather loud because Gwaine grumbled and chucked a pillow at Merlin from across the room, cracking an eye open. “Merlin, stop tapping your damn foot. You’re gonna drive me crazy.” Merlin looked over and offered an apologetic smile.

“Sorry,” He mumbled quietly. He thought about asking Gwaine if they could talk but decided against it as Gwaine opened his mouth again. Gwaine knew Merlin enough to know what his nervous habits were and that it was uncommon for him to be awake at 3 am, at least according to the clock in their room. Even more so than that was the soft dismissive way in which Merlin had apologized and how that too felt incredibly off.

“You’re not doing okay, are you? You’re not usually up this late and I know you tap your foot when you get anxious. Move over, I’m coming over. Tell me what you’re thinking.” Gwaine said. He gave Merlin no time to protest and rolled out of bed, sitting down beside him and facing him.

“I’m struggling, Gwaine, honestly.” Merlin sighed, fiddling with Aithusa momentarily before tossing the stuffed toy aside. “I’m scared for our finals for starters; they just count for so much of our grade and I need an insane gpa to keep my scholarship. If I lose my scholarship then I won’t be able to stay here. This place has really helped me. I’ve gotten more confident and I’ve made friends that I know I’ll keep after we all leave and there’s just so much pressure on me to excel at all of my classes. There’s so much to remember and philosophy is so complicated for no reason.”

“I get it, believe it or not.” Gwaine sighed, stretching out on Merlin’s bed in case Merlin decided that he needed some physical comfort. “Theatre isn’t a hard major, I’m well aware of that, but I’m here on a scholarship too. My parents wouldn’t help me unless I went into the field that they wanted and I refuse to major in business. I’m not some soulless reptilian wearing human skin. What I’m trying to say is that your feelings are totally valid but that you have friends who are here to help you out. We’re here to help you study and to provide distractions when your brain shuts off. And you know your shit, let's not kid ourselves. I’ve never seen someone who can explain aristotelian psychology in a way that makes sense to someone who has literally no idea who aristotle even is. You’re fucking smart, Merlin, you just need to stop doubting yourself.”

Merlin smiled the tiniest bit before curling up to Gwaine. This was a new experience for him, being able to be so physically affectionate with another guy without having to worry about feelings or sex or anything like that. It was completely platonic but Merlin couldn’t seem to get enough of it, and he knew that Gwaine was fond of it too, even if he wouldn’t admit to anyone else. “Thanks… and you’re right. There is more bothering me though. Do you ever just have a nightmare that feels so real that it’s like you’ve lived it? Or like it's going to happen in real life?”

“I once had a dream that Freddy Kreuger dressed up as Princess Peach on Halloween and tried to seduce me. Definitely felt real enough and I was thirteen so you know what that’s like.” Gwaine chuckled. “But I know what you mean. Is that what’s happening here?”

Merlin hesitated before he replied, comforted by Gwaine’s arm around him. Now he knew how girls felt when they cuddled with each other and it was nice, it helped. “I’ve had two dreams about our group dying… I saw Morgana and then Lancelot and Gwen die. At first I thought it was just from doing research and constantly exposing myself to all sorts of things like that but now I’m not so sure..”

“You think it’s because of the book, because you got the papercut and got blood on the pages. I’ve been thinking about that a lot too, especially because of everything we’ve been looking into. Gwen’s attack could have easily been a human, Morgana’s was kind of iffy given the fact that she was drunk, but there is no way that whatever dug its nails into you was human. You’re having these dreams too and I’m guessing that their deaths have to do with what we’re looking into.”

“They do. They’re not just like getting shot or stabbed, it's- it’s almost ritualistic.” Merlin mumbled. Even thinking about it was beginning to make him queasy again and he closed his eyes, taking another deep breath to calm down. He had already started so there was no way he could just end without further explanation. “There was this guy, he had a hood on and I couldn't see his face, and they were in this chamber. It looks almost like a cavern but with like stone tiled floors and large windows. He uh, with Morgana he used a piano wire. I think that's what it was. He called her Outlaw too but I don’t know what that means. He wrapped it around her throat and strangled her. She wouldn’t stop screaming. And the others, oh god it was awful. Lancelot drowned, the man held his head under the water and Gwen tried to save him but she failed. He called them Explorer and Caregiver. They chopped off her hand and they died together!” Merlin began to choke up, his voice catching in his throat as he recalled the nightmares.

It was too much for him to hold in but the crushing guilt of burdening Gwaine with the knowledge did little to make him feel better. If anything, it just made it worse. Gwaine felt his own stomach churn with revulsion at the thought of his friends dying but his mind was whirring away. “Hey, shhh, it’s okay Merlin. They were just dreams, everyone is okay right now. You’ve been sitting on these a while, I can tell, so thank you for telling me. I have to ask, do you think that this has to do with Cenred and the missing students? Because it's sounding more and more like ritual sacrifice to me.”

“It has to do with that. Six students go missing, six get sacrificed. I think we know how three of them die but I don't know who the other three are or how they die. Not that I want to know.” Merlin muttered.

“My best guess is that the other three are us and Arthur. There’s six of us in the group and you’ve already dreamt about three of us dying. The real question is how the rest of us die and how Cenred is choosing his students. I would assume it has to do with the book that you grabbed but I honestly don’t know. Now you said Caregiver, Explorer, and Outlaw right?”

Merlin nodded his head in response, the mere thought of potentially being a victim sending more anxiety racing through him.

“Those are character archetypes from books and shit. My horrible English class is covering those right now. So we need to go to the library tomorrow to check it out, okay?”

“Yeah, okay. Thank you for waking up even though its like five am now. I don’t really think I would have been okay by myself.”

“Well that’s what friends are for. Now go on and get some sleep, you look exhausted.”


	20. Uther? More Like Ruthless

When the sun began to filter through the crack in the curtains and cast its rays on Merlin’s face, that’s when he woke. He had fallen asleep in Gwaine’s arms after their talk the previous night and he had awoken there as well, feeling safe and protected. Gently moving Gwaine’s arm off of him, Merlin slipped out of bed and changed into something semi clean from the pile of clothing on his desk chair. Merlin had lucked out on roommates in all honesty; Gwaine was clean, only obnoxious about ten percent of the time, and had turned into a great friend. Maybe they could room together again the next year if everything went well and they didn't die. 

Merlin thought about shaking Gwaine’s shoulder to wake him so that they could go to the library but he noticed a few things that changed his mind. Gwaine’s lips looked almost a tad blue and his skin was clammy to the touch when Merlin felt his forehead. Clearly he was sick, probably a case of the flu. In any case, Merlin covered Gwaine with the blankets and made sure he was comfortable with a water bottle beside the bed as well as some medication before he wrote Gwaine a note. He mentioned that he was going to the library to research the archetypes and that Gwaine could text if he needed something. 

During the day the library was bustling with students and it seemed to be a safe haven for them, any sort of negative aura driven away by the rays of light streaming through the windows. Merlin thought the building was magnificent, like a castle straight out of a fairytale with stained glass windows and high arching ceilings. The shelves seemed less like a maze and more like an inviting corridor filled with a century of knowledge cultivated by university patrons. Running his handover the spines of the books, Merlin smiled at the thought of spending an entire day there lost in their pages. But, for now, he would seek out what he needed to know in order to end the whole horrid affair. The English section of the library was positively enormous and Merlin looked absolutely lost as he searched for anything on archetypes. Twenty minutes after his search began, Merlin returned to his table near the window with about three selections. 

The first was perhaps 50 pages devoted solely to character archetypes, more specifically Jungian character archetypes, and Merlin didn’t find it particularly stimulating. Sure it was interesting from a philosophical perspective, having everyone separated based on basic personality traits that in no way actually made up the core of their being, but the writing was so dry and to the point. There was no flair. It took close to a half hour to get to the actual archetypes and by then Merlin's brain was practically liquified. Reading Kant would be better than this and Merlin hated Kant with such a passion that he had argued with a professor about it for two thirds of a three hour lecture. There was a list of about twelve archetypes and Merlin's eyes were drawn to three: The Caregiver, The Outlaw, and The Explorer. 

They seemed self explanatory, each fitting with one of his friends in the group. Merlin wondered which category the others would fit into and decided to guess, scribbling down notes in his chicken scratch. Gwaine was so obviously the jester; charismatic and easy going, preferring to make people laugh and feel comfortable. Gwaine was lovably goofy and Merlin admired his lackadaisical approach to everything. Arthur was harder given his tumultuous feelings but Merlin had a feeling that he was the hero; strong-willed and ambitious, hating to lose and vying for power and control in everything. There was a softer side that Merlin had seen as well so he knew that not everything about Arthur was all hard edges and defenses. Merlin couldn't figure out which one he was; none of them fit him perfectly. Aspects of the lover as well as the creator and the magician made him up. Not that it actually mattered, the archetype had very little bearing on things. 

Glancing at the reference section in the back of the book, Merlin came across a curiously titled book:  _ Life and Mysticism; A look at Henry Avalon’s Philosophies.  _ Merlin had had no idea that the founder of the university had been into philosophy and this development seemed like a strong enough thread to follow. Being intimately familiar with the philosophy section of the library had its perks and Merlin retrieved the book in just under three minutes. It was old and leather bound, a musty scent wafting off of the pages. There was a sort of aura around it that manifested as a sinking feeling in the pit of Merlin’s stomach, as if the book itself had been imbued with negative energy. Sitting down and running his fingers over the first of the pages, Merlin could feel the emotion in the words. It was just ink and the apparent ramblings of a dying madman but Merlin's blood ran cold when he came across the original founding poem with several stanza additions…

_ From the Darkest pits of the murkiest Hell the Devil plays his endgame, _

_ When he gives his minions, six of the deadliest sins, freedom to walk the earth unhinged. _

_ Each deadly sin, with a path of their own, seeks a particular personality type _

_ To plunder their trade, create turmoil and havoc combined with tumultuous strife.  _

_ We look to the hero, who is symbolize most, by his honourable and valiant way _

_ The master of warfare, the chivalrous man, the one who evil should not lead astray. _

_ But this is the type that Pride chooses to find, to practice his dishonourable art _

_ And when the hero has fallen to Pride’s nefarious ways, the hero’s sword shall pierce his own heart. _

_ The jester he’s called, with his glib golden tongue, to bring laughter and ease to each day _

_ He takes all life’s worries and lightens them up, a seducer when using wordplay. _

_ Lust finds this type so hard to resist, a creature with traits that make humans pine _

_ ‘Till she cuts out their tongues, ending their gift, they are forced to swallow poisoned wine.  _

_ Next is the outlaw, the rebel of justice, who follows the path of their own beaten drum, _

_ Led by their feelings, opinions and thoughts, they are not sheep to so easily succumb. _

_ But wrath knows their heart, their emotional strength, the key to their innermost fire _

_ And ends their true cause with the garrote in his hand made of unfeeling piano wire. _

_ Lead by the endless pursuit of knowledge untold, the explorer, a creature who feeds on his learning, _

_ He listens to all, is an observer by rote, the thoughts in his mind are constantly churning.  _

_ Gluttony seeks a like mind to his on, one who is greedy to grab at all at hand, _

_ And kills the explorer by starving his mind by dehydration and then drowning on land.  _

_ The truest of heart is the innocent, the caregiver with only positive words to impart, _

_ They cure with their hands and their body, they give to all from the strength of their heart. _

_ To Sloth this is the perfect challenge, to destroy someone with a hardworking nature, _

_ He will tear out their heart and cut off their hands bringing joy to this laziest of creatures. _

_ The last of our types; most challenging of all, the lover, defined by the choices of others _

_ But deals with life the best he knows how, listening to the guidance of his inner mutters _

_ Envy can see the lovers’ thoughts shaded green, he is thrilled with the lovers’ belief in his voice, _

_ In an act that is selfish, but self-satisfying too, he says “your death will be by your choice”. _

_ And so it is written, by the Devil's own hand, the outcome of this diabolical play, _

_ The deadly sins, with their goals defined, will reign triumphant at the end of the day.  _

_ The humans involved, through no fault of their own, will fall victim to the debts of the deal, _

_ And will only realize as hey breathe out their last, that their lives were completely surreal.  _

The more that Merlin read of the poem, the deeper the pit in his stomach grew until he was light headed and nauseous enough to set his head down on the cool table. He had seen this before, seen three of the deaths the founder had written about, and it left no wiggle room for disbelief or deniability. Henry Avalon, while mad, had forged a deal with the devil and even now, a century later, the students of Avalon university were paying for it with their lives. Merlin took a photo of the book before hastily reshelving it and grabbing his bag, booking it out quickly. The group needed to know about this, about the danger all of them were in. 

~

Arthur had been thinking, a rather offbrand gesture for him, about his situation regarding his sister and his father. He had promised both Merlin and Morgana that he would sit down and talk with Uther about their behaviour. It had to be done, Arthur knew that, but it didn’t stop anxiety from bubbling up in him. Was he capable of lying to his father about his newfound identity? Probably not. Could he change Uther’s views on the topic and begin to pave the way for Morgana’s reentry into the family? Not likely. But he had to try, for his family and for himself. 

Of course Arthur had suspected that he wasn’t exactly straight as a child but they had never discussed anything like that at home, it was taboo after his mother’s passing. Igraine had been the light of his father’s life and had actively shaped him towards being a better, more caring man, but that had all changed when she died. Arthur and Morgana had been seven at the time, old enough to have memories of their mother but not quite old enough to fully understand what had happened to her. Coming home from work, she had taught kindergarten for a number of years, the accident had occurred. Someone had run a red light and t-boned her car, sending her and both of the children careening into a concrete side rail. Morgana hadn’t been injured in the accident and Arthur had sat in the side that hit the side rail, the metal crumpling and the commotion leaving him with a superficial head wound and a scar that crossed the right side of his lips. Igraine had taken the brunt of the impact and was pronounced dead shortly after emergency services arrived on the scene. Morgana had been asleep, she didn’t remember the accident but Arthur did and even now, he hated sitting on that side of any vehicle. It didn’t help that that particular day was also the anniversary of his mother’s death. The timing was less than ideal but it was too late to turn back now. 

Uther was sitting at the table in the café they had arranged to meet at, a look of distaste on his face at how public the setting was. Matters this personal should be discussed in private, not out for the whole world to see and hear about. He saw Arthur and managed a small smile. His son had arrived and looked as put together as ever. Uther had taken Morgana’s exit from the family rather hard and Arthur guessed that he had aged rapidly in the short while since the estrangement. “You said that you wanted to meet with me to discuss personal matters. What are you looking to discuss?”

“Morgana and what happened at the library.” Arthur replied, swallowing down the lump of nervousness that had caught in his throat. “I know that it came as a shock to you and I know that you’re still upset about finding out but you need to let it go, dad.”

“I need to let it go, really Arthur?” Uther muttered, eyes narrowed. He had suspected that that was the reason for the meeting but Arthur being so blunt was out of character. It wasn’t something Uther liked seeing in his boy. Arthur was quiet and dutiful, never speaking out of turn, and it was why Uther had loved him so. But this, this set Uther off. “My feelings about that were made very clear. I do not condone it and Morgana has been lying to me for years about it. I am not going to allow a liar to inherit my company and to sully my name.”

“You won’t let someone sully your good name?” Arthur said, laughing almost indignantly. Uther had barely begun and already Arthur was seeing red. He knew that he should bite his tongue to preserve his chances of remaining in Uther’s good graces but he had had enough of his father. It was time to act, time to stand for his sister and for himself. “You disowned your daughter, your own flesh and blood, for something that is out of her control! Morgana didn’t choose to find women attractive and you know what, there isn’t anything wrong with it. She isn’t involved in the company and doesn’t use your name for anything so she can’t sully anything. Can’t you see how you’re hurting her by rejecting her?”

Rage bloomed across Uther’s face and he fought the urge to backhand Arthur, instead sucking in a breath between his teeth. Tension and warning rose in his tone as he spoke, practically hissing at Arthur. “Don’t think that you can tell me what to do, boy. I suggest that you stop allowing Morgana to influence you. She’s going to put bad ideas into your head and I don’t wish to lose both of my children. So wise up and leave her behind, don’t let her slow you down.”

“What would you do if I was gay?” Arthur asked suddenly, rather bluntly as well. 

“Excuse me, what did you just ask me?” Uther asked, rather stunned. When Arthur didn’t reply, Uther began to clue in on a few things. The kiss he had seen hadn’t been forced onto Arthur, there was no way. Arthur’s outrage at Morgana’s treatment was more than just being worried for his sister, he was worried for his own relationship with Uther. It angered Uther that both of his children would choose such a lifestyle. Why had they become such disappointments? “I should have known from the beginning. Get out of my sight.”

Arthur had expected a reaction similar to that but hearing the disdain in his father’s voice and seeing the disgust on his face only hurt Arthur more. He closed his eyes and forced himself to breathe, attempting to quell the rage building. Holding his tongue would be wise but Arthur couldn’t do it, not when it concerned something of this magnitude. “Have fun being alone. Just remember, mom never would have done this. And you know what, I am bi. I like guys too and you can’t do a goddamn thing about it.” 

Arthur didn’t leave any room for Uther to blow up on him, knowing his father’s reaction would be volatile and likely end in violence. He simply grabbed his bag and exited the building quickly, briskly walking back towards campus. Initially exhilarated at the prospect of being completely free of his father’s rule, the adrenaline began to fade and a silent dread took over. Arthur had just destroyed his relationship with his father, angered him, and came out all in the span of fifteen minutes. It was a lot to take in and the more he thought about it, the more it bothered him. Walking back to campus, he pulled Morgana up and sent her a text.

**~I need to talk to you. I might have just done something really stupid~**


	21. Gone Gwaine Pt.1

Morgana was already waiting on her bed by the time that Arthur arrived, ushering him in with a wave of her hand. Her day had already been awful so getting a text like that from Arthur had been the shitty maraschino cherry on top of the garbage filled banana split that was now her life. Her accounting professor had docked her marks on her final essay simply because she had used chicago citations instead of mla (Who even uses mla besides english majors?), someone had spilled their coffee all over her new flannel, and the news about her sexuality had reached mainstream tabloids. No doubt that it was Uther being petty. Not to mention it was the anniversary of their mother’s death, and while Morgana didn’t remember the accident, it still upset her. 

“What did you do this time?” She sighed. “I’ve already had a shitty day and you’re probably just about to make it worse.

“I came out to dad and basically told him to fuck off from my life.” Arthur said bluntly. He was worried that Morgana would blow up on him for burning the last bridge to their father but that didn’t happen at all. Morgana’s look of frustration at first turned into a look of shock, eyebrow raised and eyes wide, before a wide grin split her face and her eyes lit up.

“Did you actually do that?” She laughed, hardly able to believe what she was hearing. Maybe the sundae had turned into something good, like a cherry pie. 

“Yep. I was going to try and convince him that he needed to be less of a dick and let you back into the family but he started getting aggressive and rude so I decided that I didn’t want to associate with him anymore. So, I guess it’s just you and I from now on.”

“I guess it is. Have you told Merlin yet? He’ll be thrilled to know that you did that and maybe it’ll help you two get closer. I mean, you were pretty cuddly at the bonfire, this might end up in a kiss or something. It could be like one of those meet cutes in fanfiction or something.”

“What the hell is fanfiction? Nevermind, it doesn’t matter. I should tell him, he’ll want to know.” Arthur agreed. He paused a moment when he finally noticed Morgana's appearance. Her hair was unkempt and spilled in knotted waves around her face, dark bags sticking out under her eyes. A baggy sweater practically swallowed her and her nails had been bitten down to the quick. “Morgana, are you okay?

Morgana looked over at him and while she had initially planned on lying, the concern in Arthur’s voice and on his face caught her off guard and she couldn’t think of a believable lie. She needed to tell someone about everything, it was getting too much for her. Maybe this was her opportunity to do so. “Not really. I did something, something really bad, and now I can’t stop feeling so guilty about it.”

“What did you do?” Arthur asked. He assumed it was something like cheat on a test or say something that she shouldn’t have to someone important. What came out of Morgana’s mouth was not something that he was prepared for. 

“So I got really drunk after you outed me to dad and I slept with a professor by accident. That wouldn’t have been such a big deal but it was Morgause..” Morgana sighed, running a hand through her hair. “I don’t know how it happened but she has pictures of us during- well you know- and she gave them to Cenred. That day you tried to apologize, I got a text from someone saying that they knew what I did and that I had to meet them. It was Cenred and he gave me two options. I could either let the pictures get leaked and ruin both my life and Morgause’s or I could do what Cenred asked and everything would be fine.”

“Morgana, what did Cenred ask you to do?” Arthur asked carefully. He was vaguely aware of the door opening and someone stepping in but he was too engrossed in Morgana’s guilt ridden confession to care. Besides, it was probably just Gwen anyways. 

“He said that all I had to do was slip something in Gwaine’s drink by the end of the week, some sort of liquid. I don’t know if it was a drug or a poison or what it was but I did what he wanted…”

“You slipped something into his drink?!” Yelled a voice that belonged to neither of the siblings but to Merlin who had come into the room. Merlin looked disheveled and panicked, his eyes wide and his chest heaving like he had run over. There was a book clutched in his hand and now barely restrained rage in his eyes. “What in the actual hell Morgana?!”

“They were going to ruin me, I didn’t have a choice!” She yelled back. That didn’t sit right with Merlin and he dropped his book before lunging at Morgana, struggling when Arthur grabbed him and held him back.

“This is all your fault! He’s gone because of you!” Merlin yelled, his seething anger practically stabbing Morgana in the heart. She had never seen Merlin like that and it scared her. His eyes were so dark and his jaw clenched so tightly Morgana was worried he would break his teeth. Morgana’s heart sank when Merlin said Gwaine was gone… had she, did she, was he dead?

“What do you mean he’s gone?” Arthur asked, getting Merlin to sit down on Gwen’s bed. 

“I mean I got back from the library after finding something I probably shouldn’t have and his entire side of the room is completely cleaned out. It looks like he never lived there at all.” Merlin explained. “So I came to see if you had seen him and then Morgana says that she poisoned him!”

It took a few minutes for everyone to process what had happened and Arthur broke the silence again. “Okay, so what did you find at the library and why is it so important? Could it be why Gwaine is missing?”

“Yeah, I would say so. So I've been having those horrific dreams where everyone in our group keeps dying which I thought was just my anxiety but turns out that it’s way more than that. I woke up from a bad one last night and Gwaine was asking me about it. He mentioned like English lit archetypes so I went to the library and then I found what I think is like a memoir written by the founder. There’s this crazy poem in it that kind of reads like a ritual and it fits with my dreams. It talks about people dying, six to be specific.” Merlin explained. 

“Oh that’s great.” Morgana mumbled. “I bet Gwaine gets poisoned in it, right?”

“Yes.” Merlin confirmed. “So, we need to find out what happened to my roommate.”


	22. Gone Gwaine Pt.2

The dorm room felt empty when Merlin returned to it. Gone were the empties stacked against the end of Gwaine’s bed, the messy stack of papers and textbooks piled precariously onto the corner of his desk, and the horrific poster of Gwaine in a Shakespearean costume they had blown up and printed out as a joke for him. Replacing them were empty white walls and an ugly blue mattress that seemed to taunt Merlin, reminding him that Gwaine was gone. Merlin didn’t know if Gwaine had died because of whatever Morgana had given to him or if he had been taken or simply just upped and left but he was hellbent on finding out. 

He barely registered getting up from his bed and leaving his room and was only dimly aware of the brisk air hitting his face as he practically rushed to the head office. The stairs hurt his legs but he ignored the burning and turned the sharp corner to the room, freezing when he came upon a horrific sight. 

The white brick walls were splattered with red, streaks and splotches sprayed across the brick as if it had been launched from a cannon. Merlin thought it was paint until the metallic stench of blood hit his nostrils and he turned, doubling over and retching into a garbage can. Several minutes passed before he was able to stomach standing back up and it was then that he noticed everything else. There were chunks on the desk and on the floor, huge hunks of human flesh scattered around with crusting blood. Flies had settled onto the body parts and were feasting like kings. Bits and pieces of fabric were scattered around as well and there was a telltale piece of tweed by Merlin’s foot, partially obscured by Merlin’s shoe. He bent down to pick it up and something else caught his eye. Stepping forward and squinting to get a better look, his eyes widened and he let out a scream. The last thing Merlin saw before he blacked out and hit the floor were the glassy eyes of Gaius’ decapitated head opened in terror. 

Merlin’s head was throbbing when he awoke and he rubbed his temples, blinking slowly as his eyes readjusted to the light. He was leaning against a wall and people buzzed around him like bees. Crime scene tape covered much of the room and two officers stood in the corner talking to who Merlin assumed was the forensic analyst. Movement caught Merlin’s eyes and soon enough he was looking directly at Cenred. “Mr. Emrys, you gave us all quite a scare there. Are you doing alright?”

It took all the strength Merlin possessed not to launch himself at Cenred and attack the other man for what he knew to be true regarding blackmail and poisoning. His jaw set and his posture stiffened momentarily before he rose to his feet, the room spinning while he regained his composure. He must have hit his head somewhere during his blackout. “Uh yeah, I’m fine. I just didn’t expect to uh see a body, you know. I was just coming to ask him some questions but I guess that I can't do that anymore.”

“That is true. Perhaps I can be of assistance to you?” Cenred offered, leading Merlin away from the officers and the screen to a more secluded place in the hallway. The emptiness of the hallway sent shivers down Merlin’s spine and his guard rose. Who knew what Cenred was capable of doing if he was set off?

“Yeah, you can. My roommate, Gwaine Macken, well he’s gone. I came into my room this afternoon and all of his things were just packed up. He didn’t tell me that he was leaving and I'm just concerned. Can you maybe tell me what happened?”

“I’m not supposed to share any kind of academic information with students about another student but given your relationship to young Mr. Macken, I will share this time. The rigors of university proves to be too much for him and he has dropped out of the theatre program and returned home to his parents. His letter of intent was given to me yesterday.”

“I see.” Merlin replied. It was too clean, far too clean, and it didn’t make sense. Gwaine wouldn’t just drop out without telling anyone, that wasn’t like him at all. It had to do with what Morgana had done and with what the entire group knew. Merlin knew it was dangerous to call Cenred put but he was too angry not too. He made sure they were completely alone before speaking again, his voice low. “You’re not going to get away with blackmailing Morgana. I hope you know that. We know what you’re doing and what you have been doing. We are going to stop you.”

Cenred’s eyes darkened momentarily before he laughed in Merlin’s face. “Good luck with that young man.” he chuckled before exiting and leaving Merlin alone

~

Gwaine’s parents, the Macken’s, were well known within the community as a rich couple who were brilliant but had far too much time on their hands. Merlin had found their address after a few minutes of hurried google searching and had headed out before anyone could stop him. This would sort out who was lying and hopefully give him a clue as to what had actually happened to Gwaine. 

Knocking on the door, he was greeted by two stern looking individuals. The woman was short and thin, a bird-like nose perched on an angular face and blonde hair pulled back taut in a bun. Merlin was reminded of his tenth grade English teacher when he saw her and that was not a good thing, the teacher had been batshit crazy. Gwaine’s father, at least Merlin assumed that that was who the man was, was tall and thin with features nearly identical to Gwaine. He lacked all of Gwaine’s friendliness though, replacing it with a frigid unapproachable air. “Can we help you, young man?” He asked. 

“Oh yes, sorry. My name’s Merlin, I’m a friend of Gwaine’s from school. I was just hoping I could speak with him. I was told that he had dropped out and returned home.” Merlin said. 

“It certainly isn't surprising to us that Gwaine has dropped out. The boy has always been foolish, hardly an academic sort, but I’m afraid that he isn’t here. We haven’t seen him since he announced his major and set out on his own.” the woman replied. “If we do see him, we will let you know though.”

“Please do. Thank you.” Merlin mumbled before he turned and left. This had just confirmed that Gwaine hadn’t just up and left. Clearly Cenred was involved.

~

The last thing Gwaine remembered before he woke up was comforting Merlin and falling asleep in bed with him. It had been a rough night for Merlin, well- more like a rough year, and Gwaine was just doing his best to care for the other boy. Merlin was one of those people that you just couldn’t help but love whether you wanted to or not. He was sweet and endearing and just had a knack for bringing people together. Not that it mattered because wherever Gwaine was now, there was no Merlin. 

Feeling along the ground Gwaine discovered he lay on stone tile thick with grime. He also discovered the fact that his hands had been bound behind his back with a coarse rope that left slivers in his wrists. There was a small spot of light filtering down from a flickering bulb and if Gwaine squinted hard enough, he could make out that the room looked almost circular and that he was in the middle. Lights flickered on and he had to squeeze his eyes shut to stop his head pounding in protest. 

“Good, you’re finally awake.” Came a voice, cutting through the air like butter. Gwaine knew the voice but he couldn’t quite recognize it and he couldn’t stand opening his eyes in the wash of bright light. "You and your little scooby gang have proven to be quite meddlesome in my affairs.”

“Be a better cult leader then.” Gwaine muttered, cracking an eye open to see who he was talking to. He was hardly surprised to find that it was Cenred but he was shocked when he saw more faces that he recognized. Each and every professor at the university had donned black robes and now stood in the shadows watching him. “Oh I fucking knew Professor Kilgarrah was in on this. Merlin owes me twenty.”

“I’m afraid that Merlin won’t be paying you that twenty dollars. No one in your friend group will be.” Cenred said. He crouched down and held Gwaine’s chin between two of his fingers before pushing the boy over. “I do have to give your group credit, you are quite clever to have figured it out so fast. It’s been close to half a century since we’ve had someone notice.”

“Half a… that would make you like 90. You don’t look older than 40.” Gwaine mumbled, finally opening his other eye. He didn’t understand why his head was pounding or how the room seemed to be spinning until he felt his hands shaking. It was that complete sense of disorientation that sent Gwaine into a spiral ending with vomit all over Cenred’s shoes. Cenred scowled and kicked Gwaine in the side, laughing sharply when Gwaine fell to the stone tile. 

“Precisely. You’ve heard the rumours of Henry Avalon and the deal he made with the devil so you know that six were sacrificed in order for power and knowledge. What came with it in the fine print was immortality… though it had a price,” Cenred began. “Every eighteen years, Henry was supposed to sacrifice six people who fit specific criteria in order to renew his contract with the devil. For the first few years or so there was no issue. No one cared enough to notice the missing students.”

“But then Balinor, Robert, and Annalise stumbled upon your conspiracy and threatened to expose you.” Gwaine said. He tried to get back to his feet but was struck down again by Cenred’s boot. Feeling the pressure on his chest made it hard for Gwaine to breathe and he certainly couldn’t interrupt Cenred anymore.

“They found out what was being done to the students of the university and they threatened to go public with it. We couldn't allow that to happen and Robert and Annalise became two of our sacrifices. We had intended to use Balinor as our final sacrifice but before we could, he took his own life. Ever since then we have been losing power and growing old and it is unacceptable. This year is the first year since that we can properly offer up our six sacrifices.” 

“So you’re Henry Avalon?” Gwaine mumbled, his words coming out as strained whispers. The pressure on his chest and head were so overwhelming that he could hardly focus. He had closed his eyes again to stop the light and noticed that his stomach was beginning to cramp, sharp pains racing through him. Whatever was happening to him wasn’t a run of the mill flu like he had initially thought. 

“I am.” Cenred confirmed, pulling Gwaine back up to his knees and setting him against the stony wall. “And you, you’re my jester. I see that you’re feeling the effects of Morgana's indiscretion. The poor thing was so afraid to ruin her life that she willingly poisoned you. It’s so tragic the way that friendships can sour. Unfortunately, you’re boring me and I do have an intro to ethics class to teach in 20 minutes so we should really end this tragic little affair. 

There was little ceremony as Cenred gripped Gwaine’s head and tipped it back, forcing his mouth open before allowing wine to trickle into Gwaine’s mouth. Gwaine choked and tried to spit it out but only succeeded in swallowing more. His vision began to blur and the last thing he remembered were the final words as Cenred left the antechamber.

_ The jester he’s called, with his glib golden tongue, to bring laughter and ease to each day _

_ He takes all life’s worries and lightens them up, a seducer when using wordplay.  _

_ Lust finds this type so hard to resist, a creature with traits that make humans pine _

_ ‘Till she cuts out their tongues, ending their gift, they are forced to swallow poisoned wine.  _


	23. Avengers Assemble

By the time Merlin had returned to campus with the information that Gwaine was in fact not with his parents, the rest of the group had assembled. Judging by how somber both Lancelot and Gwen looked, the other two had filled them in on what had happened. 

“So Gwaine is definitely with Cenred which means that he could be dead.” Merlin mumbled as he walked in. dropping down in defeat on the bed beside Arthur. “I can also see why he wanted to get away from his parents. They looked like they didn’t even care that he was missing. I couldn't imagine my mom caring so little for me.”

“Hey, don’t talk like that. We all know Gwaine and how much of a tough bastard he is. All of us were there when he dropped out of that third story window just for the hell of it.” Arthur said. “You said that you were looking at the archetypes and found the poem. What does it say about all of us and what happens?”

Merlin hesitated and then paused to think about his response to the question. He had to tell them, but he didn’t know how well it would go over. It was foretelling their impending deaths and none of them were particularly pretty either. Gwen would likely cry, Lancelot probably wouldn’t say anything, and Morgana would likely feel even worse when she heard about Gwaine. “Lancelot, you drown. Cenred holds your head down and then tosses you aside. Gwen, you try to save him and he cuts off one of your hands. You bleed out and die next to him. Morgana, you get strangled with a piano wire. Gwaine gets poisoned, and that just leaves Arthur and I.”

Gwen looked absolutely horrified and tucked her hands into the pocket of her hoodie before seeking Lancelot’s gaze, searching for any sort of reassurance. He seemed just as perturbed with his own fate but had the sense to reassure Gwen silently, squeezing her shoulder. “So how am I supposed to die?” Arthur asked, almost morbidly curious. 

“One of two ways. You either get stabbed through the heart or stab yourself through the heart.” Merlin mumbled. “I think you’re the last to die if I’m reading everything right but I can’t be sure.” 

“Well that’s just peachy isn’t it.” Arthur muttered. “How do you die?”

“That’s just the thing. I don’t actually know. It says that my death is by my choice so I’m assuming that I choose how I die but I don't know.” Merlin sighed. 

Morgana had been silent once Gwaine and the poisoning were mentioned, her skin pallid and her hands shaking. The guilt had been eating her alive already and knowing that Gwaine was supposed to die in that way only gave it more fuel to grow. It had been her fault that Gwaine had gone missing and now he was going to die because of her. “I know we all talked about death and being okay with dying but none of this is okay. This entire situation is insane and I just- when did this all get so royally fucked up?”

“When Merlin and I went looking for that book on the history of the university, that’s when this went wrong.” Lancelot sighed. “My parents always told me that this place was cursed and I should have listened to them.”

“Well you didn’t and now you’re stuck in this mess like the rest of us.” Morgana snapped. “What we need to do is figure out what to do next. They are going to come for all of us and pick us off one by one because that’s what they’ve been doing for a century. They’ve already killed 36, maybe 37 people, so what’s five or six more to them? We don’t matter to them, we’re just bodies for them to use as their own means to an end.”

“We can’t just sit around and do nothing, that’s not right.” Gwen replied. “They will pick us off, that is true, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t do something to try and outsmart them. We need to form a plan before they start taking us. Do you think they’ll have any type of weapons?” 

“Aside from knives and wires, I don’t think so. A gun would be too inconspicuous for them to use.” Merlin said, pulling his knee up to his chest. The idea of their deaths was enough to send him into a spiral but he hid it, knowing that he had to be strong for the others. They had no clue what was going on, well- less of a clue than he did. “They’d have to do the ritual in some sort of stony enclosed space with some soundproofing. I don’t think it would be underground but it would be secluded so they wouldn’t have to worry about people stumbling on them mid ceremony or finding the remnants of what they did.”

“What about the old chapel?” Arthur suggested. “One of my history classes covered the building and it would fit with the seclusion and the mild soundproofing. Apparently it was closed for renovations that were never completed and it was never opened back up again. It’s halfway on the path to the beach, sort of nestled back in the woods a bit. I’m pretty sure it has stone tile and shit too. If this really is some like satanic ritual, there’s no better or more ironic place to do it than in a church.”

“Okay, so if it is in the chapel and we know that they don't have any type of majorly dangerous weapon, what’s our next step?” Gwen asked. “I know we all need to get there but it would look suspicious if we were all just suddenly there at once. So how do we stagger things to make it look coincidental?”

“I’ll go first, I can text Cenred seeing as I have his number. I’ll say that I need to talk to him about Gwaine and what I did. That’ll make it easy for them to get to me.” Morgana said. By volunteering herself first, she felt part of the guilt slip away. It wasn’t enough to completely absolve her but it was a start. Morgana intended to pay the rest of the debt in blood if she had to. 

“Merlin and I can go together. We’ll just say that we’re some couple in the woods looking for the church to have a snog in. I’ll blame it on my roommate not letting me have the room or something.” Arthur suggested. The suggestion was brash and Arthur actually doubted that he would be able to follow through on the couple part of it, it just didn’t feel right. The timing was off considering what had happened with Gwaine and his father. 

Merlin’s eyes widened at the suggestion and he felt his ears heat up. Whatever he had expected to come out of Arthur’s mouth, it certainly hadn’t been that. It was great that Arthur was comfortable enough to even suggest that but the timing, the timing was so horrendously awful that Merlin cringed. Gwaine had just gone missing, had just been poisoned, and Arthur had a snog on his mind? The utter lunacy of it all was startling. “That’s fine with me.”

That just left Lancelot and Gwen. “I’ll walk back to my dorm alone and I’ll take the back route so that it’s more secluded. That should make things easier for the group to grab me.” Gwen said, hopping off of the bed so that she could stretch out. 

“And I’ll just figure something out.” Lancelot shrugged. He seemed the least bothered out of everyone by the idea of their death and ritual sacrifice being involved. His parents had always been superstitious around him as a child and they had warned him about the university, that a great heart of darkness lay at its very core. They had claimed the devil lived there, that he took those he deemed worthy, and that they were never seen again. In hindsight, Lancelot should have listened to his parents but there was nothing he could do about it now. 

“So we’re going to let ourselves get kidnapped and then what?” Arthur asked. “We can’t just go up to a professor and nerf him, that’s a little something called homicide in the first degree.”

“We interrupt the ritual by any means necessary. If they can’t complete it then no deal can be struck and their plans will fall through. It’ll disrupt them for eighteen more years which is more than enough time to dismantle the entire organization, I hope.” Merlin added. “We all know what we’re doing so it’s time to split. In case we all die, I just want to say that all of you have been the best friends I could have ever asked for. I wouldn’t have survived this year without you and if we make it out of this and finals alive, I will finally let you put me in drag.”

“We’re making it out alive.” Morgana said

~

Cold whipped around Morgana in a frenzy and she pulled her jacket tighter around her shoulders, ducking her head down as she trekked towards the chapel. Her breath came out around her in little white clouds as she focused on putting one foot in front of the other, knowing that if she stopped for even a moment she would turn around and run. The trees towered over her, making her feel small, and forcing her to reflect on her own feelings as she neared the chapel. 

She had willingly poisoned Gwaine just to save her reputation. What kind of person did that? She had betrayed her morals, betrayed her friends, and in the end it didn’t matter anyway. Already she had lost her father and nearly her brother so a few friends seemed miniscule in comparison. Being close to death didn’t scare Morgana, she had been there a few times. She hardly remembered it when her mother had died but she remembered being thirteen and in the hospital with a ruptured appendix. The buzzing of the hospital lights and the smell of alcohol and sanitizer had haunted her long past her departure from the hospital and even now, the smell overwhelmed her with panic. Even then, there was no certainty of death. But tonight was different. Someone would die. 

Snapping out of her thoughts, Morgana realized she had been crying. Before she could wipe them away, she felt a gentle hand caress her face and looked up into the eyes of Morgause. This threw everything off, she had been expecting Cenred. “My poor darling, whatever are you crying for?” Morgause purred, sliding her hand down Morgana's face and stopping it on her shoulder. 

“I can’t take it anymore.” Morgana mumbled, playing up the tears though the emotion behind them was all too real. “I lost my father and my brother is trying to apologize for what he did but I just can’t forgive him. Then there’s what happened between us and I just- I haven’t been able to forget you. I know that it’s wrong because of the whole you’re my professor thing but I can’t help how I feel. And then there’s Gwaine. I poisoned him, poisoned a friend, and now everyone's turned against me. It’s too much! I can’t take it anymore.”

“I’ll help you, child. I’ll help you take away your pain.” Morgause murmured. She took Morgana’s hand in hers and led her deep into the heart of the chapel. 

~

Walking along the secluded path through the campus at midnight, Gwen wrapped her sweater tighter around her shoulders. While the air was cold, it was her situation that chilled her to the bone. She hadn’t wanted to go to Avalon University, she had always thought it was full of rich snobs who flaunted their parents' money and that simply wasn’t to her liking. The only reason she had gone was Merlin. Merlin was an angel but the boy was a walking disaster who needed someone with more than half a working brain cell to make sure that he didn’t self-destruct. At least he had introduced her to Lancelot. 

Gwen had been charmed by the other boy almost right away, even if he had ruined her favourite blouse. He was sweet and charming, just awkward enough for Gwen to find it endearing and not irritating. Adding to it that he was entirely a gentleman and had never made her uncomfortable made Gwen genuinely believe that soulmates were a thing and that she had found hers. It was how Merlin had said they would die that filled her with an immeasurable sense of dread. Bleeding out was a horrific way to die, nevermind the fact that she would be losing a hand. It wasn’t the act itself that frightened her but the realization that if it occurred and she somehow survived, there was no way she would ever be able to complete her degree and help others. That was a fate worse than death for Guinevere, and the very real possibility of it left her with a feeling of emptiness that resonated deep within her. 

Thinking so deeply about the potential of her survival meant she hardly paid attention to her surroundings and to those around her. Reaching the darkest part of the alley between her building and the campus bookstore, Gwen felt the hairs rise on the nape of her neck. Someone was with her in the alley. She told herself to relax, that she had to go through with this, but it still didn’t stop her heart from hammering away in her chest. Before she could so much as call out to see who was there, she felt a rough cloth cover her mouth and nose. Breathing in the vapors, Gwen succumbed to darkness. 

~

Why did it have to be drowning? Out of every single way that he could have possibly died, drowning was by far the worst for Lancelot. Having grown up in the north surrounded by nothing but rocks, lakes, and trees, Lancelot knew how to swim and knew water like the back of his hand. He had learned how to swim before he had learned to walk and truly water felt like a second home to him, spending every minute he wasn’t working during the summer swimming in the lakes. The award winning varsity swim team at Avalon had attracted him to the school and he had even managed to get a scholarship for it. Being so competent near water meant that drowning frightened him. There was no reason he should ever be in the position to drown. 

He found himself pausing by the fountain where Robert Harlow had been drowned and couldn’t help but reflect on the irony. Robert had been captain of the swim team, had been well liked, had been investigating the ritual, and he was mercilessly slaughtered for it. The only difference between the two of them was that Lancelot knew it was coming and he felt powerless to stop it. 

Lancelot could see the reflection of a hooded figure come up behind him and he closed his eyes as if to accept what was happening. The final thing Lancelot felt before the world faded to black were the cool droplets of fountain water splashing on his cheek 


	24. The Beginning of the End

“Why did you have to suggest that we had to be the ones to snog in the woods?” Merlin mumbled as the pair crossed the crosswalk and entered the parking lot where the trail to the beach started. The suggestion was scandalous and Merlin hadn’t expected it at all. Even now, twenty minutes later, he was still trying to process the fact that Arthur had basically suggested they just make out in front of everyone else in the group.

“I wanted to talk to you and I know that it takes longer to get to the chapel so now I have more time.” Arthur replied. “And we really should make this believable so be a man and hold my hand.”

“You have the worst timing of anyone I’ve ever met.” Merlin muttered. He slipped his hand into Arthur’s, unsurprised at how smooth it was. It did feel nice though, Merlin had to admit. They seemed to slot together perfectly. Merlin practically had to tear his thoughts away from how nice it was back to what they were currently setting out to do. “But go ahead, we aren’t close enough to the chapel to fake making out yet.”

“I came out to my father.” 

“You came out to your father, to the man who literally disowned Morgana? Why in the world would you burn your last bridge like that? Do you not realize how stupid that was?” Merlin muttered. The anger stemmed from Gwaine’s absence and the anxiety building in Merlin about their impending plan which would more than likely fail catastrophically. 

“Merlin, are you fucking serious? You have no right to be angry with me about something that I chose to do.” Arthur replied, clearly pissed. “You were the one who told me that I had to be authentically myself if anything was ever going to happen and now that I am, you’re suddenly angry. I don’t understand why you’re so mad about this? It’s not like I shot a puppy or anything, all I did was tell my father the truth.”

Merlin sighed and stopped walking, turning back to face Arthur. He did look angry, his eyebrow twitching in annoyance, but more than that he was scared. He was scared that Gwaine would be dead, that they would find his body and there would be no more smart remarks or kind words or obnoxious donkey laughs from him. What if he had to watch Lancelot drown? Or Gwen lose her hand? Being so utterly powerless in stopping his friends' deaths haunted Merlin. He should’ve said something when the dreams started, he should’ve told them not to go to the chapel. Why hadn’t he?

Arthur frowned when Merlin stopped and he began to pick up in his body language, the way in which his shoulders tensed and how Merlin had clenched his jaw close to the point of aching. Merlin was scared. Taking Merlin’s hand in his, Arthur sat them down on a bench along the path. “You’re scared, aren’t you?”

“What do you think?” Merlin shot back, his tone rather defensive. “Of course I’m scared, what’s happening is literally insane. My best friend was poisoned and kidnapped by my philosophy professor to be sacrificed in some demonic ritual and all of my other friends are supposed to be sacrificed too, including me! I had dreams about every single one of us dying and I couldn’t tell anybody because the supernatural wasn’t supposed to be real!”

“You had dreams about us dying and you didn’t tell us, they must have been horrible.” Arthur frowned. “I’m not going to get angry with you for keeping that from us because I get it. It’s this crazy life altering thing that takes away all of your control and certainty about the world. You’re having a crisis of faith and it’s okay.”

“But it isn’t okay, that’s the thing!” Merlin yelled, his voice rising in volume. His voice was beginning to crack and tears began to shine in his eyes. Everything was building up and he needed to release it, to explode. “None of this is okay!”

Arthur sat there in silence as he watched Merlin’s perfectly calm façade crack. First came the raised voice and the cracks which were followed by tears and clenched fists. It was heartbreaking and while Arthur wanted to say something, being silent and listening was the best option. 

“I made it into Avalon and all I wanted to do was study what I love and have a good time with my friends. I was going to graduate and find a boyfriend who didn’t mind if I talked about morality and ethics for hours at a time. But none of that is ever going to happen because of that damn book! I started something that I can’t just abandon that is going to get people killed all because I was too curious. All my life I thought my father had just left us but I found out about that and I nearly destroyed the relationship I have with my mother and the one I have with Gwen. So every relationship I’ve made is going to end up broken and I’m going to end up alone and dead. Do you have any idea what it feels like to be completely isolated from everyone because of something you did?”

“Merlin, I lost my entire friend group in the span of three hours and then lost my father about a week later, so I know what it's like to lose everything.” Arthur said. “All of us are terrified at the thought of dying so young but it’s unavoidable at this point and you know that deep down. What’s left to do is pull yourself together to make sure that you can help the rest of us stop whatever is going to happen. If you aren’t fully in the headspace and ready to stop this craziness, someone will get hurt and your worst fears will be realized.”

As Merlin listened to Arthur, he slowly began to calm down. What the other boy was saying made perfect sense. If they were going to stop their professors and finally take down whatever they were doing, there needed to be clear heads and calmed emotions. He was still frightened, nothing would ever erase that from his mind, but knowing that he had others rallying with him to stop this lessened the sting of it. Despite all of the emotions swirling around, Merlin found himself drawn back to Arthur’s volunteering of them. “Okay, I think I’m a little calmer now. I keep thinking about the fact that you volunteered us to be that stereotypical teenage make out sesh. I don’t get why it wasn’t Gwen and Lancelot who went.”

“Because I wanted to clear the air with you. I wanted to apologize for what I did in the library and to tell you that I think I’ve finally figured things out. Also the whole coming out to my father thing.” Arthur said as he stood up, keeping Merlin’s hand in his as he began to lead them back down the path to the chapel. “I know that I haven't exactly been the nicest person to you and I regret it. When we first met I was spoiled and entitled, I had almost no experience with the real world and with treating people with respect, and you confused me. I don’t know what it was about you but you made me start to question things about myself.”

“You’re saying that I made you less of a royal prat and more of an actual human being.” Merlin chuckled. “I’m glad I could help. I still can’t believe what Morgana told you to say you wanted to sleep with me. Do you have any idea how much that caught me off guard?”

“I would assume a lot considering even your ears went red when I said it. I had no idea what I said and I won’t lie, it isn’t exactly a lie now that I know what it means.” Arthur admitted. “I haven’t been able to get you out of my head ever since our sort of but mostly failed kiss. And then I heard you hooked up with Gwaine and I don’t know, I guess I was jealous or something. I thought you two were gonna be a couple but I think I just want you to myself. God that sounds selfish and I know that I’m rambling again.”

Merlin’s amusement was clear on his face and he couldn’t help but laugh. He had never seen Arthur ramble or get nervous but it was radiating off of him in waves. Clearly the other boy at least had some inkling of what he wanted now and Merlin didn’t mind that he was the object of said desire. If anything he was flattered that he had been the cause of someone figuring out who they were. Their lives were in peril, there really wasn't going to be a better chance for anything to happen, so it was now or never. “Arthur, shut up.”

Merlin’s abrupt comment did shut Arthur up and he looked at Merlin in disbelief for a moment before he realized what was happening. He wasn’t exactly the smoothest when it came to romance but he had no trouble in pulling Merlin close to his body. “Make me, Emrys.”

Merlin rolled his eyes at Arthur’s antics but he was charmed and grinning despite them. He felt the planes of Arthur’s body against his and before he had time to convince himself to back out of things, he pressed his lips to Arthur’s and kissed him. Arthur’s lips were soft and Merlin seemed surprised at that though he didn’t mind. Their hearts seemed to beat in tandem, a steady quickening of pace, and the emotion was dizzying. 

Neither noticed the steady approach of two hooded figures until it was too late. A loud thud echoed into the night and Arthur fell away from Merlin, crumpling to the ground like he weighed nothing. There was a bloody stone in the figure’s hand and Merlin’s eyes widened when he realized what was finally happening. They had finally come for them, there was no turning back any more. 

This was it, this was the beginning of the end. 


	25. A Hero Emerges

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might hate me after this... oops

The chapel was a testament to the time in which it was built, a personal monument to Henry Avalon and his own beliefs. Once lined with beautiful plum carpets and oak pews, the stone tile in the interior had fallen into disrepair and the pews lay discarded against the wall. Strong wood had corroded into rotting planks and mice made their nests within said cracks, chitters and squeaks emanating from within the plum rugs had become threadbare from years of nesting rats and now they blocked out what little moonlight filtered through the cracked stained glass windows. The saints of old: Joan of Arc, Francis of Assisi, and Katherine of Lima, had long since served their purpose of protection and their faded smiles reflected the fall from grace that the holy space had experienced. What had changed the most was the altar, the holy space where rites had been performed. Beautiful alabaster marble had been coated with dirt and flaking trails of dried blood ran down its sides, obscuring the messages of peace and love with an almost intent. Gone were the ornate chalices and candelabras and replacing them were instruments of torture and black candles flickering with an eerie glow. 

Hooded figures had congregated around the group of students in the middle and in the middle of them, a man in a red robe stood prominent. A commanding air about him, the others seemed afraid of his power and of his will. They were subservient and he was their master, their domineering controlling executor. “Look at these sacrifices, these lambs we will lead to slaughter. So easily they are lured here, so easily they fall into our hands. It makes me sad. This would be much more pleasant if our folly were worthy of our efforts and of our lord. Prepare them for the ritual.”

The hooded figures nodded and each took a student to prepare for the ritual. For the outlaw, a dress of black and a ruby amulet tied tightly around her throat. The black a representation of her distaste for society and the ruby amulet to project her force outwards, to symbolize the silencing of her polarizing voice. For the caretaker a dress of white flowing to her feet and a ring of sapphire on her finger. She was pure and angelic, tied to earth by the gem around her finger. Losing the ring, losing her hands, would sever her connection to the mortal realm and allow her soul to ascend. For the jester, a shirt of the deepest gold and a bracelet made of thick iron. Here was a man who wished so deeply to have the bounty of the kings but was forever shackled to servitude by his lack of wealth. For the explorer, a robe of the deepest azure. Seeking and searching for his purpose in life and how life itself worked, the robe hid much of what he never bothered to pay attention to; himself. For the hero, a tunic of purple and a sword marked with runes of a language lost to humanity long ago. He was royalty, stationed above the others, but he too was folly for his own sword. And for the lover, the final victim, there was nothing. He was nothing for anyone, constantly morphing and changing so often that he hardly knew who he was and therefore could not possibly know who he was to everyone else. Each sacrifice would play their part and in doing so, achieve what God had intended them to.

~

The last of them to rouse themselves from the stupor of unconsciousness was Merlin and he was dimly aware of a pounding in the back of his head as the fog began to clear from his mind. Glancing around what he presumed to be the chapel, his eye fell upon the others who had all successfully been taken or made their way to the chapel. Lancelot and Gwen had been placed next to each other and they looked relatively unharmed, a few minor bruises on Gwen’s arms. The strangest thing seemed to be their clothes, how they had changed. It had to be because of the ritual, that was the only explanation. Morgana looked unharmed as well and Merlin thought she had been crying but the minimal light made it hard to tell. His eyes landed on Gwaine who flashed him a weak thumbs up and Merlin felt what he could only describe as an uninhibited relief rush through him. Gwaine hadn’t died yet, they could still stop this entire thing. 

“How wonderful that you’ve finally decided to join the land of the conscious, Mr. Emrys.” The hooded figure said, pulling back his hood to reveal his face. It was Cenred, to no one’s surprise, but he had changed and it shook Merlin to his core. Cenred’s normally attractive face had been marred, runes carved deep into his skin. His skin was practically torn open and an angry red, drying blood slowly flaking off as the muscles beneath his face shifted. The runes, Merlin didn’t know what language it was, filled him with a deepening sense of dread as if they weren’t meant to be seen by any human being let alone carved into one’s face with a sharp implement. “I must admit that I was surprised to find that all of you had come here largely of your own volition. Perhaps you simply wished this unfortunate business to be over but something tells me that you six have concocted some foolish plan in order to try and stop this.”

“Why do this, that’s my question for you. This whole idea that the founder summoned the devil for power and knowledge is completely insane and so is this entire ritual. All of it’s just some legend and the level of delusion you must have in order to believe that it actually works is incredible.” Merlin muttered defiantly, glaring at Cenred. Merlin’s defiance began to falter when Cenred tipped his head back and laughed with his entire body. 

“You still haven’t figured it out, have you?” Cenred laughed. He paused and jerked a finger in Gwaine’s direction. “Even that one figured it out before you. Honestly, you’re in religious studies and you have so little belief in anything outside of science. It’s almost pathetic, truly.”

Gwaine looked noticeably worse than the others, barely able to lift his head from where it lay on the stone floor. His skin had paled drastically and the litany of bruises on his face stood stark in contrast. Opening his mouth to speak, Gwaine’s eyes widened when he realized what had happened during his spell of unconsciousness. 

“What, cat got your tongue?” Cenred laughed, crossing the room. He grabbed Gwaine by his hair and practically wrenched him over to Merlin, dropping the other boy like a sack of potatoes. Gwaine tried to speak again but all that came out was a garbled mess of random noises and a large glob of blood which landed on Merlin’s leg. Looking up at Gwaine and really truly examining his friend, Merlin's heart dropped into his stomach. Gwaine’s tongue was gone, cut or ripped out of his mouth. Before Merlin could stop himself, he turned his head to the side and retched. 

“How could you do that to another human being!” Morgana yelled indignantly. Unable to contain her temper she got to her feet and lunged at Cenred, only to be thrown back into the wall with a sudden thud. Her head hit a corner and she fell onto her hands and knees, blood beginning to rush from the wound. It was superficial but more than enough to scare her into silence, black and white dots blurring her vision. 

“I wanted to live, it’s as simple as that my dear. I did it a hundred years ago and after a while, cutting out a tongue just doesn’t bring the same pleasure that it used to.” Cenred shrugged, his eyes lighting up again when the group began to clue in to what Gwaine had already figured out. “Yes, you are reaching the right conclusion. But Cenred you’ll say, that has to be impossible. Henry Avalon died a hundred years ago after founding the university. Unfortunately you would all be wrong. It really has been a wonderful 100 years, society truly has changed for the better.”

“So you’re Henry Avalon then.” Gwen mumbled, scooting forward so she could take a look at Morgana’s injury. “Which means that the ritual actually works. So you got power and immortality then in exchange for six innocent souls.”

“That is correct.” He nodded, shrugging off his robe. Beneath the robe, his smooth skin had fallen victim to yet another knife and more runes had been carved into him. The skin was almost more inflamed than on his face, the edges rough and the wounds oozing a liquid that wasn’t quite blood. “But something went wrong eighteen years ago and ever since then I’ve been aging rapidly. I looked no older than twenty five but now I look closer to forty five. It’s a terrifying notion, aging.”

“Balinor took his life and interrupted your ritual before it was complete.” Arthur mumbled, slowly piecing things together. “And you didn't have all six sacrifices so you couldn't reap the immortality. You’ve been trying the ritual every year since but you’ve always failed because the cycle got thrown off. That’s why you were so careless this time, you’re desperate.”

Cenred narrowed his eyes at Arthur, a spike of anger running through him. Everything the boy had said was true but that tone, that was insolence and he wouldn't stand for it. He waved his hand and had two of the other figures drag Arthur forward into the middle of the chapel. “I can’t kill you, not yet, but that doesn’t mean I can’t make you regret ever being born.”

Cenred closed his hand into a fist and drove it straight into Arthur’s face, cartilage crunching underneath his knuckles and blood dripping from the wound. Arthur's head shot back and tears of pain filled his eyes as he registered that his nose had been broken. Merlin began to lunge forward but Gwaine stopped him, his look one of warning. Now was not the time to play the hero. Arthur brought his head back up to look at Cenred and grinned. “Morgana hits harder than you do, that’s a little sad don’t you think?”

“Oh I am going to have so much fun with you, boy.” Cenred muttered as he pushed Arthur onto his back and had two others restrain his arms so that he was unable to fight back. “There are a surprising number of tortures that the human body can withstand, truly it is incredible. I wonder how much you can take? Gwaine survived poison and having his tongue cut out, I wonder if you would.”

Arthur narrowed his eyes and watched as Cenred crouched down. The silence was palpable and Arthr brought his foot up to kick Cenred away, landing squarely on his stomach and pushing the man away from him. “Try it and you’ll lose a finger. You want to sacrifice us all so just kill me now and start everything.”

Cenred began to respond but cut himself off before he could divulge the one thing that could dismantle everything. This child was exceedingly good at getting under his skin and it was beginning to irritate him. The kick to the gut had hurt and in his frustration, Cenred rose to his feet and turned away. Returning to Arthur, there was a sledgehammer in hand and even Arthur knew where it was going. His chest began to heave with panicked breaths and when he felt the heavy steel of the sledgehammer connect with his knee, he began to scream. At first there was a dull ache but then the cartilage began to buckle under the wait and when it shattered a sharp pain ripped through Arthur, drawing out his pained scream. 

“Stop it, you’re hurting him!” Morgana screamed, lunging at Cenred again only to be shoved back to the ground. Seeing Gwaine nearly dead on the stone tile and seeing her brother being beaten was enough to bring Morgana to tears. The hooded figure who had initially held her back, removed their hood, revealing Morgause.

“Does it look like we really care what we do to him, or to any of you?” She scoffed. “All of you students are so entitled, thinking that we owe you everything just because you made it into university. Honestly, killing six of you a year is such a highlight for me. Especially the ones like you who don't have to work to get into the university, who drink and party and think they’re better than everyone else.”

“Need I remind you that YOU were the one who seduced me and then blackmailed me.” Morgana spat. “You’re also the one who’s engaged in cult activity where you murder six innocent people for some man who literally only serves his own interests and no one else’s. You get nothing out of this, and still you do it. Obviously you’re the idiot.”

Morgause couldn’t curb her temper and backhanded Morgana, watching with a twisted satisfaction as the girl’s head whipped to the side and a handprint began to form on her cheek. She had had enough with Morgana’s mouth and when she received silent permission from Cenred, Morgause reached for her garrote. Made especially for her with thick piano wire and wooden handles, the device would have been beautiful if it wasn’t so capable of murdering another human being. 

“I think you’ve said enough.” Morgause said simply. Expecting Morgana to fight her only seemed to excite Morgause even more and she wrapped the garrote tightly around Morgana’s neck, tightening it. Blood began to bead around the wire and Morgana began to desperately thrash and claw at the wire, trying to pull it off of her neck. The others looked horrified but could do nothing, Merlin already desperately trying to make sure that Gwaine wasn’t going to die on him while Gwen and Lancelot were separated by the other figures.

A hood figure tore Lancelot away from Gwen and without a smidgeon of remorse, gripped the back of his head tightly and forced it under the water in a basin. Lancelot began to thrash and fight against the strength of his captor but it was nearly impossible as he felt his lungs beginning to burn. 

It took two figures to pin Gwen down and hold her hands out in front of her on a chopping block. One turned his back for a moment and returned with a large butcher knife. He marked a line on Gwen’s wrist with a permanent marker and then lined up his blade before raising it high in the hair and swinging it down. 

When Cenred felt that Arthur had suffered enough, he turned his back on the boy and focused his attention on Merlin. Crouching down, Cenred gripped Merlin’s chin tightly and forced him to look into his eyes. “And now it is your turn, my dear lover. Your fate is different than the others but you know that already. You may choose how you die, it is as simple as that. Any way you like will do.”

Merlin was sitting there, eyes wide as he watched his friends in pain. Gwen was sobbing as the hooded figure tried several times to chop off her hand. Her wrist bones were visible and blood poured from the wound, making Merlin sick. Lancelot’s head was still underwater but he didn’t know if his friend was just unconscious or dead, his body limp under the boot of the hooded figure. Gwaine was unconscious again, his pulse flickering weakly whenever Merlin reached down to check. And Morgana, Morgana looked the worst. She had been screaming at first but her screams had quieted and all she was doing now was gurgling, blood leaking from her mouth as well as her neck. Tears streamed down her face and Merlin could see how afraid she was. 

“You want me to choose how I die.... That’s beyond sadistic.” He mumbled, looking past Cenred to Arthur who had managed to drag himself up to a sitting position. “I understand wanting to live forever but why in the world would you agree to kill six people? None of us have done anything to you, we’re just trying to find our place in the world.”

“I was trying to do that too when I found this ritual for the first time. I was set to inherit everything from my family, to be healthy and prosperous, but then I got sick and knew I was going to die. I wasn’t prepared to die so I did that the ritual asked and he appeared to me, promising me untold power and life if every eighteen years I would sacrifice six souls.” Cenred explained. He dragged Merlin to his knees and held him up by his shirt.

Merlin had been one of the only ones who had been privy to the poem and the ritual involved with the archetypes and their deaths so he seemed to understand things better than the others. It had surprised him when Cenred hadn’t killed Arthur for being so insolent but it was starting to make sense now and Merlin grinned despite everything. “You didn’t kill him first because you knew it would throw everything off, just like it did when my father died.”

Cenred paused and his eyes widened when he realized that Merlin had found the other ritual and knew about it, knew enough to know what could stop it. Anger overcame him and he wrapped a hand tightly around Merlin’s throat, shoving him back against the wall in the hopes of strangling the life right out of him. Merlin clawed at Cenred’s hands but his grip was far too strong and Merlin was finding it hard to breathe. His pulse thundered in his throat and his eyes widened when he realized what was happening.

Arthur had staggered to one knee and had reached for the discarded sword that Cenred had so carelessly left beside him. It took a lot of effort for him but he managed to call out for Cenred. “Hey, let him go!”

Cenred let go out of pure shock and Merlin dropped to his knees, gasping for breath. Black dots swarmed his vision and he looked up just in time to see Arthur point the sword towards himself and drive it home.


	26. Failure to Comply

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo it's reading week next week for unis and your girl has two fifteen page papers due plus midterms and exams. So have another chapter in honour of that.

Merlin was dimly aware of a horrendous scream echoing through the chapel and the realization that the scream had been torn from his own throat brought him out of his shock. Lunging forward, he managed to catch Arthur as he fell back and both tumbled to the floor. The stone tiles dug into Merlin’s knees but he ignored the shooting pain and propped Arthur up the best he could, his chest pressed against Arthur’s back. Blood bloomed across Arthur’s shirt, a spreading stain mirroring Merlin’s ever increasing panic

“Why would you do that, you absolute idiot.” Merlin muttered as he pressed a discarded hood to the wound, trying to stem the bleeding. He knew it was futile but he wasn’t going to stop it, not while Arthur looked like he had a fighting chance. Blood continued to spread and coated Merlin’s fingers, staining them red. 

“I couldn’t let the rest of you die..” Arthur whispered, pausing to cough. His voice was weak and blood dripped from the corners of his mouth. He had never thought about what death would be like but his notion was nothing like it actually was. Pain coursed through him but it was slowly dulling as if he were falling asleep. Dimly aware of how much he was losing feeling, Arthur tried and almost failed to raise his hand. He brought his hand up to Merlin’s face, resting it on his cheek for a few moments before it fell limply to the ground. 

“You..” Merlin muttered. His voice catching in his throat. Tears began to burn his eyes and despite himself, they began to fall freely. This wasn’t how things were supposed to be going. They were supposed to stop the ritual and escape scot free, not end up like this. Gwaine was unconscious on the ground and Merlin couldn’t tell if he was even breathing anymore. Gwen lay on the ground, her head laying askew on Lancelot’s chest and neither looked conscious. Morgana had given up fighting and lay face down in a puddle of her own blood, hair spread out around her and wet with her blood. “Everyone else is dead… We didn’t stop it…”

“I need to… die before you..” Arthur managed to get out. He did his best to wrench himself away from Merlin and pulled the sword out, the weapon clanging to the ground with a metallic thud. Blood gushed steadily from the now open wound and Arthur’s pallor changed drastically. “Merlin, I’m sorry..”

Having clued in to what was happening, Cenred grabbed Merlin and began to drag him away from Arthur. “I have worked too hard for this to fall apart now.” 

Merlin struggled and fought against Cenred but it was no use, the older man was far too strong. Cenred threw Merlin to the ground and pinned him down with a boot on his chest, his grin wicked and eyes glinting with malice. Reaching for the discarded sledgehammer, Cenred raised it into the air. Watching the steel crash into the boy’s skull and hearing the crunch as his skull caved in would be more than satisfying. Merlin had been a pain at every step of the journey and seeing his head split like a watermelon would do more than just satisfy Cenred’s sick urge for destruction. “I am done with you, Merlin. You can join your friends in death.”

As Cenred brought the sledgehammer crashing down through the air, everything changed. Merlin closed his eyes, afraid to live his last moments staring into the eyes of his dying friends, and braced for the impact of the sledgehammer. When it didn’t come, Merlin opened his eyes and his heart sank. Arthur had stilled, his eyes glassy and glazed over, and Merlin knew he was dead. Cenred had turned away from Merlin, the sledgehammer discarded on the tile. Whatever was happening wasn’t part of the ritual. 

The light was vanishing from the room, twisting as it was sucked into the middle of the altar. All of the heat began to dissipate and Merlin could see white puffs of his breath begin to appear in the blackening room. All at once the temperature plummeted to freezing temperatures as everything became pitch black and then, as if by magic, a strange red smoke began to pour over the altar. Spilling forth and moving with a lifelike intensity, the smoke snaked towards Arthur’s corpse. It filled Merlin with an intense dread though he couldn’t bear to look away as the smoke poured into Arthur’s open mouth and nostrils. For a few moments it looked like nothing had happened but then Arthur began to move. It was slow at first, a simple hand movement, but then it escalated. Arthur sat up and like a marionette puppeted by an inexperienced puppeteer, he jerkily rose to his feet. Everything looked wrong, his shattered kneecap impossibly supporting all of his weight and his broken arm hanging limply from his side. The thing that frightened Merlin the most was Arthur’s eyes. They were red. 

“I wish I could say I’m surprised that you’ve failed yet again Cenred but unfortunately I am not.” Arthur sighed. His voice had changed and Merlin knew that whatever was speaking wasn’t Arthur. It was deep and grating, the vibrations sending terror running through Merlin’s very soul. 

Cenred’s eyes widened and despite himself, he dropped to one knee and hung his head. “It was all going according to plan but the boy ruined it, that’s hardly my fault. I did my part, now give me my immortality.”

“You did your part, really?” Arthur laughed. He paused by Cenred and pulled the other man to his feet, turning him around to stare at the carnage he had caused. “Five of them are dead but one survives. That is not doing your part, that is failing the ritual and failing me. I gave you leeway last time because of your years of loyalty but never again, not after this failure. Your soul is forfeit and you are mine.”

Merlin was still trying to process the fact that the devil was even real and what that meant for his own soul as well as the fact that his friends were all dead so it shocked him when he heard himself speak. “Wait, don't kill Cenred. Not yet.”

Arthur paused and a grin spread across his face as he took in Merlin’s appearance. He was pale and shaking, bruises blooming on his throat and on his knees. Blood had soaked his shirt and had stained his hands and face. This child was traumatized, that much was obvious, but there was something even more curious. His soul should have been blackened from the trauma and fear but it wasn’t. Merlin’s soul shone bright and it captivated the lord of darkness. 

“And why should I spare his life?” Arthur asked, watching Merlin rise to his feet. “I have prolonged his life for a hundred years and his soul is mine. He could not hold up his end of the bargain and his soul is forfeit.”

“I don’t want you to spare him, he doesn’t deserve it.” Merlin practically spat. “He’s sacrificed thirty six innocent souls and there is no way that he deserves to continue living. I want to make a deal with you. You are the devil, right? Deals are kind of your thing.”

Arthur raised an eyebrow in genuine surprise. He hadn’t expected Merlin to approach him with a deal. Surely the child knew how dangerous it was, that he had been making deals since the beginning of time and had never had a mortal match his level of skill. Admittedly it took a great deal of courage to even approach making a deal and he figured it was at least worth consideration. “What did you have in mind?”

“You’re going to take Cenred's soul and therefore his immortality which he has no use for. Divvy up his remaining immortality and restore my friends lives. That’s what I want.”

“You- how can you think I would possibly allow that?” He laughed, holding his gut as he doubled over. There were tears of amusement in Arthur's eyes as he stood back and he cocked his head to the side to study Merlin. “I have six souls now, why would I simply give them up?”

“Because they don't deserve to go to hell.” Merlin replied. Having studied hell for practically half a year by this point, he had formed his own theories about what sent people to hell and it certainly wasn’t wearing mixed fabrics or eating shellfish on a Sunday. “Commandments in the bible aren’t what send people to hell. It’s all about guilt, that’s the crux of the matter.”

“Oh how clever.” the devil grinned, slowly clapping his hands. This mortal was quick, there was no denying that, but was he quick enough to escape unscathed? “You’re one of the lucky few who’ve figured that out. The last one wrote a comic about me being a detective, how ridiculous is that?”

Merlin didn’t find that particularly amusing and sighed. His head was pounding and his entire body ached from the stress it had been put under but there was no time to complain or room for error. “You can only take souls who have doomed themselves because of guilt and that’s why you haven’t just taken the souls of everyone here. You can’t take them because they don’t feel any guilt. All of my friends, they died without guilt.”

“Except for good old Arthur.” He grinned, spreading his arms in a mocking bow. “He’s a very comfortable meat suit, let me tell you that. And not too bad on the eyes, I can see why you fancy him so much. But poor Arthur, he was being crushed by guilt. Granted taking his own life did alleviate most of it but there was still enough for me to claim him. Is that a problem?”

“Yes, there is a problem. Arthur shouldn’t be going to hell, he isn’t evil.” Merlin said. “I want a deal with you, a deal to spare Arthur from hell and to bring him back to life.”

“You must be incredibly desperate if you’re attempting to make a deal with me.” He laughed, barely able to contain his glee. “Aren’t you worried that some loophole will cause you to forfeit your soul or that in ten years I will come for you and then you’ll be nothing? I really don’t think you’re considering this fully or even understand the scope of what I can do to you.”

“I’ve read practically every piece of literature this university has on and it’s quite an extensive collection so I’m well aware of how monumentally stupid this decision is but I’m sure you’re very clearly aware of how little I care about the personal consequences.” Merlin muttered. “Bring Arthur back, I don’t care what it costs. Aside from murder, I will do it.”

“Why do you care for him so much? I don’t understand your unwavering loyalty to him after all he’s done to you.” the devil said. Mortals baffled him and Merlin was no exception. They were so loyal and emotional and if it could have made him sick, it would have. 

“It’s not about what he did to me. What it’s about is how he’s grown and changed as a person. Arthur was an arrogant douchebag who cared for no one except himself when we first met but he began to change. He started to open up to others and he started to figure out who he was as a person. Realizing his sexuality was a huge breakthrough for him and I get that he was scared and that that was why he lashed out at me and Morgana. I was angry at him, sure, but then he apologized for it. There were no excuses for what he did, just a simple apology and then actions to show that he was making an effort to improve himself. He comforted me when I found out about my father and he never pushed me into anything I didn’t want. Arthur is a good person and he doesn’t deserve hell.”

The devil looked surprised at the response and couldn’t deny that it did have some merit. The darkness in Arthur’s soul had lightened significantly since they had briefly met eleven years ago. Perhaps a deal was worth it with this Merlin fellow, it could add some insight to someone with a soul as pure as his. “You have a bright soul, Merlin. It almost hurts my eyes if I am being candid with you. I’ll entertain a deal with you. I cannot claim the souls of those who are not guilty so I will bring them back to life and I will erase their memories of the supernatural going ons around campus. I will bring Arthur back and erase his memory of the incident as well. All I ask in return is to possess you for a brief moment. I want to see if there is anything at all in your soul, in your memories, that is dark. I refuse to believe that you are pure of heart and action in every way.”

“You want to possess me in order to see what my darkest memory is, that’s it?” Merlin asked.

“That is it.” The devil nodded. 

“Do it.”


	27. The Trolley Problem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1000 hits, holy shit thank you! I didn't think this story would get such a positive reception. I'm honestly so glad you all seem to be liking it.

_ “Merlin, you do realize that he’s a senior and you’re just a freshman right?” Gwen asked, laying on Merlin’s bed with her feet kicking lazily in the air and a pillow hugged to her chest. “I totally get that he’s like an eligible bachelor for the gay community at school but you literally just came out and he gives me bad vibes. I really don’t think this is a good idea.” _

_ “Gwen, I know that you’re worried but I can take care of myself.” Merlin replied. Being fourteen and in what he believed to be the prime of his life, he hardly took the time to consider what others were saying. Feeling like he had lost out on years of being fully out of the closet (though in reality he had lost no time at all) Merlin was ready to throw himself at the first mildly attractive boy who showed even the slightest bit of interest in him. That boy happened to be Mordred, one of the most beloved seniors at Ealdor high. Mordred was popular and attractive though he had garnered something of a love ‘em and leave ‘em reputation. _

_ “Just promise me that you won’t go into a room alone with him, okay? I know you can take care of yourself but I don’t trust him. I wish you would let me come to the party with you but I know that it’s invite only and how exclusive it actually is. Text me when you get there, okay?” _

_ “Yes, mom.” Merlin sassed, rolling his eyes at Gwen. He understood that a lot could go wrong but he had been talking to Mordred and he hadn’t had any vibe indicating that anything could potentially go wrong. “You’re keeping my mom company tonight, right?” _

_ “Yes Merlin, I am. Now go to your party, I’m pretty sure Mordred is downstairs trying to charm your mother.” Gwen sighed. _

_ Merlin nodded and without so much as another word, he rushed downstairs as excitement flooded his chest. This was his first big high school party and he had been invited by the object of his affection. There was no way this could go wrong.  _

_ Mordred was average in height and build but he had a pretty face with a strong nose and intense eyes. There was a certain air of arrogance around him but Merlin was too lost in the other boy to even notice. He leaned up to kiss his mother’s cheek before following Mordred out to the car and sliding into the passenger seat. “I still can’t believe that you noticed me, let alone that you invited me to a party. How did you notice me anyway?” _

_ “Well Merlin, you’re a pretty good looking guy so of course you caught my eye. That and we don’t exactly get a lot of people coming out at Ealdor so we have to support each other, form a tight knit community you know.” Mordred shrugged. He had noticed Merlin that very first day of school and something told him that the other boy would be easy pickings.  _

_ The party was in full swing by the time the two of them arrived and Mordred led Merlin inside, pausing by the stairs. Flashing lights danced on the walls and throngs of people mingled with each other. The heady scent of alcohol and sweat wafted around the home and it made Merlin’s nose itch. “Not to be lame, but what exactly does one do at a party? I haven’t exactly gone to a party before.” _

_ “Drink, mostly. There’s also mingling and dancing and obviously upstairs.” Mordred shrugged, pausing to hand Merlin a cup filled with punch. Merlin wasn’t a drinker and hadn’t tried alcohol before but didn’t want to appear lame and took a large sip, nearly choking as he began to cough.  _

_ “God that is awful.” He muttered, pausing to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand.  _

_ “Well nobody drinks because they actually like the taste. Everyone drinks to get drunk.” Mordred explained. _

_ Merlin had no compulsion to drink but driven by the fear of somehow becoming a social outcast, he succumbed to the temptation. He remembered very little from the first sip up until he finished what must have been his third or fourth cup. The lights bouncing off of the walls shot daggers into Merlin’s eyes and the spinning room did little to quell the nausea roiling in his stomach. Merlin looked rather out of sorts when Mordred found him, taking his hand to lead him upstairs.  _

_ “I do believe you’ve had enough to drink, Merlin. Now come on, you need to get away from this music. It’s time we spent some time alone together.” Mordred said, taking Merlin up the stairs and into a bedroom. Closing the door behind them, Mordred turned to look at Merlin. “You look like you’ve been having a fun time. The alcohol certainly brings a nice flush to your cheeks.” _

_ Merlin, having seated himself on the bed, looked up at Mordred and grinned crookedly. That had been a compliment and it wasn’t an unwanted one either. Under normal circumstances, alarm bells would have been ringing in Merlin’s head but the alcohol had dulled his senses and he was hardly aware of where his own hands were. “I think I should get home, my mom is probably up waiting for me.” _

_ “Merlin, I invited you here to have fun and maybe get some.” Mordred muttered, his mood seeming to turn on a dime. He knew freshmen were gullible, especially those who had just figured things out and planned to exploit that with Merlin. Hearing that Merlin was so apprehensive was the last thing Mordred wanted. “At least make out with me.” _

_ Merlin glanced down at his feet, biting his lip. He wasn’t ready to try anything with another guy yet, figuring everything out was still too fresh in his mind, but at the same time this was Mordred LaFey. No one said no to Mordred and still had any sort of positive reputation at school. Maybe a kiss would be fine? As long as it didn’t go any farther than that. “I guess that’s okay.” _

_ Mordred grinned in triumph and pulled Merlin to his feet, hands cupping his face possessively as he pressed his lips against the other boy’s. Almost immediately Merlin knew that letting Mordred kiss him had been a mistake and he tried to pull away, shaking his head. Mordred narrowed his eyes, fury filling them as he stood tall. “Are you saying no to me? No one says no to me.” _

_ Mordred closed the gap again and forced his lips onto Merlin, refusing to take no for an answer. There was absolutely no reason his advances should have been refused by this gangly awkward freshmen who had no idea how lucky he was. Merlin was frozen in place as his drunken mind tried to process what was going on. Gwen had been right, Mordred had just been trying to use him. Before Merlin could process and formulate a plan, he felt his hand connect with Mordred and saw the other boy fall back. Time seemed to slow and Merlin watched with growing horror as Mordred’s head hit the corner of a nightstand, a sickening crack echoing in the room. Mordred, too stunned to get up, slumped against the nightstand as blood began to gush from his head.  _

_ “I didn’t-I’m sorry.” Merlin stammered, tearing his eyes away so that he wouldn’t be sick. He stumbled over his own feet as he scrambled back, hitting the bed with a thud. Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror, Merlin paled. His skin was flushed and his eyes dilated with fear, his flannel missing a few buttons and hanging loosely off of one of his shoulders. He knew that he should stay and make sure Mordred was okay but he was too panicked, his brain addled with emotions which the alcohol only confused even more.  _

_ Merlin didn’t remember how he got home that night, only that he ran into the kitchen and collapsed into his mother’s arms as he broke down into long drawn out sobs _

_ ~ _

As the memory began to fade from Merlin’s mind, he felt the cool slide of tears down his cheeks. That memory was more than just a reminder of what could have been, it was a reminder of what Merlin was capable of. 

“You killed that young man.” the devil grinned. Still wearing Arthur’s face, it twisted into a cruel grin filled with glee. There was something about it that made Merlin shiver, as if the devil had just stared into his soul and taken a piece of him. “You scorned his advances and then you left him to bleed out. You do have darkness in you, Merlin.”

“I didn’t kill him, he was alive when I ran out!” Merlin yelled, taken aback by how outraged his own voice sounded. He was not a murderer, and it had been self defense. It was justified, wasn’t it? “But you got what you wanted, now bring them back!’

“I could bring them back but not quite yet.” He grinned, swiping his tongue across his bottom lip. Wearing the object of Merlin’s affections was proving to be rather entertaining and he hadn’t this much fun in millennia. “I want one more thing from you before I do what you want me to. See, I have this little thing where I can’t just bring souls back without exchanging them for something else. Call it equilibrium, if you will. Cenred’s soul is already mine so that isn’t an issue but I want you to kill him.”

“You want me to kill Cenred…” Merlin repeated, his eyes widening in horror at the thought of it. “So I kill Cenred and then you bring all of my friends back. That’s way too good to be true, what aren’t you telling me?”

“I can’t believe you would think that I would ever hide contractual stipulations from you.” Arthur replied in mock offense. “You kill Cenred and your friends come back to life with no memory of any of the supernatural or the cult things that have gone on. All I get in exchange is the knowledge that your soul has been tainted and that when you die, I will likely get your soul.”

“You’ll erase their memories of everything that’s been going on?” Merlin replied. The idea of all of them not having any clue as to what went on was appealing but Merlin wasn’t too keen on the idea of tainting his soul and going to hell. As if he sensed Merlin’s trepidation, the devil continued on.

“Well kiddo, look at it this way. You’re conducting a train and you come to a split in the tracks. One side has one person and the other has five, which side do you go to?” He asked. “Naturally, you go to the side with just one person. Why kill all those other innocent people when you can kill just one person?”

“Don’t quote the trolley problem at me.” Merlin snapped, surprised by his own anger. “I understand the ethics behind this whole thing but theoretically killing someone is very different than actually killing someone.”

“I knew I hated philosophy majors for a reason.” The devil muttered, running a hand over his face in exasperation. This was taking far too long and he honestly just wanted to watch Merlin kill someone. “But the clock is ticking. Either kill Cenred or lose all of your friends and this handsome boy toy of yours.”

“Fine, I’ll kill him.” Merlin muttered. If he didn’t do it now, then Merlin knew that his resolve would falter and he couldn;t afford to lose five people and allow the waste of a human life that was Cenred to keep living. 

The devil had been keeping Cenred docile and restrained up until this point, stepped to the side to allow Merlin to have his fun. Despite the boy’s reservations about his actions, the devil knew that Merlin was capable of great darkness, and he had a feeling that there would be a twisted sense of satisfaction once the deed was underway. Merlin seemed hesitant but yanked Cenred to his feet anyway, shoving him against the altar.

“You’re not going to kill me.” Cenred said, rather matter of factly. “You're too weak for it. You failed to save your friends the first time and you’ll fail to save them again. All of your family is like that, your father certainly was.”

“Shut up.” Merlin growled, shocked by the anger rippling through his voice. He had no plan for how he wanted to kill Cenred, just that it had to be done and the sooner the better. “You know nothing about my family, about what I've been through. All you’ve done is kill innocent people, you’re a monster!”

“Am I now?” Cenred chuckled, amusement glittering in his eyes. He didn’t seem afraid to die but Merlin knew better than that. “I was destitute and dying when I summoned the devil to make my deal, a desperate man caught in an unfortunate circumstance. You’re not unlike me, Merlin. Your desperation is so evident.” 

“There’s a difference between you and I, Cenred. I haven’t murdered innocent teenagers in a selfish bid to prolong my life because I have human decency.” Merlin muttered. Already his resolve was beginning to crumble and he had to force himself to pick up the dagger next to his feet. Could he really go through with the act, he didn’t know. Truly Merlin would be no better than Cenred if he took a life in cold blood but then again, saving his friends from whatever lay beyond the realm of mortal existence. 

“You’re not better than me, Merlin. No human being is truly better than another. All of us, we are corrupt and disgusting. Even those of us who show kindness are not truly kind beings. Mother Teresa, for all of the good that she did in the world, was still cruel and flawed behind closed doors. Gandhi was misogynistic and priests have their fun with poor little altar boys, not a single soul can escape temptation.”

“Just stop.” Merlin mumbled, the dagger beginning to shake as his hand trembled. Cenred was evil, there was no denying that, but he was still a human being. He still had a soul and morals (even if they were twisted beyond recognition), had emotions and thoughts that made him who he was. Snuffing out a human life wasn’t as simple as stabbing him and being done with it, there were far too many moral implications involved. 

Sensing Merlin’s trepidation and having become quite bored with the entire affair, the devil simply took Merlin’s hand in his own. As if to mock the boy by guiding his hand in the body of his lover, the devil linked their fingers and drove the blade home. Merlin felt the resistance as the blade hit bone, a jarring shock racing up his arm, and then he felt the metal sink into pliant flesh. There was a sick sort of squelching sound as blood began to gush around the knife and Merlin had to turn his head, once again retching at the sight of all of the blood. 

“You’re no better than me.” Cenred grinned, his voice a ragged whisper as blood leaked out of his mouth. The silence that followed was deafening and Merlin sank to the ground, hands covering his ears as sobs forced their way out of his body. 

He had saved his friends but it had cost his soul. 


	28. Heaven Upside Down

Out of all the things in all of the readings that he had done during the course of religious studies 101, none of them had prepared Gwaine for what Heaven was like. Sure there were always the assumptions that it was fluffy clouds and pearly gates, naked cherubim flitting around on tiny wings while the residents wore robes and conversed on chaise lounges. Others thought heaven was rooms upon rooms where the occupant lived their best memories and their best life on repeat for all eternity. Gwaine had found that concept particularly fascinating during his repeated binges of supernatural and wondered if that was what his heaven would include. Perhaps the one that intrigued him the most was the heaven seen in The Good Place. Objectively it made the most sense, that everyone’s actions landed them in heaven or in hell. Even the idea that the afterlife was run by a bureau of people in suits seemed rather fitting. 

He had started watching the show just so he would be able to understand whatever the hell Merlin was talking about when he started trying to study for philosophy. Glancing around, Gwaine took in the eggshell walls and the wooden shelf with stacks of books and a potted cactus on it as well as the office desk laden with office supplies on it. The man sitting in front of him was older, maybe fifty five or so, and Gwaine was struck at how uncanny the resemblance was to Ted Danson. Reaching down to pinch the skin of his hand, Gwaine’s eyebrow shot up when he realized that he hadn’t felt any pain. “I don’t feel pain, that’s not normal. I’m dead, aren’t I?”

“You are.” the man confirmed. “You’ve made it to heaven, congratulations. I would go over everything you’ve ever done right in your life but this isn’t a comedy about philosophy and I'm really not Ted Danson. You just seemed to like this version of heaven so that’s what we went with to make the transition a bit easier.”

“Okay, I guess that makes sense and I’m not going to question how I even got into heaven because frankly I really don’t want to be sent to hell. I also can’t remember how I died but I'm assuming it has to do with the professors and the whole ritual thing. Am I allowed to see the others?”

The man, an angel Gwaine assumed, began to reply but cut himself off when a cell phone began to ring. The man said nothing as he answered, simply curtly nodding before hanging up. “It appears that it isn’t your time after all. We will be seeing you again, many years down the road it seems.”

As quickly as it had started, it was ending and Gwaine felt himself falling back into the darkness

~

Ever since he could remember, Lancelot’s vision of heaven had been influenced by his parents and their own world views. They had never discussed what heaven was actually like but rather how to get into heaven. It was simple, really. All one had to do was lead a pious life and remain as virtuous as possible. Being as close to godliness as possible was the only way to get into heaven. 

If heaven was going to be anything, Lancelot imagined it would be an idealized version of life. All of his dreams and aspirations would have come true and he would be living with his sweetheart. Maybe they would have a dog and a garden in their little place out in the country. He would be some big time engineer with more money than he knew what to do with and his wife, his perfect wife, would be a career woman who gave him a run for his money. 

When he came to, Lancelot found himself wrapped in bedsheets as light filtered through a window. Confused by what was going on, he reached for the clothes that had been discarded on the tiled floor beside the bed. Once dressed, he ran a hand through his hair and then began to amble his way sound to try and get to the bottom of things. The house seemed cozy and comfortable, well trodden carpets underfoot and paintings hung up on the walls. When Lancelot happened into the kitchen and saw the back of a woman, he raised an eyebrow. 

“Gwen?” 

The woman turned and her face lit up at the sight of Lancelot. “Oh thank god, I thought you were just some random man. Do you have any idea where we are?”

Lancelot shook his head before he rushed forward, wrapping his arms around Gwen in a tight hug. He had no idea where they were or how they had even gotten there but it was different from what he last remembered. Last he recalled, they had been in the chapel and Cenred had been going on about finally succeeding. 

“Do you- do you think we’re dead?” He asked her.

“Well we are in some strange house that looks suspiciously like what I’ve always wanted my house to look like and I haven’t been able to find the others so yeah, I’m pretty sure we’re dead.” Gwen replied. “And I don’t think this is hell either, it's not all fiery and pitchforky.”

“So if this is heaven and we are dead, I think that that means that Cenred succeeded in his ritual but I can’t be sure about that.” Lancelot mumbled. “If we knew about the others or could find them then maybe this would get resolved. Do you think we should try looking for them?”

“That’s probably a really good idea.” Gwen agreed, sliding her hand down so she could link her fingers with Lancelot’s. The fact that there was a heaven didn't shock her, she had always believed in the afterlife, but the fact that her heaven was shared with Lancelot was enough to mildly freak her out. Gwen had always been skeptical about the idea of soulmates but if they actually were in heaven, it looked like the whole thing was actually real and that it was possible to find a soulmate. 

“We’ll get to the bottom of this, Gwen. I promise.” Lancelot murmured. He led her to the front door and without much thought opened it. He realized only as they had already stepped out that there was nothing but darkness and that it had already begun consuming them. 

~

Morgana and Arthur had never been raised to believe in an afterlife, their father far too busy to indulge any flights of fancy such as that. As far as they were concerned, once you died that was it. There was no fluffy cloud fantasy with angels and harps, just the cold hard ground and maggots devouring your rotting corpse. 

It came as a shock when she woke up beside Arthur, her wide eyes meeting his own. Where the hell were they?

The room looked like something out of a child’s fantasy. Sky blue wallpaper with clouds mirrored with green carpeting on the floor, building blocks scattered next to a bookshelf filled with well known children’s books, and several small tables and chairs formed a semi circle. 

“Morgana, this is our kindergarten classroom.” Arthur muttered as he rose to his feet. Building within him was a sense of anxiety and dread as he began to recognize minute details; the Tim Horton’s receipt crumpled up in the trash can, the finger-painted turkeys drying on a clothesline, and a beaten old teddy discarded behind the rocking chair. “It’s the day that mom died…”

“Bullshit. This is some drug induced trip or something, it has to be. I barely remember this day, we were like 5. The only other explanation is hell and there is no way that either of us were sent to Hell. Hell doesn’t exist.” She protested, fear rising into her voice. Hell wasn’t real, she wasn’t dead. There was no way that her world was crumbling around her again. 

“Morgana, listen to yourself! You were attacked by what you said was a ghost, you have the scar to prove that! If ghosts are real then so is hell and I hate to break it to you but we’re here and we’re here because of me.” Arthur muttered, hands clenched into fists at his sides. 

Morgana had never been particularly scared of damnation given her lack of belief in religion entirely but ever since the mess with Cenred had begun, she had begun to face her own mortality. Her mortality left her with a bitter taste in her mouth, an all encompassing fear that she would never have enough time to do what she wanted to do. This fear had been made worse by Uther and how he had shut her out of his life. If her own father, the man who had raised her for all of her life, was capable of shutting her out completely then what was there to stop everyone else she had ever known from shutting her out too?

“What did you do?” She asked, unable to hide the tremor in her voice. If Arthur had been the reason for them being condemned to hell, she would kick his ass straight into super hell. 

“I’m the reason that mom is dead.”

“She died in a car accident, you’re not the one responsible for her death.” Morgana said, arms crossing over her chest. 

“I am. I left my teddy bear in the classroom and I made her turn around for it. If she hadn’t turned around then we wouldn’t have been hit and she wouldn’t have died. So, yeah, it is my fault.”

“Arthur, you absolute idiot, you are not the one responsible for her dying!” Morgana yelled, her voice raising without her intending it to. “You were not the man driving the truck and you weren’t the one who t-boned the car and sent us flying into that guardrail. Have you really been blaming yourself for what happened all these years?”

Glancing down at his feet, Arthur nodded his head. He had never really thought about it but he had been blaming himself for it. Had he really needed their mother to go back for that teddy bear? Probably not. But it had happened anyway and there really wasn’t anything he could do about it now. Truthfully it wasn’t even that their mother had died that had guilted Arthur into damning himself, it had all been Uther. “I have. Dad made me feel guilty about it.”

“Of course he did, because why wouldn’t he.” Morgana muttered. “I swear I am going to haunt his ass for everything that he’s put the both of us through. I get that he lost his wife but that was no excuse to be such a bastard to us and the fact that he disowned us for something we can’t help is absolutely fucking ridiculous.”

“I know that what he’s done hasn’t been fair to either of us and I want to be mad at him but I can’t be mad at him any more. When I outed you and we weren’t talking, I felt like he did. It was this complete lack of self worth and of love, like the entire world was frozen and has stopped spinning. It made me angry and cold but more than anything, it frightened me. I think dad needs to know that he isn’t alone, that we still love him even if he’s been a dick.”

Morgana shook her head and sat down on one of the small tables, picking up the teddy bear and hugging it to her chest. “I don’t want to forgive him and I don't know if I would be able to even if I could try. I understand that he’s still upset about mom and that he was raised to think a certain way but we’re still his kids and he should still love us no matter what.”

“Unfortunately that’s just not how things worked out. Nothing seems to work out for us.” He sighed, sitting down beside her. “I had actually fixed things with Merlin, we could have been together, but now that isn’t going to happen. It sounds so dumb but I’m really glad that I met him. There’s no way I would have been able to figure things out if I hadn’t constantly been forced to interact with him. That and that little phrase you told me. Thanks for that by the way.”

“You’re very welcome.” Morgana grinned. “Let’s just agree that there really isn’t a point in either of us feeling guilty for something that we couldn’t have helped. It’s not your fault that mom died and it isn't our fault that our father is a raging asshole most of the time.”

Both seemed content at what had been discussed and warming calm washed over them. Arthur began to smile and wrapped his arms around Morgana in a hug, just as the two began to dissipate into nothing. 


	29. Have a Bad Trip?

There was a peculiar cool dampness on Merlin’s forehead that began to rouse him from his sleep. The last thing he remembered had been the chapel and everything that had gone down. 

_ “It took you far too long to kill Cenred, honestly. It wasn’t hard to stab him, now was it?” the devil asked, peeling Merlin’s fingers off of the knife’s hilt before withdrawing it. Bringing the blade up to his mouth, the devil swiped his tongue through the blood and exhaled in delight. “And his blood, it’s positively bitter. Truly it makes my heart quiver.” _

_ Merlin blinked slowly, tearing his eyes away from the still corpse of Cenred and slowly raising them to look into Arthur’s. Not Arthur’s, he corrected, but the devil’s. Arthur’s eyes were gentle and kind despite how often he was an arrogant prat but the devil’s, the devil’s were dark and endless. There was no peace in those eyes, there was nothing but an overwhelming sense of dread and power. Those eyes stared into his soul and Merlin turned quickly on his heels, doubling over and retching as the finality of what he had just done came crashing down. His body shook and spasmed for an eternity before he shakily rose to his feet, wiping the back of his mouth with his hand.  _

_ “I did what you wanted, now bring my friends back and end this.” Merlin muttered.  _

_ “A deal is a deal, I suppose.” The devil sighed dramatically. Toying with Merlin had been fun, he almost didn’t want it to end. “There is, however, one more minor stipulation in order for us to finish doing business.” _

_ That was the final straw for Merlin and with a strength he didn’t know he possessed, he found himself pinning the devil to the altar by his throat. “I have had enough of your goddamn stipulations and minute details! Just bring my friends back or I swear I will find a way to kill you.” _

_ A perverse thrill ran through the devil when he felt Merlin’s hand wrap around his throat, the cool marble of the altar digging into his back. This mortal did have a dark side and that possibility was positively appealing in every way. Knowing that he was wearing the body of Merlin’s lover was yet again something that inspired deliciously dark fantasies deep within the recesses of his mind. “You know the stories Merlin. Seal the deal with a kiss.” _

_ Merlin’s grip around the devil’s throat and his resolve faltered for a moment, the angry façade dropping back to reveal a conflict so strong the devil could see his imminent undoing. But as quickly as the façade had dropped it reemerged and Merlin’s jaw clenched tightly. There was no romance, no build up to kiss, just a swift press of lips against each other before Merlin’s world faded to black.  _

The cloth was beginning to annoy Merlin and he brought his hand up to push it off of his head. “Get that off my head.” He mumbled. 

“See, I told you guys that he wasn’t dead.” 

Merlin knew that voice, that playful ‘I told you so’ tone, and immediately his eyes shot open. The room was fuzzy at first but as his vision cleared he began to make out faces. Gwaine was hovering over his head, a look of satisfaction plastered on his face, while the girls sat on the bed beside him and Lancelot sat at his feet. The first thing Merlin did was shoot up and throw his arms around everyone he could reach, forcing the group into a massive bear hug. His grip was tight, almost rib crushingly so, and the hug lasted far longer than what was appropriate. 

“Merlin, you’re kind of squishing my boobs.” Morgana chuckled, laughing when he pulled with an awkward sorry. 

“We were getting worried about you. You banged your head pretty hard, we didn’t know if you needed to go to the hospital or what.” Gwen said, having been the last to pull away from the hug.

“I banged my head? On what? I don’t remember doing anything like that.” Merlin mumbled. He dimly recalled that the devil had promised to wipe the group’s memories of what had transpired so this whole situation must have been what had replaced everything. 

“We were going to the chapel to check it out. You were telling us about the history of it and all the cult stuff that happened.” Lancelot explained. “On the way there you tripped on something and smacked your head on a rock. You’ve been passed out for like eight hours.”

“Oh, uh, I guess that makes sense.” Merlin mumbled, running a hand through his hair. While he was elated to see everyone, it was dulled by the memories of what had happened and what he had done. Would he have to lie about what had actually happened for the rest of his life?

“What were you dreaming about? You kept saying our names and I’m pretty sure you kissed someone in it too, your lips were definitely moving.” Gwaine said. “So was it like a sex dream or was it something so traumatizing that you’re going to be forever scarred by the memory of it?”

“Our professors were all involved in running a group where they sacrificed six students a year to the devil in order to maintain their immortality. Professor Cenred led the group but it turned out that he was actually the founder of the university and was honestly an aggressive prat. Morgana poisoned Gwaine, and every single one of you died except for me. I made a deal with the devil to bring all of you back in exchange for killing Cenred and here I am. So yeah, it was definitely a traumatizing dream.”

“Jesus, sorry I asked.” Gwaine mumbled. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what that had been like and decided that Merlin didn’t need to talk about it anymore. It was forgotten as soon as he had said it as far as Gwaine was concerned. 

“I think you really need to stop researching so late at the library, honestly.” Lancelot chuckled. “Anyway, I’m really glad that you’re okay. I’m sure all of us are, especially Arthur.”

Merlin hadn’t seen the slightest glimpse of Arthur up to that point and the mention of his name brought Merlin spiraling back into reality, that panicked tightness in his chest returning. The devil had promised to bring Arthur back but had he kept up his end of the bargain. Clearly his panic was noticeable because the others stepped back to give him some room to breathe. 

“I just need to take a breather, I’ll be right back.” Merlin mumbled quickly, exiting the room rather quickly. 

Snow was falling in clumps as Merlin made his way outside and the white flakes stood in stark contrast to his dark hair. Laughing almost ironically, Merlin considered the fact that the colours were representative of his own struggle with his morality. He had killed a man, he didn’t have morals anymore. There was no black and white, only shades of grey that he knew he would never be able to escape from. Merlin had thought of where he was going but found himself climbing the stairs to Arthur’s dorm and knocking on his door, praying to any god that was out there that Arthur was alive and kicking. At this point, Merlin would have given anything to be able to see Arthur again, to hear his voice call out in annoyance. 

Merlin knocked on the door though he didn't expect anyone to answer and his heart began to hammer when he heard the knob twisting. The door opened far too slowly for his liking but when it was fully opened, Arthur came into view. He had just come out of the shower, wet hair plastered to his forehead, and Merlin was dimly aware of the snowman pajama pants Arthur had on. 

“Arthur…” He murmured, his voice soft and forlorn as if he couldn’t believe that he was seeing the other boy again. 

Arthur raised an eyebrow at Merlin’s expression. He didn’t understand why the other boy was so freaked out, they had seen each other the previous day and he was just about to go over anyway. There was a tense sort of shift in Merlin’s posture and Arthur moved aside to let him in, closing the door before turning back to him. “Are you okay? You look like you’ve been to hell and back.”

Hearing Arthur’s voice seemed to shock Merlin back into reality and he launched himself at Arthur, wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug and burying his face in Arthur’s chest. This was real, the flesh and bone beneath Merlin was real. He had done it, he had brought everyone back. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Arthur asked, a frown gracing his face. He wrapped one arm almost protectively around Merlin and shuffled over to the bed, sitting down with him and keeping him close. Merlin looked spooked and that hug was so fiercely tight that Arthur could hardly breathe. 

Looking up at Arthur, Merlin realized that he could hardly explain everything that happened without sounding like a madman. That being said, not explaining why he looked so paranoid would also make things worse. There was a fine tight rope line Merlin had to walk and he just prayed to god that the net underneath was stable enough. “Remember how I was doing that project for my western occultism class on the whole founding of this university and the conspiracies surrounding it?”

“Yeah, of course I do. You were spouting off about the cults and some crazy conspiracy theory about professor Cenred for like 5 hours straight. And I would know considering I timed you.” Arthur chuckled. “It was right after the campfire cuz I was ranting about how the founding of the police itself was inherently corrupt and that the system just can’t work in today’s modern society.”

“Yes, well when I hit my head I had this whole elaborate dream about the cult theory actually being true and then all of us dying and getting hurt because we wouldn't stop investigating. It just felt so real and I just- I’m awake and I think everyone is okay but I still feel like everything is a dream. What if I wake up and I'm still in that chamber and all of you are dead?”

Arthur frowned when Merlin began to explain the dream and the more he listened, the more he understood why Merlin looked close to breaking. Seeing your friends die in a dream was bad enough but it sounded as real as Merlin described it, it made even Arthur’s stomach turn. Merlin was alive and this was the real world but Arthur knew it would take some convincing.

“You say that you might still be dreaming, Merlin, but I don’t think that you are.” He said, tilting Merlin’s face up to look him in the eyes. “You say that we all died in your dream and that you’re haunted by it which is fair. But if I were dead, I wouldn’t be holding your face in my hands right now. I wouldn’t be able to look at you and see the boy that’s managed to win over my heart, that's managed to make me fall hopelessly in love. Merlin, I am real and you are safe. That’s a promise.”

Merlin stared up into Arthur’s eyes, feeling the soft caress of his thumb on his cheek, and he knew that this was real. Tears began to well in his eyes, though he didn’t know if it was from joy of seeing Arthur again or from guilt of what he had done, and he felt Arthur brush them away. The gesture was tender and affectionate, managing to quell the emotion that ran rampant through Merlin. Whether it was a compulsion or just a want buried deep inside, Merlin didn’t know- He felt himself close his eyes and lean in close, his lips brushing Arthur’s. 

It took a moment for Arthur to register what was happening but he was more than willing to kiss back, one hand planted firmly on the side of Merlin’s face. He didn’t know what had spurred on this sudden burst of affection but it was what he wanted from Merlin, what he wanted for himself. Slowly pulling away, Arthur smiled softly at Merlin. “This is real, we’re real. I know I've been awful to you and I truly am sorry. At first you confused me, made me own up to things about myself that I never wanted to face up to, but now I’m comfortable with who I am. Now I know that what I feel for you isn’t wrong, that wanting to be with you is something I can actually have and something I can do. So, if you still want to date me despite what I’ve done I won’t say no.”

It took Merlin a moment to understand what Arthur was saying and he felt a grin rise to his face before he could stop it. “I think you've earned a chance at dating me so yes, we can date.”

The acceptance was simple but it meant a lot to both parties. For Merlin it meant that he had come out of his shell and survived a horrific ordeal. He had found a guy who was willing to change for him, willing to become a better person, and that was something rare indeed. Not to mention that Arthur had died for him, even if he didn’t remember it, and that alone meant the world to Merlin. For Arthur, it was the idea that someone who had at first hated him had come around to giving him a chance. He had always been cast aside, treated as if he were an object or just an asshole (He couldn't deny that he was an ass sometimes), so meeting someone who was willing to accept him as he changed and bettered himself meant everything to him. 

This small little gesture was so simple but it solidified that the world was changing for the better. 


	30. Winter is Coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Midterms have been kicking my ass. Here's another chapter in honour of my suffering.

Once Merlin had left the room, those who remained turned to each other with raised eyebrows. He had seemed panicked and shocked as if his dream had been more than a dream. 

“You don’t think that his dream actually happened and that this is some alternate timeline where our memories got wiped, do you?” Gwaine asked, the first to break the almost deafening silence. The theory was absurd, obviously, but maybe it had some merit? Regardless, it would have made for one entertaining story. 

“There’s no way it happened, none of that stuff is real.” Morgana replied. “He definitely went to see Arthur though and is probably going to end up finally getting together with him. It’s been like four months, they damn well better be together by now.”

“Obviously he went to Arthur, and that’s okay. There’s this bond between them that none of us are even going to come close to understanding.” Gwen shrugged. “Anyway, I have to get going. I have somewhere to be and so does Lancelot. We’ll see you guys after finals.”

“See you guys later.” Lancelot smiled before they left, Gwen’s hand securely tucked into his. 

By then the snow had begun to fall in flurries, mounds and heaps forming on the bushes and on the fire hydrants along the main stretch of campus road. Gwen found the snow beautiful, she always had ever since she was a child, and she paused just before they reached her car. Packing the snow into a ball, she grinned and launched it at Lancelot. It landed square on his back and he turned around, eyebrow raised. “Excuse me Guinevere, was that a snowball I just felt?”

“Maybe.” she grinned, her hands clasped behind her back. 

“If I wasn’t such a nice boyfriend I could pelt you into oblivion but seeing as it’s cold, I think it would be better if we just got into your car. Isn’t your dad waiting for us back in Ealdor?”

“You’re no fun.” Gwen mumbled as she unlocked the car and slid into the front, setting off towards Ealdor when Lancelot put his seatbelt on. 

The pair had finished their winter finals before the others and seeing as they had almost an entire month off before the second semester began, Gwen had elected to go home and see her father. Lancelot, being an international student, had the option to go home but wanted to stay back for convenience sake and Gwen had invited him to spend the break with her at home. 

Lancelot hadn’t heard much about Gwen’s life at home, just that it was her and her father. He knew that Gwen’s mother had passed a number of years ago and his heart went out to her. While he didn’t know what it was like to lose a parent, Lancelot knew what it was like to have overbearing over-involved parents and it was almost as bad in his opinion. His own parents had always told him what to do with his life; that he had to take science courses and go into a respectable field, that he had to find a wife and have children. The nuclear family, that's what his parents had always expected of him. Lancelot did want a family, there was no denying that, he just wanted all of this on his own terms. 

“I think I should probably warn you that my dad might try to interrogate you. He’s kind of protective of me, its the whole being his only daughter thing.” Gwen explained. “Elyan might be there too but I don’t know for sure.”

“Elyan’s your older brother right? The one you haven’t seen in like three years?” Lancelot asked, just wanting to make sure. 

“Yeah, that would be him. He moved away like three years ago with his best friend, Percival, and I just haven’t seen him since. I don't even think he knows that I’m eighteen now.”

“Well hopefully he’s there so you two can catch up on everything that’s changed since then.”

Gwen nodded her head and turned back to the road ahead, passing the welcome sign into Ealdor. The town was small and homey, a single main street running through everything and shops lined up on either side. Gwen drove straight through the town and continued to drive until they came to a quaint looking farmhouse with a large barn out back. She pulled into the driveway, parking beside a large dirty truck. 

“I know it isn’t much but it’s home.” Gwen said as she popped the trunk and pulled out the bags they had packed, tossing Lancelot his and laughing when he let out a puff of air at how heavy it was. 

“It certainly feels nicer than my home.” Lancelot commented as he followed Gwen into the house. The foyer was small and cozy, worn flannel jackets hanging on the coat hooks and an umbrella rack leaning against the wooden paneling. There was a sort of cozy winter cabin vibe and Lancelot smiled when the smell of a fire crackling in a hearth hit his nostrils. 

The quiet solace of the foyer was broken when a tall kind looking man poked his head into the hallways, stepping onto the carpet and throwing open his arms. “There's my sweet Guinevere! Come give your old man a hug. It’s been months since I’ve seen you since you’ve been forgetting to call me.”

Gwen immediately dropped her beg and ran to her father, throwing her arms around him in a tight hug. His embrace was so warm and comforting and Gwen hadn't been aware of just how much she had actually missed him. “I missed you so much dad. I’m so glad to be home now. Is Elyan finally home for Christmas?”

Tom nodded his head and allowed Gwen into the living room before picking up her discarded bag and looking Lancelot right in his eyes, the friendly glimmer replaced by one of warning and mutual understanding. Lancelot knew that if he hurt Gwen that he would never recover from it and the sheer strength of Tom’s handshake grip was enough to reinforce that. “You must be Lancelot. It’s nice to finally meet the boy that my Guinevere has talked so much about.”

“It’s nice to meet you as well, sir. I appreciate you letting me stay in your home over the break, I truly didn't want to go back home or remain alone in the dorms for the break.” Lancelot nodded. “And I promise that I won’t hurt Gwen. I honestly care quite deeply for her.”

While the two most important men in Gwen’s life acquainted themselves with each other, she slipped into the living room. There was a man sitting on the couch, the dark hair on the back of his head intimately familiar and Gwen immediately wrapped her arms around him from behind. “Elyan!”

Elyan glanced back and his lips split into a wide grin when he saw Gwen, pulling her down onto the couch and hugging her fiercely tight. “Look at you, you got so much taller since the last time that I saw you. And what’s this about getting a boyfriend and going off to university now?”

“Well I am eighteen, I’m not some little girl anymore you know. But yeah, I’m at Avalon studying nursing now. Merlin actually joined me, he’s in religious studies and philosophy. And yes, I have a boyfriend. His name is Lancelot and he is the sweetest boy I have ever met. Funny story, he actually spilled coffee on me the first time we met. Now have you been and why don’t you visit me any more?”

“Well I’m still living with Percival in London and I’ve actually found a job as a teacher for a private school there. Percival’s found a job with the history department at one of the museums and he’s working on getting his masters degree right now.” Elyan smiled, letting go of Gwen and kicking his feet back up onto the coffee table. “I actually promised dad that I would come and visit at least two or three times a year.”

“And I’m going to hold him to that promise.'' Tom said as he and Lancelot came into the living room, setting cups of cocoa on the whorls of the coffee table. Lancelot sat next to Gwen and across from Elyan, doing his best not to raise suspicion.

“So, you must be Elyan, I’m Lancelot.” He said as he extended his hand for another handshake. Lancelot had known that Tom’s handshake was firm but Elyan’s was somehow even stronger and he knew for a fact that he would be dead if he ever hurt Gwen. 

“I am. So, Lancelot, what exactly are your intentions with my sister? What are you studying at school, how are your grades, and are you really sure that dating her while you’re an international student is a good idea?” He asked, his tone rather interrogative in nature. Elyan simply wanted to make sure that Lancelot was in fact the right man for Gwen. 

“Well I just want to date her and have a good time with her. I really like Gwen, she’s just so smart and determined and I know she can hold her own against literally anyone else, man or woman. Honestly I’m not planning to fuck her over or be cruel to her in any way. As for being an international student, I don’t think that that should have an effect on anything. Plenty of people have long distance relationships and they are maintained without an issue so I don’t see why I can’t do that with Gwen. I’m willing to put in the effort to maintain the relationship and I know that she is as well.”

That answer seemed to satisfy both Tom and Elyan and they relaxed around Lancelot, cluing him into family jokes and just generally allowing him to be at ease. The supper that night was home cooked and wonderful, Lancelot having seconds and even thirds before helping himself to dessert. Naturally he helped with the dishes afterwards and allowed Gwen to shower and get dressed before climbing into bed. Lancelot came into the bedroom once Gwen had changed and slid into bed beside her, wrapping his arms around her and kissing the top of her head.

“So, you did pretty good with my dad and my brother.” Gwen smiled, rolling onto her side and burying her face in his neck. “I think you’re going to do well in this family, honestly. You know, I think I love you.”

Lancelot paused, unsure of whether or not he heard her properly. When he ascertained that he had in fact heard properly, he grinned and kissed the top of her head. “I love you too, Guinevere.”


	31. Forgiveness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's a non edited chapter cause midterms are finally over and I have the chance to breathe now. At least until exams.

The departure of Gwen and Lancelot left only two remaining in Gwaine’s dorm room, himself and Morgana. Gwaine had nowhere to go over Christmas, refusing to spend the holiday with his parents who would only shame him for his major and for all of his life choices. It wasn’t that he didn’t love his parents, he did, it was just that they were so overbearing and hardheaded about everything.

As if sensing his train of thought, Morgana spoke. “So, I take it you aren’t going home to your parents which means we’re the only two left here for the break. I would suggest we have a wild romp but unfortunately you’re a bit lacking on the chest for my taste.”

“Fair enough,” Gwaine chuckled, “And as great as you are, I wouldn't sleep with someone in the friend group. Yes, I did sleep with Merlin but we were drunk and he was sad. I would not have done that had I been sober.”

“I’m not doubting you, Gwaine. I am however doubting myself and Merlin did tell me that you’re a good therapist and I could use someone like that to listen to me.”

Gwaine nodded and stretched out on his bed, arms behind his head and legs crossed at the ankles. He had a feeling this would be about her father and knew that it likely would end in either forgiveness or a rift even larger than before. 

“So obviously this is about my father, that’s not a shock to anyone. I’m still so upset that he would treat me like that, disown me in such a public manner. I can’t control the fact that I like women… and I would know because I’ve tried. Leon was his name, I think. We met in my business ethics class basically right after my father disowned me and I figured if I tried to act straight that I could win his love back. So I tried and failed miserably. I couldn’t even bear him getting close enough to kiss me.”

Gwaine frowned at the mention of that, his heart squeezing painfully in his chest. His parents hadn’t reacted well to him coming out as bisexual but at least they hadn’t made him feel so badly as to make him want to act straight. What advice could he offer Morgana? “I honestly can’t imagine what it’s like to have to try and hide that side of yourself, to force yourself to be something you’re not. I know I can’t really offer you a lot of advice but you do know that you still have a family, right?”

“Arthur doesn’t count.”

“You know that’s not what I meant, Morgana.” Gwaine sighed. “Sure, Arthur is your family by blood but the rest of us are your family too. Gwen held your hair back when you threw up after eating that rank cafeteria food, Merlin drank with you and let you subject his face to your makeup imaginings, Lancelot helped you study for that insane science class you took, and I’ve teamed up with you for all those pranks that everyone hates so much. All of us care for you, we are your family and deep down you know that too.”

Morgana simply remained quiet as she thought about what Gwaine had said. Sure the rest of the group wasn’t family by blood but family wasn’t entirely about blood. She didn’t need her father or his name to be happy, what Morgana knew she needed was a group of people who would stand by her no matter what and she had found them. This train of thought didn’t matter much because the vibrating of her phone on the bed startled her back to reality. Morgana wasn’t in the habit of picking up unknown numbers but the caller id said it was the hospital near the campus. Had Arthur been hurt?

“Hello, is this Morgana Pendragon?” Asked the voice on the other end. It was a nice older sounding woman, likely a nurse or an administrator. 

“Yes, it is. What’s this about?”

“Well a man by the name of Uther Pendragon was recently admitted to the hospital with life-threatening injuries and you were listed as his emergency contact. I assume that you’re his daughter or at least family in some capacity. Would you be able to come down to the hospital?”

Morgana felt time slow to a standstill, the roar of her own heart deafening in her ears. Part of her, some deep twisted bit of her soul, was almost relieved at the fact that her father had been in an accident. It was a horrible thought, she knew that, but it happened nonetheless. Perhaps it was simply karma for how awful he had treated both her and Arthur? The other part of her, however, knew that the accident was bad enough for a call which in all likelihood meant that Uther wasn’t going to survive. Did Morgana have it in her heart to be so cruel to him despite everything he had done to her, she didn’t think so. 

“Hello, earth to Morgana. What on earth was that call all about? You like a ghost.” Gwaine said, waving his hand in front of her face and wincing when Morgana slapped it away. 

“My dad had some sort of accident, apparently he’s in the hospital right now and it sounds really bad. I’m his emergency contact still which really surprises me. I don’t know if I should actually go to the hospital to see him. There’s no way I forgive him for what he did but I don't really want him to be alone either. I don't think he’s gonna notice me if he’s already in bad shape so maybe I will take a quick trip over. Would you be able to drive me there?”

“Of course I can.”

~

The hospital was, as all hospitals are, a cold and forbidding pace smelling of rubbing alcohol and something akin to death. Pulling her coat around her even tighter, Morgana stepped inside and found her way over to the desk. The sooner she saw her father and then left, the better it would be for her. “Hi, I’m hoping you can help me. I was called about a half hour ago about Uther Pendragon, they said he was brought in after suffering some sort of accident. I’m his daughter, his emergency contact.”

The nurse at the desk took Morgana in and popped the bubble of her gum before typing a few things into the computer, her nails clacking away on the keys. The information came up quickly and the nurse looked at Morgana with a look that could only be described as a mix between pity and sadness. “He’s in the ICU. That’s floor three, room 304. Here’s your visitor pass.” 

Morgana mumbled a quiet thank you and clipped the badge to her jacket before she took off towards the elevator, Gwaine following in tow. “What are you going to do when you see your dad?”

“I don’t know. Part of me wants to yell at him and scream at him for what he did but I don’t know what condition he’s in and I don't know if I’ll be able to be angry when I do find out.” the elevator seemed to move as if it had a mind of its own, shooting them quickly up the three floors to the icu. 

The unit was cold and intimidating, the off white of the tiles and the grey walls just hurrying the rate of Morgana’s heart. Room 304 the nurse had said, that’s where she would find her father. Walking in, she had no idea what to expect but what she saw she couldn’t have predicted. 

Uther was laying in the bed, all the usual monitors and bags hooked up to him. She had seen all of that before. It was the injuries that shocked her. His hand looked like it had been shattered, metal pins and braces holding it in place, staples above his eye just barely covered by the gauze wrapped around his head. She couldn’t see beneath the blanket and gown that covered him but she knew that it would be bad, a mess of bruises and deep lacerations. Without thinking about it, Morgana was reminded of the firemen prying her mother’s mangled corpse out of the wreck that had been her car all those years ago. 

“Daddy?” She whispered, her feet moving of their volition as they brought her to the side of the bed. She practically fell into the chair beside the bed and reached for Uther’s uninjured hand. Apparently her inner self had decided that she couldn’t be angry at her father when he was like this, clinging to the veil between life and death. She didn’t know where to begin but before she knew it she was just spouting out words, as if someone had taken over her body and forced her to speak. 

“I didn’t understand why you said that you hated me or why you disowned me when you found out. I still don’t understand it and I guess I know now that I never will. I was angry with you afterwards, swore that I would never use our family name to get what I wanted ever again, but then this happened… and now I just don’t know what to do.”

At this Uther began to stir, a movement so slight that Morgana didn’t notice it. 

“I’ve always known that I was like this, mom did too. I told her just before she died and you know what she said? She said that she would love me no matter what and that she was proud of me for having the courage to tell her what I did. Then she died.” Morgana paused, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand before continuing on. “I know that losing mom changed you, that you became harder and more rigid. You miss her, I do too. But I also miss my dad…”

Uther stirred again, gently squeezing Morgana’s hand. This movement was enough to grab her attention and she looked down at their linked hands. Knowing she had Uther’s attention, she continued on with her monologue. 

“I miss the man who used to play catch with me, who used to take me to the library to read all those books about horses and polar bears. You’d take me to work and show me how the stocks worked and how the company ran so that I could inherit it one day. I know that you’ve felt lonely and angry since mom died but that anger is what made Arthur and I distance ourselves from you. That anger is the reason I’ve avoided you for so long. But I guess I can’t avoid you any more.”

Uther’s eyes opened and he turned his head slightly, his normally piercing gaze now fuzzy and trained right on Morgana. He seemed confused at first until it registered with him that he was seeing Morgan and not some phantom specter. “Morgana…”

“I don’t forgive you for what you did to me, not yet,” she said, ignoring his words, “but seeing you like this makes me realize that you’re hurting just as much as Arthur and I are. I won’t abandon you, it’s not right. If you can find it in your heart to even try and accept me for who I am, then I want to try and rebuild our relationship. Despite what you did, you are my father and I still love you.”

Uther, despite the tremendous amount of pain he was in, had been listening to Morgana and what she had to say. Even before she had come in, Uther had been on his way to the university to speak with her and Arthur. The loneliness he had felt since he had disowned the both of them, that inescapable crushing feeling, had been eating him alive and he was beginning to realize that he had been wrong. Was he entirely sympathetic with Morgana and Arthur regarding their sexualities? No. But was he willing to educate himself and change his opinions on that community to ensure that he had a relationship with his children for the foreseeable future? Yes. 

“Morgana, I am sorry.” He croaked, squeezing her hand again. The effort to get the words out was noticeable in the pallor of his face and the sheen of sweat on his skin. “I was cruel and it was wrong of me. There is no excuse.”

Morgana finally turned to listen to Uther and hearing the apology, the  _ sincere  _ apology, was enough to bring tears to her eyes. The welling of tears soon progressed to full on waterworks and she hung her head, resting it on Uther’s chest though that may not have been the smartest choice considering his injuries. His apology, the sheer fact that he had admitted that he was wrong was more than enough for Morgana to give him another chance. “I want to try again, dad. Is that okay?”

“I would like that.”


	32. Epilogue

Had someone told Merlin Emrys that his first year at Avalon university would have resulted in the uncovering of a campus wide plot to ritually sacrfice six university students a year for immortality, he would have said that they were insane. If they had added that he and five of his friends would be considered sacrifices and die only for the devil himself to reverse the entire process and four months of events, he would have had them committed. 

But here he was, sitting on his bed with a large scar on the palm of his hand and the nightmares that felt all too real to reassure him of the validity of the events. Not that it mattered, things had worked out well enough in the end. 

He had made several friends who he knew would be with him for life, he had strengthened his relationship with his mother, and he had even managed to find a boyfriend who he knew would take care of him. 

Aside from all of the kerfuffle around the devil and the paranormal, it had gone well. 

Perhaps he would do his honours thesis on the cult of Henry Avalon and the history of the university, but of course it would need a fancy title.

How about  _ Merlin’s Guide to Love and Murder _ ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has stuck around for this entire fic! I had never imagined I would get such a positive response from it, especially not given that it's my first time writing a Merlin fic. Hopefully in the future I'll have another Merlin fic for all of you!


End file.
